I want to cut the bull shit from the off,i want to explain my beliefs about confidence. Too many times i have heard the phrase "fake it to you make". If you can't drive a car, you can't "fake it until you make it", if you've never boxed a professional, you can't "fake it until you make it". If you've have 0 information on becoming an astronaut but you have the opportunity to take a test to get in,you can't "fake it until you make it" I think ive made my point clear lol. THIS POST IS NOT ME GIVING YOU AN EXCUSE TO NOT GAME, OR WAIT FOR THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO GAME. Confidence to me is having that unwavering feeling inside of entitlement regardless of what others think and do.

If i was to ask you a what was 2+2.... you would all answer 4, no hesitance. That to me is confidence coming through knowledge. If i was to asking a hard question you may struggle,become hesitant or may not even know the answer, which is fine because with more knowledge you could.

You know from either your own experience or the experience of others.Touch something hot, you get burned. Eat out of date/uncooked food, you'll get food poisoning.This is from experience, and through experience you learn not do these things.When im boxing and i spar a beginner, i know from experience and knowledge to outbox someone, even if they have strength and height advantages.

My problem is when it comes to game, people say you have to think your the best, your the only man that matters etc etc. Which is all fine and dandy, but when you reality doesn't agree with that, how do you overcome this? I would say im an attractive man,dress well. However It's always my friends that clean up girls wise, more likes on facebook/instagram. We gout, theyre usually their first to to get approached by girls. When im with a girl they'll mention my friends sometimes. They date more frequently than i do etc etc. How do tell myself im "THE MAN" with all these conflicting ideas.

It sounds as if you are not comfortable in your own skin so what you end up doing is comparing yourself to everyone around you. The secret of not having to compare yourself is accepting who you are and then presenting your best self for everyone else. You don't necessarily gain confidence, but you will drop insecurity. If you are not projecting insecurity that will raise your attraction level.

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You answered your own question. Seems to me you're lacking the knowledge it takes to KNOW you're just as good as anyone else.

Knowledge will change the ideas you hold that are inhibiting your success. You just said you're putting yourself down because of your friend's seeming success with girls. Just bc they get approached by a girl doesn't make them better than you!

From what you wrote that you're either brand new to pickup, or haven't studied much about game. There is so much material out there you should absorb from RSD to Mystery to Paul Janka to 48 laws of Power to Keys to the VIP. Have you heard of these things? So many different schools of though and resources to taste!!

Want unwavering confidence and to truly make a change in the way you think? Follow the advice Eddie Fews already gave you in your other thread: i-lost-my-fucking-mind-vt190720.html

It's just very Frustrating, thinking I'm a good looking personal, dress will but with little success. So my head just gets confused.i feel like I'm adding 3+3 and getting 2 lol :s

I've been coaching guys for over 4 years now on how to grow confident and successful with women. Now I
won't pound my chest to prove how great I am, I just want to make a point about confidence that's simple
to understand.

If you ask most guys "What is confidence" they'll tell you things like, "O it's about being the shit, and
the maaaaan"

But what confidence comes down to my man is your BELIEFS. That's right.

Your BELIEFS shape your self-image, which is what your confidence is. It's how you SEE yourself in this world, especially compared to women and other guys.

If you look at yourself in the mirror, and the thoughts that come to you are,

> "Look at yourself. Women don't want to date a guy like you. You're a loser"

...than that is your SELF-IMAGE, and that is how you will feel when with women.

If you believe women don't like you, then when you're around them, you'll behave in an insecure, wussy way.

If you believe women don't want to talk to you, then you'll talk in a quiet, self-conscious way.

But if you believed that every woman finds you extremely interesting once she starts talking with you,
you'd behave totally different.

If you believed that there is something about you that women just love, then you'd behave in a much more
confident and congruent way with them.

Make sense?

If you want to change your confidence, work on your BELIEFS. Specifically, how you go about this
is by first, IDENTIFYING your limiting beliefs.

Start by asking yourself this question, "What do I believe women generally think of me?"

And jot down everything that comes to you. Write every sentence, because those are your limiting beliefs.

You might get something like,

> "They think I am a loser" or
> "They think I'm unattractive" or
>"They think I'm just another guy" etc.

Then ask yourself this question,

> "What do I believe women think of me when I approach them?"

And again, jot down everything that you come up with. It might be,

> "They think OMG who is this guy" or
> "Can you believe this guy is actually talking to us" or
> "They think I'm creepy and weird"

Trust me, this is the key. Define your beliefs.

Then after you've defined your big limiting beliefs, work on changing them.

How?

There is an amazing amount of tools available for changing limiting beliefs, just google
some of them.

However, I would recommend you try out a tool I developed called the 360' degree belief destroyer, that I
specifically designed for beliefs regarding confidence with women.

The way it works is by giving you 4 different perspectives on a beliefs so it automatically destroys itself.

You can find the entire tool in my book, under the chapter on beliefs, mentioned in my signature.

If you'd like, I can even lead you through a process of belief destruction myself. You can apply in the test
group below.

Hope this helps and that this will take you on your journey of confidence with women. Good luck!

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in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

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You want confidence? Sign up for a public speaking class. Sign up for a dance class. Sign up for martial arts. Go to the gym. Talk to every woman you see--regardless of age (no children) or whether you want to bang them or not. Be proactive. Fake it until you make it. Once you overcome the fears of interacting with total strangers, it will all come naturally. But the only way to be confident is to be confident around strangers. And the only way to be confident around strangers is to practice interacting with strangers.