| tl;dr we're in a relationship and she had worries that I'm too good for her and might leave her or similar, how to deal with that thing in general and is that the true reason for her worries?
We flirted and then even had sex, but she told we she was very concerned that we shouldn't be together because of various reasons. She talks a lot but I listen so I also learnt that she was having those worries before we kissed, at some point even made her decide she won't pursue me (but her impulses overrode that, according to her). Let me elaborate on what she told me the worries are.
She and my mother are friends, also of similar age (she is just a few years younger), one of her worries was about how would my mother react. My mother was in fact in the same room when the girl flirted with me, and my mother only tried to help, also gf told mother earlier about how much she likes me, also mother keeps lightly suggesting that I should date gf. gf lives with mother. So this seems to be an entirely stupid worry. Also she mentioned that the age difference is worrying, but couldn't point exactly what is wrong with that (she is very intuitive btw). I don't live with my mother. My mother still doesn't know about us, I don't know what will happen when she learns and says she is happy about us.
This leads me to believe that the worries are just instinctive, and she makes up reasons for them. She also possibly fears that she is not good enough for me and I might not like her for long, also recently when I told her I was thinking about her she asked if those were thoughts which made me smile - it never occurred to me that she might interpret it as if I was thinking about her due to worries, but I gave an answer indicating that I'm slightly in love even though I don't want to be, which is mostly the truth anyway.
What is going on and how to deal with situations like that? It's not the first time a girl fears that I'm too good for her, although this time it might be something different. It leads me to lowering my status (e.g. when I told her I was thinking about her), and that (predictably in hindsight) worked badly last time.
I'm mostly interested about this for the sake of the question, rather than in order to solve my current problem. As a matter of fact, she is right to worry as I believe that I don't have the time for her. And at first I thought this explains it - you can't really lie to women about some things, they will sense it - so from the very start I decided not to lie about it and tell her that I'm probably not up for something serious which will occupy a lot of my time. I expected her worries to disappear and become more explicit as I addressed them (and with honesty too), but this didn't happen - they remained! Why?
It's worth noting that something about my feeling about the whole thing with her - I'm attracted to her, but sometimes I wasn't driven by attraction while we dated. Sometimes I convince myself something is good and then just logically force myself to do it, for example wanting to get to the point where I kiss her, rather than doing what I feel like. People are usually confused and unsure about my motives if they are logical because they can't sense them. However, this had disappeared after we kissed - from there on it was enjoyable to be with her.
She also told me a story where she was dating with a guy whom she liked very much, but he was liked by many women, so she was so anxious about this that she stopped seeing him, even though he persistently went after her.
Also, does this ever happen to you guys?
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