Long story short, my ex who I had bad oneitis over last year has been contacting me for the past two weeks, after a year of not speaking with me. She's now got a boyfriend, I've been out gaming other women and quite successfully too.

I've come so far in a year, a much better job, got myself in great shape etc

I've slowly felt feelings coming back for her this week, but every day I've tried to go NC, she's always initiated in some way, be it a snapchat or texting. For example, I put a picture of a chanel shopping bag up on my snapchat story after getting some aftershave for myself, she then text me saying "You shouldn't have x"

I can't and won't get oneitis over her again, she has a boyfriend and it's not fair on myself to be speaking this often

My question and advice needed is, how do I politely inform her to 'cool off' without obviously being blatantly ignorant and ignoring her?

Any help would be appreciated, thanks guys.

Block

BLOCK her she has a man now. you need to keep doing you.

Lol

You do realize she just wants to fuck you, yes?

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RSDTyler

If you're making a post about her; it is highly likely that you will get oneitis again. Ignore her man. It will do wonders for your self esteem and potential success with women in the future if you do. You have to take your emotions serious; There are men that literary lose their shit over women. Continue moving on with your life and you will grow far more than if you entertain her.


A little sex from an ex is worthless; especially if you successfully gaming new women.


The odds are; her new boyfriend isn't showing her enough attention or he cheated, so she wants to do the same back to him. And an ex boyfriend is the best option, because having sex with someone she once did won't increase her number.

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I've ignored her last text, I've actually annoyed myself these past two days, had to snap out of it

Wouldn't want to give her the pleasure anyway, gone are the days where she was put on a pedestal

Why is this so complicated? Just man the fuck up tell her to back off or else you'll block her. Why should you spare her feelings when she can't take the hint?

Bitterness detected.

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RSDTyler

If the days were gone that she was put on a pedestal, then this would have been much easier than asking for our opinion on what to do. Face the facts; there's still something drawing you in. Granted you recognized the issue this time - but you still came looking for the answer. In which case, you'll end up getting oneitis again.

So she wants to fuck you? Ok, sure. But the issue is... You wouldn't be able to do it and just walk away. So for that - get out now! Just tell her you don't want to get involved again and move on.

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Yep-bitter.

Show it? No.

Arguable that she wants to fuck me, more that as earlier suggested she wants some attention. Who says girls can't text ex's without wanting to fuck them?

Anyway, progress has been made as I would have caved in at this point before. Nothing wrong with posting on here for some advice/motivation/reality check.

No, wanting attention looks different than this.

Her current boyfriend is boring her, and she wants someone she's comfortable with to fuck her.

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RSDTyler

Versalis.. You are 100% right.

What i don't think you realize is, he is not currently emotionally stable enough to handle that situation in a way in which he won't get fucked over. If he had your attitude; he could do it.. no problem. But you have to deal with people on the level that they are currently on. Not the level you are on.

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It's up to him if he wants to do it. I didn't tell him to. I'm just telling him what's going on, because he's misreading it. Sometimes running away from a potential problem is the best solution. Sometimes going in and mastering it is. I don't know OP well enough to say which I think is better for him. But I think being armed with knowledge is always a good thing.

He mentions the BF several times. That guy doesn't matter. He thinks this is probably just attention seeking - it isn't. It's good to know these things in general. Say for another girl he doesn't have feelings for that does this.

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RSDTyler

I appreciate every bit of advice given, don't take me the wrong way. This girl is the ONLY girl I have ever had oneitis over, ever.

I will be up front, with my experience I would rather walk away than be rejected by her again and it be a huge blow to my confidence, perhaps my interpretation of her wanting her just wanting attention and not wanting to fuck is my self defence mechanism.

But I based this on the context of her contact, here's some notable examples of our exchanges:

-She texts me off the cuff such as the snapchat story of my shopping, for example "You shouldn't have x"
-Yesterday she texts me saying "I'm so hungover, help meee x"
-After seeing my snapchat of myself waiting for a meeting at work, she text me saying "Love those shoes x"
-We have started a long running joke, where I tease her for 'not going to the gym' so everytime she is in the gym, she sends a sarcastic picture to me
-I jokingly said to her last week mid convo "where is my invite to the wedding" to which she responded "that won't be for a good 10 years lol x"

Is that an indication of her wanting to fuck me, or being friendly? I interpreted the latter, but if you guys think it's not, then I have learnt something which I can take forward.

Bluey

Versalis, as someone much more experienced than me, how would you handle the situation. I'm intrigued to know?