Has anyone ever heard of love shyness? It's an extreme shyness toward women. It's actually a very rare form of shyness. It's virtually impossible for a love shy man to approach a women for a date.

Here's a website that has most of an out of print book that you can read to learn more about this rare disorder:

http://www.angelfire.com/ab6/polepino/toc.html

I would really like it if you guys would at least read the introduction. Your opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Ehhh...... I think "love shyness" is just a nicer way of saying "utterly extreme social shyness." It seems to me that "love shyness" is just a repackaging of the same ideas, with a different name. After all, social shyness includes ALL types of social interactions, right?

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Its just another name for social shyness. Making it specific just causes more people to believe they suffer from it, and therefore make them think they need medication for it. Kinda like some other disorders doctors diagnose.

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How many people do you think suffer from this social/love shyness?

Leftytheking, you are correct this is just a worded form of extermly social shyness. Social shyness does cover all aspects of choosing to be socially inept. I also agree with 96, because this is just the begining step towards persuading people that they need some form of help. This introduction to me was trying to label it as a disease. The use of the phrase chronic shyness in particular insights that the novel is set out to show people whether or not they are beset by this "extereme affliction of shyness". The sad part of this is that PUA can clear this degree of social shyness. It has been proven time and again that guys who learn this shit have more fulfilled lives.

Kithan, to address your question as to a demographic of the number of people this stricken with social shyness. I would have to say that 1 of about 10 people are this way. The only reason I say this is because, in the average school classroom 20-25, there is at least 2 people who are this shy.

As a rule, I don't accept something as a legitimate disorder if it is not in the DSM-IV and is only found on an angelfire.com site.

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Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

I personally think there is a bit of a distinction between socially shy and love shy. It's believed that only about 1.5% of the male population are love shy. Women typically aren't included in this because they don't have to do the approaching. Most love shy men never have romantic involvements with women.

I think the problem is that this disorder is so rare, people have a hard time realizing it exists.

There is no way it is a disorder. A disorder is something that can only be controlled by medication. Any and all forms of shyness can be controlled. It just depends on the person, and the method they use to overcome their SS.

This is just untrue. There are numerous disorders that cannot be treated with medication, and there are a variety of disorders that can be controlled by methods other than medication. Many forms of therapy have been found to be effective on their own, though therapy is typically combined with medication as the benefits of each are enhanced in the combination.

Even if this was just some form of social anxiety, it would still be a disorder.

However, I'd like to see a more creditable source than some guy's webpage on angelfire.com.

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

Well, I'll admit that my defintion of disorder was wrong. However there just can't be anyway that you can have a disorder for being shy. You can completely overcome shy.

Well, this is where the messy question of what counts as a disorder comes in. Typically, something is classified as a disorder if it negatively impacts your life socially, emotionally, or economically.

Remember, everyone gets depressed from time to time, but depression that is pathological and disruptive is a disorder. Same with shyness--it is a spectrum. There are just some mildly shy people who can balls-up and get over it, but there are also some socially phobic people who are so overcome with terror at even the thought of being in a social situation that cannot walk out their door. Such behavior is clearly pathological, and can justly be labeled as a disorder. Then there is a broad swath of people that fall in between and you have to use the rather subjective gauge of "disruptive to life".

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

The angelfire page is just displaying chapters of an actual book that is no longer in print. The book was written by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin. Although the book was written about 20 years ago, I think it still has some interesting information about this extreme shyness.

Do any of you think there are guys on this forum who are/were love shy?

I think it's garbage. It's an excuse and something you shouldn't buy into, because if you do, you're gonna feel powerless to fix it, which you aren't. I have trouble sometimes, because I'm afraid of success, but it's not a dissorder, it's just something I deal with and that with effort I can get over. By just accepting the fact that you have a dissorder, then you are giving up before you have even begun.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

The simple fact is, if you are that terrified of interacting with other people and you accept this as a "disorder" then you are only defeating yourself. It all comes down to your frame. The people who would say this affects them haven't learned social interaction. Humans are social creatures. It is also very easy to overcome this, you just have to want to. Alot of people let their fear of interaction trap themselves. Its a choice.

So I suppose that major depressive disorder is also a load of bullshit, and we should just tell those guys to get over it. And the people who commit suicide are just pussies with an escapist complex.

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.