Hello everyone I am new to this forum I am seeking advice and I thought maybe some people here could help me haha. I was dating a girl she is 19 and I met her online everything was going great but it suddendly changed from 1 day to another. I even asked some of my female friends their opinion and even they were clueless as of why she would act like that. By the way i couldn't close on that girl.

Basically I dated this girl I went out with her on a couple of dates and it was always nice we closed the shop everytime we went to take a cofee even when she told me she had to go early she kept insisting to stay so she seemed into me. ( about 4 dates in 2 weeks at that point that went really well after that it went downhill ) but even after that she always replied and never took ages to do so most of the time she did instantly. Also when we were seeing each other she was doing about 50 minutes of road to come see me and 50 to go back.

After about the 3rd date or 4th she said she was missing me, she asked me when we would see eachother she was eager to see me. We were planning to do some dessert cooking as she loves that and I am a sugar addict I would have seen that as a good opportunity to connect with her and watching movies and tv shows at my house and she said she was really be happy to accept that invitation everything was going well and I tought I could invite her to sleep after that and I could then close the deal. We had to cancel that since she had to work the day we planned and our schedule couldn't match after that for a while.

About 5 days after she said she was missing me we went on our 5th date but it didn't went well she was acting strange, not as confortable as normally but we still had fun but I knew something was off.

For about 1 month we texted not as much as we did before I said good morning she said good morning I didn’t write anything else the same day and sometimes she would say how is your day going? So she was still trying to talk but we didn’t see each other and she asked me twice but then cancelled at the last minute both times.

I then thrown the ball at her by saying when is the next time you think you could be available? She said probably Tuesday so she seemed still opened to see me.

Sometime like the 20th I asked her how it went at her work today? She said not too well. I said how come ? She said because its like that ( cold answer ) I didn’t reply. I didn’t write to her the day after and she didn’t .

the 23rd is when I got tired of all of this because we talked that we wanted to do something but she cancelled again I wanted to make things clear I had been waiting and hoping for way too long and she kept saying things that made me think she was still into me but she kept saying she is just not feeling well and needed time .So I told her we could go talk and if you don’t want to see me anymore after that then we can stop seeing eachother if this is what you wish I just want to make things clear ( I had to push it to that point since she wouldn’t say it ) She then said look I like you allot I like to be with you and talk with you but there is not more on my side that is why went away in the last days. I then asked her why did you wait so long to tell me that then and always tell me that it was because you were not feeling well but you still wanted to see me.


She then said : Because I wasn’t sure and yes it was true ( that she wasn’t feeling well ) I just realised recently ( I guess at her job since it was nothing special like our other dates )
I told her I find that weird because she kept saying she was well with me and it was the same for me.

She said I don’t know what to say I was well with you also but there was something missing. We then stoped talking for 4 days. I then asked if we could go talk I wanted to clarify things and text message or phone is bullshit I like to see people reactions in person. But she had a dinre that day but she didn’t propose any other day so I felt like she didn’t want to so I just said have a nice day then. I then decided to ask her by text since I knew she wouldn’t meet me in person.

She said if there is nothing after a few dates there is something wrong I was pushing myself to see if it would change but it wasn’t ( How come then after 4 dates she said he was missing me and wanted to see me etc etc and kept telling me stuff like that it was just messing with my head at that point I was not acting like I would normally ) I then asked more questions about it and she said I don’t know what to say more for now. I said okay.

It took 2 days then she replied back ( we didn’t talk during that 2 days )
She said yes you are right on allot of things I like you allot you are someone wonderful you are like the perfect men but multiple things are not right with me first its blocking second you don’t deserve someone like me since I often hurt people and you don’t deserve that so by doing what I was doing it was for your own good and mine too? I don’t want us to be in bad term ( I don’t know why she would say that when we are not even talking to each other anymore ) I then replied that I was there all this time for her if she doesn’t realise that and that doesn’t change anything for her then she is right I don’t deserve that. Then she didn’t reply ( we didnt text after that )

The 1st I said to her I still wanted to wish you a happy new year she replied thanks and you too!

I wanted more answers since I was paranoid at that point I asked myself so much questions because how all this happened ( normally I don’t react like this ) but I don’t know this time its different and the way she acted made me messed up in my head I didn’t know what went wrong. So to see what she would say I told her what I tought. So I blamed myself saying maybe it was because I was not intense enuf? ( since she asked me to kiss her more etc etc even if I did I don’t know ) She said stop baling yourself it has nothing to do with you. Then I told her more stuff she said I undersand then I said that is why I wanted to speak to you in person. She said hmm I don’t know ( yet again she doesn’t say no…. )

Then I told her if that was not the problem or what it was blocking what is the problem then I would like to understand? Her: I don’t know its hard to explain. I then said right after that is why we should meet up and talk. She said we will see probably. ( so yet again she doesn’t close the door )
Again a couple of days pass we didn’t really talk I asked her why she never say no and always say maybe, I don’t know, probably and she said because she is not sure…. ( I don’t remember when but she also told me she was happy when she was seeing me and had fun everytime but nothing was pushing her to like jump in my arms she said she found me pretty but something was blocking like I mentioned earlier and sometime we were supposed to do something 1 day but she said she wasn’t feeling well ( shes the one who proposed that day )

After all that she said live your life and one day when we will be both available we will see each other again and it could work because right now I have other priorities ( again she give some hope why can’t she just not respond or say no… ) She said it is useless to push things it will not work that way. I didn’t reply like 8 hours later I said you are right I tried to push things too much at this point I will let time pass and we will see. I hope you get better that is the most important thing( because of her health problem )

After that we never texted again and that is about 3 weeks ago.

No one will read something this enormous, man.

Seriously.

If you want replies - create/add a condensed version at the bottom of the post

Here Is what I was thinking of doing :

Option 1 Texting her : I hope your health is doing better?

Option 2 Not doing anything and hope she message me ( I highly doubt she would she is not the kind of girl like that I think

Option 3 Send her flowers on valentine day saying I hope your heart and health is going better or something like that. ( I wouldn’t write anything else I bet she will know its from me anyway and I wouldn’t say anything about valentine day in it )

I think option 1 might be the best and keep send her a message every 1-3 weeks to ask how she is doing and whats up and hope she ask me out sometime for a coffee since I already did all I could and pushed a bit too much already if she want she will ask no?

Just the fact that you asked your female friends ,tells me that you're fairly clueless with women (as we all were at one point, I'm not judging you).

1. Never ask other women - they tell you what you want to hear, it's in their nature; women naturally want to mother guys in a weird way. Also, what women WANT is not what they emotionally respond to (this is why you hear lines like "Any girl would be lucky to have you" and stuff. That line means "I want a guy like you, but I don't emotionally respond to guys like you, I get excited by bad boys)

2. Coffee dates? A full day watching movies? I already know that you haven't fucked this girl lol. You're 100% in the friendzone. She was initially interested in you, probably, but you didn't make a move on her so she gave up on you. You should be setting dates in the evening. As Corey Wayne said "A date is a romantic, fun-filled opportunity for sex to happen" (look him up, you'll learn a LOT. I suggest you read his book and watch his videos.)

3. I didn't read the whole thing, btw.

4. DON'T DO ANYTHING. I don't think you're strong enough at all to stick to this, but it's good advice. Think of music. Is music a constant noise? Does a song just go "beeeeeeeeeeep"? No, it's the gaps inbetween the sounds that turn it into a nice rhythm. You've done your part. Imagine you've hit the ball to her, you're not going to keep hitting more and more before she gets chance to hit back. You need to come across as a guy with options.

5. I think you're only interested in this girl because you don't have any others on the scene, get more.

6. Stop putting women before everything else in your life.

7. Again, don't do anything for valentine's - she isn't your girlfriend.

8. On average, girls sleep with guys after 2-3 dates. That should tell you how hard you've been friendzoned, if you think about how close you've been to sex.

I know you're sat reading this, thinking "Well that isn't true because bla bla... WAIT HE NEVER READ THE WHOLE THING SO HE DOESNT KNOW SHIT!" but I read enough. It's a natural reaction of all guys, we lie to ourselves. You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. Learn from it, do nothing more with this girl until she contacts you, then you go back to contacting her ONCE A WEEK to set up a SPAM date, or an in person date.

Hope I helped.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Ok, you've edited it a bit (13 times!)... It's about half the size that it was now, and you're new, so I read it over...

Here's what I think - tough love, man... you need to hear this though. Unfortunately, I do not think you're reading her signals and taking the hint:
This is her politely telling you she doesn't want to date you.
She didn't want to meet you again because she already told you all she had to say - she doesn't want to date you. She did not propose another day because she did not want to see you again.
Again, she did not want to see you. She's said all she has to say. She isn't interested.
She didn't reply to this and hasn't messaged you since because it's over, and that's what she wanted...


How should you proceed?
Nothing wrong with this... but dude, she does not want a relationship with you. You are belaboring it and she doesn't want anything to do with it.
She will not message you. She's not interested.
This option is very creepy... as she is not interested.

Bottom line, man: SHE IS NOT INTERESTED. MOVE ON... Sorry if that isn't what you want to hear, but it's the truth.

By the way thanks allot of the great reply

Ya I think you are right about everything and when she said I don't know what is blocking I almost told her it is because you fucking friendzoned me but I think that would have been a bad move. The problem is I am not used to relationship I never wanted to get attached before and I was only seeking casual and getting easy sex without any emotional attachment I am not used to getting attached and I got attached to this girl this is when it went bad I think haha.

2. Coffee dates? A full day watching movies? I already know that you haven't fucked this girl lol. You're 100% in the friendzone. She was initially interested in you, probably, but you didn't make a move on her so she gave up on you. You should be setting dates in the evening. As Corey Wayne said "A date is a romantic, fun-filled opportunity for sex to happen" (look him up, you'll learn a LOT. I suggest you read his book and watch his videos.) ** you are right I didn't fuck her I tought I could close the day she would come to my house ** and thanks I will read about Corey Wayne


5. I think you're only interested in this girl because you don't have any others on the scene, get more.

-Actually no I have a fuckfriend but this is no longer what I am seeking I was trying to get into a relationship with this girl as she had everything I was looking for and we had allot of things in common the problem is I am used to clubs and bars and mutual consented sex without emetional attachement ( no dating)

I just find it odd that someone would say to you they miss you then 5 days after that when you see them they act really different almost indiferent. I think I should have told her to come by my house that day but I wanted to take my time with this girl since she said she wanted to take her time ( Next time I won't listen to this bullshit ) I didn't want to mess things up but in the end I did!

Women are very emotional. Men are logical. That is one of the first things I learned when getting into this stuff. Womens emotions change daily lol.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

"By the way i couldn't close on that girl since I wanted a relationship." I stopped reading here. Why do guys think this way? One of the quickest ways to get a girl invested in you is to have sex with her. Next time you meet a girl you really like, hump her as many times as you can and see where it goes from there.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.