The girl in hand is a friend of a friend. We've seen each other around once in a while as we have friends in common although we'd never talked for more than 5 minutes until last week when I decided to sarge her.

Started off in the que outside the club with an opinion opener - I asked her and her friend what she thought about me getting strippers for my brothers batchelor party etc.

I gave her negs throughout the night, for example, if she interupted me I tapped her on the forehead and said "woah is there an off button?" etc.

I used Styles' "If I wasnt gay Id totally make you mine" comment as well. (which really works btw!)

I also spent time with my other friends who were there and about as much time talking to her girlfriends as I did to her.

She is 22 but shes short so we had a running joke about her being "a big girl now"... a slogan from a nappies commercial so i came up with the nickname pampers for her.

By the end of the night I was getting IOIs... she was holding me to her outside the club and kept pulling my hands around her waist.

So thats the background, now onto the problem...

Email conversation which began on sunday and went on til wednesday...

Her: Im a big girl now ....... ish x

me:haha you're a big girl now... or something like it! Hows my adorable little brat?

Her: who you calling a brat? thats not very nice!

Me: dont be silly pampers, I said adorable too!
Just saw a man walking down the street in a nappy and it reminded me of you!!

Her: A man in a nappy... Please explain!!

(I tried to make an open loop here so I ignored her question) (and in case your wondering, no I didn't really see a man walking down the street in a nappy)

me: i heard an interesting fact today... a one minute kiss burns 26 calories!

Her: what are you tlking about???

email me at work

mwah

xxxxx

Her (again 20 minutes later -I hadnt replied yet): Install it so we can chat:
(She then sent me a link to a msn type messenger service-think its made by facebook )

Me: (that evening after work): I don’t have time to be chatting to you all day pampers!! But you seem like you’d make a fun friend... message me back, maybe Ill have some time this week and you can join me for an ice cream

..........................................

I put the word 'friend' in the last message due to David De'Angelo's idea that saying you are interested in her being a friend will put her off guard.

Anyway, I havent heard a reply from her and its been 2 days. Not exactly long, I know, but just wondering about how to proceed.

I was thinking about sending another email along the lines of
"Playing hard to get already?? Careful or I might start to think you like me!"

alternatively, I couldn't decide whether to just leave it and wait until the next time we bump into eachother through our mutual friends.

Any thoughts?

I think the problem is obvious, over negging. You only want to be using a couple of negs, then when you move into A3 drop the negs. For me what comes after that is just teasing, taking the micky and just playful humour. The neg is used just to show a IOD and disqualify yourself, and to bring down her ego. Showing non neediness. It doesn't create attraction, so why keep doing it. I've got a few negs i use and everything else i use after that is just playful and cocky + funny.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

I agree, too many negs so you might have just seemed like an asshole or arrogant, not cocky and funny.

Overnegging seems to be a huge problem for people starting out. I think it's because when you neg, it works instantly and the girl begins to qualify herself. The guy sees this as an cause and effect relationship for attraction so they keep doing it. The thing is, when you keep doing it, it does the opposite of attraction. I think it needs to be made clearer that you should never really neg more than 3 times (or 2 times if it's an HB8 and under). Either that or calibration needs to be emphasized more.

I agree that there have been too many negs but i also agree that a week worth of emails is quite borring. attraction can only be built and sustained face to face. if you spend too much time over the internet or over the phone, you will start to loose interest from her. Meet her face to face to start over.


B-Sweet

It seems I jumped the gun when I thought I'd been nexted on this occasion. She came back to me the day I posted and said

"ice cream sounds good - but waffles are so much better! - ever been to the waffle house?

ps - cant believe i have the nckname of pampers!!!!!

x"

to which i replied
"Well get used to it cos your stuck with it now. Although it occurred to me that I’m a big girl now might have actually been from huggies, not pampers???

Waffles sounds like an amazing idea!! I like where your brains at. I’m kinda busy for the next couple of weeks but tell me when you’re free and we'll arrange!"

although im not actually busy over the next couple of weeks i thought it was worth saying in an attempt at a dhv and so she doesnt think im readily available to her.

I will keep posting updates on this one so that, assuming it progresses, I have a record of everything that happened and then I can go back over it and see what I did right or wrong.

Fingers crossed for my first attempt at a sarage since reading The Game!

Busy for a couple weeks???? I would have said days, but that's just me.

Sounds like you're doing okay though bro. 1st sarge, and you got her. Good job!