Quote:
I go in there, full steam ahead. Deeply motivated.
Place : Bar in the middle, techno/pop music with high volume. Relatively small dance floor. Some tables and chair there and there.
I felt like working the whole fucking night. Dancing was working, talking was working. I had too push myself every fucking second. Actually it felt worse than work, because at least at work I don't have too push myself so hard to do the things.
I received no respect from anybody. I would talk to some guys because he was my friend brother and he would barely look at me. When it was 3 am I left and would pat him on the arm to say good bye and he ignored me, so I pushed harder and he kept ignoring me. While I was dancing, some guy came to me and said ''yeah, you trying hard, go try hit her'' *points some hot girl* I'm thinking like ''am I that fucking obvious, why can't I look like i'm not there just to have a good time?...'' anyway, i still go see that hot girl because she's a hot girl and in seconds she politely rejects my hands and keep on dancing.
I received a lot of girl looking at me for .2 second and then touching their hair. That's what I received the most, touching hair. 95% of the girl, even some that looked relatively interested in my dancing, were just turning their back too me. I have NO idea what it means and I have no fucking clue what do do from there. Do I just fucking go grab he shoulder (mmh... no that's weak)... do I just fucking grab her (mmh not sure, might be too much, she will think shes being raped by an unknown)
Well that's pretty much it.
Overall, received no respect from anybody, even the guys.
Everytime some girl would talk too me, my mind went total blank, had nothing to say.
Did not knew what to do with girls dancing their back too me.
Didn't knew how to ask a girl too dance.
Didn't knew how to physically approach a girl that's dancing.
Didn't knew what to do when she was dancing her back turned too me, sometimes looking at me and touching her hair.
Results = None
Cryed about an hour after that, just thinking how bad I am and how long this fucking road is.
Dammit bro, this entire post made me cringe so bad and gave me a bit of social phobia lol. First off: You CRIED? What the actual fuck man, you are caring about this entire thing WAY too much. That being said, going out alone takes balls and to know what you are doing. To me, it sounds as if you were just being embarassingly obvious. And if it feels like "working", others can probably tell as well, and it just comes off as needy and creepy. I say ditch this entire going out alone thing for the moment. You are meant to have a bit of fun after all, and you are clearly not having it at the moment. Focus your energies on self improvement (both inner and outter game. You have way too many insecurities and "don't know how to react in XYZ situation" going on), learn how to properly socialize and interact with others (I mean, if there was people you knew, why didn't you hang out with them for a while?) and, if you have to run solo, maybe try some daygame next time.
Also, about this entire masturbation habit thing... Personally, I call bs on no fap; no porn is where it's at. No fap will just throw you into a flatline that will make you feel even worse for ages and not really change a lot. Or at least that's my experiences. I say go for it, since it probably won't hurt. And man, you really need to get back into more "normal" sex habits; it's hurting your desire and potentially your ability to perform in bed more than you would think. Then again, it's not magic. Don't lay back and wait for "no fap" or "no porn" to magically fix your life for you, because it will not happen and you will be disappointed. It's just a healthy habit; no more and no less.