How to not be needy without playing games?



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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 5:05 pm 
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There's this girl I've been seeing (3 dates) since I met her like a month ago. We have a great time together, very kissing, cuddly and sexy (not had sex if that's relevant). Anyway, we don't normally have long text chats, instead we might chat on the phone. But, last night after our date we were texting a lot, flirty/sexy texts talking about her coming over and other things.

Anyway, I want to text her today to just say hi really and talk more (normally I'll have 'a reason' to text) but I'm mindful of appearing needy. I've read some good stuff about this on google but it seems geared towards people texting girls before they've gone on a date, rather than a few dates in... I chatted to my friends about this (girl friends, so I know I should be a bit wary of their opinion) and they criticise me for 'playing games' by not texting when I want to. Should I text her, and how do I not appear needy without playing games and purposely not texting?

I don't find it appealing waiting a certain amount of time to respond, etcetera but I do adhere to some of the guidelines I've read (not reply to everything she writes, not reply to every message, don't always reply straight away, etc).

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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 7:05 pm 
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There are no rules to follow. Do whatever you feel like. Text her immediately if you want. The thing is that she might like you even more if she understand that you like her too. But!!! There is only one thing to watch out for! If she loses interest, starts answering your texts without enthusiasm etc. If that happens, immediately take a step back. Maybe acknowledge the vide you get by saying something like "you don't seem to be very enthusiastic about this, maybe we should talk another time?".

Some girls are impossible to enthuse. Others are easier. Don't blame yourself if things go wrong unless you did some obvious mistake.


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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 8:09 pm 
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You can do whatever you want Clocks,

Its all about how secure you are about doing so. If you believe that contacting her first goes against something inside of you, it will place a strain on the relationship. A girl is more concerned with how you feel about your decisions than how she feels about them. If you feel needy about texting her first, and you do it anyway she will receive it that way.

Its not about "playing games" its about being the master of your emotion. If you punched every guy that you "Felt" like punch that wouldn't serve you well. But is it playing games to not do what you "Feel " like? You have to know the difference.

In my personal experience a girl wants to be chased down in the beginning, but after that she wants to chase you down. Its fun for her to "Secure you in" and/or "lock you down". Once you're in, just let get do the chasing. It makes her happy.

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PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2015 11:44 am 
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Quote:
There are no rules to follow. Do whatever you feel like. Text her immediately if you want. The thing is that she might like you even more if she understand that you like her too. But!!! There is only one thing to watch out for! If she loses interest, starts answering your texts without enthusiasm etc. If that happens, immediately take a step back. Maybe acknowledge the vide you get by saying something like "you don't seem to be very enthusiastic about this, maybe we should talk another time?".

Some girls are impossible to enthuse. Others are easier. Don't blame yourself if things go wrong unless you did some obvious mistake.

Thanks dude. Solid advice, will bear it in mind!

Quote:
You can do whatever you want Clocks,

Its all about how secure you are about doing so. If you believe that contacting her first goes against something inside of you, it will place a strain on the relationship. A girl is more concerned with how you feel about your decisions than how she feels about them. If you feel needy about texting her first, and you do it anyway she will receive it that way.

Its not about "playing games" its about being the master of your emotion. If you punched every guy that you "Felt" like punch that wouldn't serve you well. But is it playing games to not do what you "Feel " like? You have to know the difference.

In my personal experience a girl wants to be chased down in the beginning, but after that she wants to chase you down. Its fun for her to "Secure you in" and/or "lock you down". Once you're in, just let get do the chasing. It makes her happy.

Thanks also, Eddie. Very interesting about girls wanting to be chased in the beginning... when I think about my friends in relationships, it definitely seems to be the woman who is chasing the man for responses, intimacy,etc. I guess it's just getting them to that stage of investment


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