met a guy (24) online, chatted a few times..we set up a first date which he cancelled 30 min before because he couldnt leave work, but he set up another date. this date was great, had a few drinks at my place, talked for hours, which eventually led us to kiss, cuddle and play around with each other (clothes on..well at least the relevant ones ) with each other for another couple of hours.

he told me that he will leave to australia for a 6 week backpack holiday in 2 days and was looking forward to it, because he is crazy about travelling, getting to meet new people etc.

due to the long absence, i told him that i would be out clubbing with friends tomorrow night and that he could come along..he said that his sibblings were visiting him at the moment, but that he thinks he should be free after midnight, so that it could work.

so i text him that/the next evening, he responds that he is still with his relatives and will let me know whether he can make it. eventually at around 1:00 he texts that he couldnt make it, wishes me fun should i still be out right now and that we will see each other upon his return...i however didnt respond as i didnt have reception at the club and received the text message at around 3:00.

that was the morning of the day of his departure, he is in australia and he hasnt initiated contact since. i am pretty sure he will get in touch upon arrival but here is the "issue":

i am not looking for a mere sexual encounter, more into getting to know him to see if he is "relationship material". i know that the best way to attract someone is to play it loose and just have fun and then see what happens. my problem however is the fact that we had a really long evening that went more than well and i have an issue with the fact that he hasnt gotten in touch during the vacation.

i somewhat dont like the idea of someone coming back and then all of a sudden getting in touch again after that long of a time, as it comes across as oppertunistic and doesnt convey much interest...at least thats how i feel about it..

am i being too strict or would you agree that i am right in my assessment of a low interest level?

thoughts/ advice really would be appreciated!

Hi Gymrat

You're... a girl? (or are you a gay guy?)

He's 24. Hold old are you?

i' m a 31 yo gay guy! i dont know whether this factors in at all, but so far he has never had a relationship. he claims its because he constantly is travelling around the globe as a passion and is out of town 24 weeks in the year on average.

my beef with the story is that from my perspective, if i meet a guy i am interested in getting to know, i cannot forsee a scenario where i wouldnt get in touch once in a while, even at a great distance, if we had a great evening involving kissing/fooling around endlessly for roughly 7 hrs. but maybe thats just me because i more of the old-fashion type.

possibly others might disagree and i might be missing out on the fact that it only was one evening and he was 2 days away from his long vacation, so somehow our encounter wasnt the best timing. then again it also might be lack of genuine interest.

i am pretty sure that upon the return he will get in touch as he announced in his last text. the correct way of proceeding probably would be to ignore the mentioned issue and just have a fun time. me being me however, i have great difficulties with that, as i do want to bring it across that i didnt appreciate that and that it raises the question as to whether i actually want to proceed with getting to know him, obviously in a playful manner. i know its a thin line to being afc and thats why i am seeking advice.

You are likely to be more than busy enough 2 days before departing on such a trip (with goodbyes, making ammendments, getting ready, etc.) so of course he did not have time to meet you. Don't be a bitch about this. Then again, it seems to me that you already know this, and are looking for a confirmation. So yeah. Just forget about this incident and move on as planned.

Edit: And oh, I forgot: Do not expect him to get in touch with you while he's traveling. I did the exact same trip, and part of the beauty is to leave everything behind; so texting people back at home is pretty low on your priority list.

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my beef with this isnt that, its the fact that he didnt get in touch during his lengthy vacation. its just something i wouldnt do, so i was wondering if others also see this as a sign of low interest or whether others could see themselves acting the same way despite being interested.

Ah well, as I said in my edit: When you are traveling, the last thing you wanna think about is home; and it's not like you guys are gonna meet as long as he's in Oz, so I don't see the point in reporting back periodically anyway. As I said, take it easy, man. Could be a sign of disinterest; but most likely is him being busy with life.

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I don't really know how well pickup works on a guy... But hey! There are female members here so it must have at least some value in that area.

You two aren't dating. You just fooled around one night, right? I don't know that you're really at that 'point' where he'll be thinking about you day and night while he's away.

Chill out, man. It's cool to shoot him a text a week or two in - say you were sitting around having a beer today and something reminded you of him - thought you'd say hello and you hope his holiday is going well.

I also agree with Bounce on the fact that the time before leaving for a month was probably fairly hectic - probably nothing to worry about there.

Welcome to the forum BTW.