I'm an insecure guy that is beginning to love myself. I'm basically a guy that fakes it til I make it when it comes to confidence. I keep poker faces, don't wear my emotion on my sleeve and try to be mysterious by not giving or showing to much with the ladies....Anyways, so I went to a hookah lounge, this 8.5 or 9 kept ragging on me. At first I was shocked by how rude she was, then quickly masked it with a sigh and smile. I'm not sure if I responded right. A lot of the times I chuckled, smirked, brushed it off, ignored her. A few times I insulted her back. One time she called me a dumb ass, I replied simply with "you're a dumb ass"...another time she was singing and I made a comment how if she was on american idol she'd be the first one eliminated. What I found was that me talking to her back like that made things interesting. Problem is I was one foot in, one foot out when it came to the act of neg, tease, insult hard (OR) NOT. Sometimes I stayed quiet with out a come back, other times I fired back. Part of me feels I passed. Another part feels that had I done more tooling it would've worked in my favor, while THE OTHER PART of me feels maybe I reacted wrong if I want to spark attraction and ignoring her/brushing it off would have been the best thing to do. She definitely did more insulting then I did, but why could be a number of reasons. I feel it was either she liked me (best case scenario), I'm a push over and she felt she could walk all over me, OR, she just wanted me to chase her out of her own ego. This brings me to my question, is there a difference between a women disrespecting/insulting you and negging/teasing you? If so how can I tell the difference and whats the best way to respond to both?

Be non-reactive and just break rapport back if she is giving you an "attitude". It's hard to determine if she was being playful and teasing with you and you misinterpreted it as her insulting or if she was really trying to be rude with you based on your post. That's good that you laughed some of it off. You don't want to insult the girl even if she insults you. In fact, you have to be careful if you get in a breaking rapport battle because you can never "win". If you do 1 up her ever time, she will get upset that she lost while if you let her win, you will lose attraction. Best thing to do after a few breaks in rapport back in forth, is to reward her with something by saying something like, "Wow, I don't find too many people that can keep up with me! I like you, you're kind of like me in that you don't take shit from anyone" then give her a high five / fist bump and then transition to another topic and qualify her.

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How does one "be non-reactive"?

Non-reactive is probably the wrong word. As long as you stay calm and she knows you're not going to get mad when she tests you by insulting her, you'll be fine.

Got it! Thank you

Different PUAs have different styles, especially in response to situations such as these.

Sometimes it's fun to have a berating back-and-forth with a feisty girl. However, if you go that route, be sure to consciously build sexual tension at the same time.

It may be better in general, however, to do what's called a "pattern interrupt." That's fancy pickup slang that just means "do something that she wouldn't expect."

The way I would go about doing a pattern interrupt to a girl who was trying to rag on me like that would be to:
1. Be non-reactive as WillEdward suggested by immediately realizing that she's not actually insulting me. She's either trying to flirt with me or, worst case scenario, just trying to vent because she's had a bad day. Either way, the bad things she's saying is not really about me.
2. Since the negative shit she's saying isn't getting to me, I would also be visibly unfazed. My eye contact would subcommunicate that I can see past her bullshit.
3. I would then look for something good in her, something that I can admire, respect, or be turned on by, and I would give her a genuine compliment. I'd do this with a dominant voice tone and dominant body language.
4. I would watch as her negative frame crumble down right before my eyes as she starts blushing and acting confused.

Kill em with kindness