Ok, it's not really oneitis, I'm not sad over her, I just really want to fuck her.

The standard advice is, of course, fuck ten other women, but as many of you know on here, I have a decent amount of girls that I talk to, and fuck. But I started chatting with this one off of Tinder. I didn't play it as well as I should have (should have just told her to come back to my apartment instead of staying where we were), but we still met up and ended up making out pretty intensely.

The problem is, about a week later, she got a boyfriend, and she seems adamant about that thing succeeding. Congratulations to her, but I still want to fuck that girl specifically. She's cute, but nowhere near the hottest I've hooked up with.

I've considered it's just her body type - incredibly short (like 4'11 or shorter), skinny with brown hair, and bright blue eyes, so I suppose I could just find another one of those. I have one sorta lined up, but I just don't think it will be the same.

The girl in question is fine continuing responding to me, and if she got single again, I'm sure we'd hook up. She's 19 so my -suspicion- is that the relationship will not last long, only 2-5 months.

My thoughts are just sending her a very explicit text (something we'd occasionally do), and follow that up by telling her I'm going to leave her alone for now - intense validation followed by an absolute vacuum. I think in the short term it would do nothing, but ensure that when she was single, I was one of the first men she got back in contact with - and allow me to not have to check up on her with any regularity.

Does that sound reasonable? Or am I just letting my desire to fuck a specific girl in this case cloud my judgment?

And note - obviously I'll still be fucking other girls during this time period. That's not even a question.

Silly. She knows you want her, and the intense interaction you speak of will be contrived and likely backfire leading you to your next post on her a week from now desperately asking others how you can re-engage with her because you want her so bad.

No, this one won't cut me out entirely unless I majorly, majorly fucked up. And if she does cut me out entirely, well, so it goes.

I'm not solidly disagreeing with you - but I don't think a heavily explicit text with an immediate cutting off communication would be bad. This girl is heavily, heavily, heavily into being validated. My guess is poor family life/daddy issues. At the very worst she wouldn't respond for a month until I sent her a "how are you doing" type text after a bit of absence.

If anything I'd think it would allow me to regain a bit of dignity with her knowing I want her, and her de facto rejecting me.

Basically a, "So everytime I see a girl that looks like you, I want to x, y, z, blah blah blah. That's not a workable situation right now, so while I want to keep in contact, I need to cut you out for now." - not in a sad whiny way, just a de facto, "Oh yeah, this is a mistake". It's hard to communicate exactly what I'm saying, and it may just be me rationalizing poor behavior. That's entirely a possibility - I'm not immune to that.


I've been thinking about it, and I think it's the short, brown hair and blue eyes combination with a very youthful face. I have a replacement (though her face isn't as cute, and her eyes are green, not blue), so that'll work in the meantime, but I'll probably just try to find another girl with those physical features.

She seems fascinated by the fact that I found a replacement her (who also goes to the same college), has agreed to come hang out and eat cookie dough at my place, though she has said she'd, "only be hanging out for cookie dough", but the vibe is flirty.

We'll see if I can wrap this up this week or next. I'd give it a 50-50 shot.

I get what you're trying to do with that text/message idea... I just don't really see it working like that.

I don't know how you two have been conversing... what she's like, level of maturity, etc (so maybe you're a better judge of your own situation?) - but to me, a text like that sounds a little childish (no offense). It's almost better to just fade away, but throw her a text every month or something... See if she's ditched the other guy, IMO.

The text at this point would be silly, considering she's already consenting (or said she will consent) to be in my presence alone. A girl is typically not as flirty over text and willing to meet up if she isn't at least open to the idea of hooking up.

My read of the girl's thoughts are basically this: "Well, I do sorta like this guy I'm hanging out with, but you wanted me enough to find an almost exact duplicate of me AND you were able to do it in just a couple of weeks (i.e. it just happened, you didn't try to make this happen) - this is a VERY interesting situation for me."

We'll see how it plays out. I'm going out with the duplicate tomorrow. I'll be sure to tell (matter-of-factly - important when trying to generate jealousy) the original about the situation.

An ideal situation would be to have them both in the same social venue, but I can't think of a way to make that happen. Or at least, I don't really feel like putting in the contrived effort to make it happen. They're just girls.