Is this how a man Is suppose to be?
I was always a nice guy, Women would always tell me how sweet I was. Of course they would never date me but I was always the one that they could count on. Through the years I became obsessed with becoming better, always improving, always learning. I never thought anything was wrong with that. The woman that I have been on and off with for the past 6 years isn't what I consider strong in that sense. She is strong in other areas but wanting to improve and be better isn't that. I have the habit of becoming to emotionally invested, I talk and share too much of my emotions and my thoughts. Most men do not do this and it is what I hear most women complain about. “ My man doesn't talk to me” “ He doesn't tell me what he's feeling” “Why can't they just talk”. You know the usual bull Shi*! Through these conversations though I have found that women, most not all, don't really want that guy I described. The things that they complain about they don't really care to have. If that were the case they would be fucking the nice guy whose shoulder she has been crying on every time the so called asshole did something insensitive. The bottom line is that through our relationship I would always try to improve be better and try something new, but the problem is that I would push her to do the same. I would share my emotions, my feelings, things that I want improve on personally and things I want to improve in our relationship. She believes that I’m perfect and that she accepts me for all my faults, that her family has nothing bad to say about me, that really no one does. My answer for her “I try to at least deal with my problems, I try to improve and grow.” Then it hit me. The reason why she always felt bad about herself, had low self esteem, felt degraded wasn't because I neglected her, it was because I shared too much with her. I shared my hopes my wants, my dreams, and my desire to become better. Dealing with this constant attitude of improvement can make someone feel inadequate. Its the difference between being hungry and complacent. If I had walled off that part of me off, if I didn’t share the core of my being would things be different? I was raised to be this nice guy and we all know where that leads us. Digging deeper into that though, is being too talkative, being too emotionally available kill possible relationships? How does one wall that part pf them off, and set limiters without completely cutting them self off socially? Is there a balance between being ambitious and complacent? To continue to improve yourself, keeping that drive while at the same time keeping it isolated from her? Is this how a man is suppose to be​? Do women really want this? We all know that the answer to that last question is yes.