Well as the title says I'm a 31 year old introvert and I would say aside from my empty love life lately, I am pretty successful. I have a government job where I work a lot of hours and also train as a distance runner on the side. Have my own running club with my small circle of friends but we struggle to get new people out for that, especially available girls. I also have a small business on the side that I mess around with as well so I am somewhat busy of a guy. After I do all these things, I just like to go in isolation for hours and be alone without the world to bother me. I have had girlfriends in the past, was nearly engaged to a girl that I was in a 2 year relationship with about 3 years back and since then have had a lot of short flings and many empty dates from online dating. I have a hard time talking with people. I don't know what it is. Some people I'm comfortable with I can open up to, but it's hard. I was bullied a lot as a child and was an only child. I do the online dating thing and that gets increasingly frustrating. My confidence is shot with that. I can't get replies from girls locally and when I do, I'm getting shot down after a date by almost everyone. I've been so lonely and so empty that I've been even having gay thoughts. Like I'm not gay but I'll sit around sometimes and think about it. Like maybe that's my only option, and what if I was a girl. A girl with my qualities wouldn't have any problems getting laid or being in a relationship but as a guy, I'm fucked. I look weak and pathetic. Maybe I should lift weights and get big. But I enjoy being a distance runner. It's something that I love and I am in great shape, just not jacked in the areas girls want it. I hope I could work my way out of this, but this is so frustrating. Any advice?

1. You don't need to get jacked to attract girls. Definitely hit the gym, but do it for yourself, not for the girls!

2. Online dating sucks because it can also take away from your real-life application skill; the more you get used to the online dating culture, the more foreign real life approaching and dating culture can be to you.

3. It's easy to blame your introversion for your lack of social skills and social comfort, but it's not that simple. Even if you're more comfortable being by yourself hours at a time, you're still human and enjoy socialization from time to time even if it drains your energy (I know because I'm the same way). The only thing to blame is your lack of experience and lack of guidance.

4. Even if introversion indirectly gives you less time to practice socialization than extroverts, you can still have a highly accelerated learning curve if you concentrate your efforts in the right areas.

5. Introversion can also give you several advantages in seduction and, ironically, in socialization. For example, a common characteristic that introverts tend to share is that we are generally great listeners. There are many ways to utilize this natural advantage to seduce women as well as to get people to like you in general. People (extroverts) in the PUA community say that listening is dumb because you end up becoming an "emotional tampon," but introverts can use active listening pretty effectively to establish strong emotional connections if they stop worrying about making a good impression (like extroverts try to focus on with DHVs and all that shit) and focus more on genuinely listening!

Hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions about introversion and seduction.

Thanks for the advice. I may need to check your program out. I am also thinking I should see a psychologist or someone that can help me get my mind straight. Not looking for a psychiatrist that will try and prescribe me bullshit drugs but someone that I can talk to about some of my deeper person issues that could be related to my anxiety that I have in almost every social interaction(girls and guys) and perhaps give me a better feeling of comfort when approaching people. Basically I have a "me against the world" mentality where I feel like the person I'm interacting with is better than me and I'm not worthy of being in the conversation. That is why I don't even consider approaching a quality girl in public because in my head I get these crazy feelings that she's eons ahead of me, but the other part of my brain is like "wtf, you didn't talk to her you pussy"..

I'm a mess basically..

A positive step from there would be to instead adopt a student mentality of wanting to learn about and learn from whomever you're talking to so that you can have a chance to better yourself. Or at least get some perspective into their world.

"Me against the world" -> "Me learning from the world"

So, when you approach a woman, you do it from the frame of curiosity without having to interject with your own shit. Focus it all on finding out more about her.

That's one of the keys to being a seductive introvert.

31 isn't too old. I'd say it takes about two years of hard work to get pretty good at this. You'll probably date someone and get heart broken when you go all beta again and she drops you (seems to happen to a lot of guys, including me).

As long as you're in relatively good shape, and have a decent job, you can still pull 20 year olds at 40.

I'm 29 and I rarely date above 25. Girls are attracted to status, power and dominance more than they are a pretty boy face. I had a girl I doubt was over 20 telling me I "smelled good" and I had "an author's name" as I was buying something today (should have grabbed her damn number too, but I was soaking wet and I pussed out). Certain traits become natural - I dropped a DHV of "Oh, well that's good, considering I wrote a book once". "Wait, really??" "Well, it was just a children's book, doesn't really count". "Oh it so does!"

I made reality my bitch. Nothing gets a girl hotter. Internalize that idea. The more status and effect you have on the world, the more of a panty dropper you are.

Body language, escalation, abundance mentality, strong frame.

Build those into your core (these traits are also called "masculinity") and you'll be golden. If you DO get jacked, you'll open up a whole new class of girls, but you can probably get prettier than you expect. My first year and a half led to me being constantly surprised at the caliber of girls I could get interested in me - and I'm short and not muscular at all (or was, I've been lifting for a few months). You'll suddenly be afraid to commit to any one girl because, oh holy shit, you will probably be dating -a hotter one- next month. And for quite a while that's true.

At a certain point you'll plateau with that (once your game is solid), and then you have to actually up your true status in society and/or your physical shape to get higher quality girls.

it's never too late for anything, man. that's a fact buddy, especially since the invention of Viagra. Hot girls will hook up with guys 20 or 30 or even more years older than them (and vice versa, too). so definitely, you, at the very young age of 31, can go pick up early 20s or even late teens (legal age, of course;) dude you have at least 50 more good years ahead of you, don't give up so early.

see, if you are saying to yourself that you are too old at age 31, what's gonna happen a few years into the future? at age 32? 35? 40? i'll tell you exactly what will happen, you will say to yourself "hmm.. 36 is too old, but 31 wasn't. it was still possible when i were 31, i just missed my early 30s thinking i were too old - but i realize now that i were not. i made a mistake". but you can't turn back time!!

YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD

I didn't start getting good with women until 4 years ago and it's a constant learning process. I'm now 30. The way to look at it is you are most like going to live until you're over 90 with all the advances in science, possibly longer. So being 30 is not even a third of your lifetime.

Wouldn't you rather be happy and fuck lots of women for the next 60 years than settle for some fat old hag with another dude's kids who nags you constantly. Easy choice. It's a no-brainer.

Go get some pussy.

And if you look good you can slay it with younger girls

i should start this off with im also 31 and an introvert

the way you gotta see it is do you want to stay home stroking one out whilst watching the internet or do you want to be the guy on top of the girl?

if you see some guys at bootcamps or seminars the majority are in their 40's and 50's.
the question becomes do you want success with women or not?

some guys say they want success with women and when theyre told you need to talk and approach they say no or i cant. sadly if you need different results you need to do something different.

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I want to respond to this because I am 31 who used to be a major introvert.

Always dated successful, smart girls with good educations / careers. Pretty, but not super hot. Wound up in a LTR in my late 20s, and it ended badly. I also used to be introvert, but I actually totally changed that... that's a whole nother discussion though...

Now, I don't care any more about LTRs and pursue younger women. I literally won't date anyone over the age of 28. I figure when the right one comes, she will come... and she will be 4 - 8 years younger than I.

I am just learning game, and have had a ton of failures (I mean a *TON*) over the past 3 - 4 months, but I am happy to note that I slayed a 24-year former cheerleader for a major state school over the weekend. A month ago, I had another 22 year old cheerleader from a major state school. And I dated cheerleader for a pro team, with whom I hooked up, but didn't f-close because I screwed the pooch (totally my fault, I learned a lot from that failure). She was spectacular though. Not sure how I wind up with all these cheerleaders, but I am not complaining.

About 9 months ago, I decided to get in damned good shape. Now, I am not huge, but I am noticeably buff, even in a suit, at about 5'10" and a very lean 180. I also majorly upgraded my wardrobe (both casual and business), and I dress very well. I also worked really hard on improving my complexion and skin. Avocados (one a day), Burt's Bees night cream and day cream, I went to a dermatologist to kill off some acne I couldn't get rid of. Got a dark tan... lost my glasses and got contacts. All of this really matters... it will not get you the girl alone (well, sometimes it will, if you're good looking enough), but it is enormously helpful. I have a great career too... but honestly, that hasn't helped me land women at all!

Drop the long distance running thing and put on 20 pounds. I swim and play racket sports a ton for cardio workouts. Chicks dig thighs too, so don't skimp on the leg workouts. MAKE yourself better looking. Then just start practicing.

Point is, I am 31. At the age of 30, I was mediocre looking and in a LTR with a what I thought was an awesome girl, and I really never had tried to get chicks before. 8 months later, I still have a long ways to go, but I am a transformed man. Now, I believe I can pick up pretty much any woman. My main goal is to improve on 2nd / 3rd dates... but my friends are in awe at the women I meet... like I am "that guy" in my circles... even my boss has more respect for me because of it.

I 100% believe you can do the same bro!

1. Get better looking. Accept that this is important, take note of what you need to improve and make it happen. Takes time and sacrifice (mainly, money and time and putting on weight), but probably the easiest thing to do.

2. Start talking to girls. Everywhere. I talk to women every chance I get. Waitresses, in shops, retailers, at bars, on the street, at the beach, in coffee shops, at work, at baseball games, old women, young women, ugly women, hot women, fat women, skinny women... just talk to women, even if it just a "hi" and not necessarily someone you want.

3. Embrace failure. You will encounter a lot of it. Sometimes it is super painful... but generally, you should just shrug it off and move onto the next one.

4. Force yourself to be more outgoing. I joined political groups, charity groups and a sports club. I go to all my alumni events. I go to lots of business networking stuff. Etc. Etc. Reach out to people and build a strong social network outside of your normal crew.

That's what worked for me, anyhow... honestly, beyond pick up, I am so much happier with myself.

It's good to see guys noadats, even after 30, stll willing to put their effors into learning game.
This is a really wonderful attitude and fantastic thing, for both of the men & women.

Keep up your good work, guys!

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I'm mid-thirties.

Got into this stuff in my 20s, then was in some LTRs so fell out of it. Got back in, fell out, etc...

I'm still able to execute fairly well, despite the fact this post made me feel like a senior citizen - though I'm seeing someone again, so I haven't in been aggressively into it for a few months.

Age is pretty irrelevant with this stuff as long as you take care of yourself and put in some effort.

Previous poster is correct (Pikeman) - takes a couple yrs to really get decent. The first 6 mos to a year is just approach anxiety and learning not to care about rejection. You have to fail a lot to figure out what works and what doesn't...

Good luck!

I've heard from close people that 30s is the best age for getting girls. I have a lot of friends who are over 30 who get laid every night, but let's put that aside now and discuss your main problem.

You have status, you have an athletic body (physical looks), you still need the charisma.

Work on strengthening your inner game. Don't do online dating, it limits your abilities to interact and decreases your chances of actually meeting the girls. Go out and get to know some girls, do it and fail, that is how you learn. Go out with the purpose of failing and try your best to hold conversations with strangers. Soon you'll realize that you're getting better at it, and you'll start developing experience from there.

its never too late to change-

you would probably be thinking the same thing at 21 by my guess

the key is to start NOWWW and stop putting it off

the best time time to start is 5 months ago, second best is today, worst time is tomorrow

startt nowww

watch anthony robbins on youtube on procrastination

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TBH not sure id be wanting to do this much last my mid 30s... But at 31? Dude nowhere nearly too late. Crazy talk to think that is too late.