Do you know who you are? This isn't a rhetorical question. Are you a guy who's self-image is externally derived? You likely are if you are on this board; you adjust yourself to how you think other's perceive you and are therefore obsessed with gaining other people's approval. You want women to like you so much that like the chameleon you're willing to be whatever person you think she wants, but guess what...what you perceive her to want in that moment changes to the next. Damn, now what do you do? You're chronically seeking validation from external sources, this makes you weak, your entire sense of self is pretty much predicated on what you believe others think of you. Compliments, insults, it doesn't matter they're all externally derived, your reference points are all external and therefore your state is always going to be context dependent.

That's how the vast majority of people navigate through the world. They're 'victims' of their environment. The guy who takes to pickup to learn a bunch of techniques and routines to pickup women that they share with their fellow geek PUAs will not make you a better person, and guess what they won't make you better with women. Most anyone can get laid, you can apply your little algorithms to get a false sense of confidence and when those algorithms no longer work, or you get into a LTR (by luck) and it fails (as it likely will at some point) you'll frantically take to sites like this to 're-learn' these techniques and routines ("Just gotta out a LTR, rusty with PU").

Come on, you know I'm talking to you.


Eventually most guys will hit a wall with PU. Either continue with limited success or actually put the work in and become a better man. Really, that's what having an attractive lifestyle is all about.

How are you going to do this though? Know thyself. By this I mean build an awareness of your body. What goes on inside of it. What is YOUR experience? Not just surface feelings and their associated sensations, but deeper, what's behind those feelings. Basically the blood and guts of what makes you YOU. This can be a lengthy process, but the dividends are HUGE. Get in touch with your values, how you truly FEEL about them; are they worth revising, or doing away altogether? Think about it, the guy with a solid sense of self is RESPONSIVE to all things in his environment. The environment does not dictate his being, he can go into a room of strangers and not worry bout being accepted by any one of them. This is distinguishes from the guy who has a shaky sense of self and is REACTIVE to his surroundings. He walks into that same room, anxious, on edge, fearful of what others may think as at his core he feels like nothing/irrelevent without the acceptance of others. He puts a lot into social interactions, often feels exhausted because he's trying so hard to be liked by everyone, at all times (poor bastard). Somebody rejects him, he takes it to heart. Somebody accepts him, he feels ontop of the world (for that moment, which is fleeting). So ask yourself which guy you'd rather be.

Really guys, the effort you put into being all you can be (for YOUR sake, not anybody else's) the sooner you'll be living a life in abundance (not just abundance with women, but all things inside and out).

I thought this was a really cool article on getting to know one's self
http://malavikasuresh.wordpress.com/201 ... e-of-self/

Nothing like stating the obvious! but in the mean time we have "Pick up Artist Techniques and Tactics"

Maybe your right . Who's to say. I do know though that I have come on here to seek guidance . I as an individual will take the guidance as a grain of salt and will really only put what I see and think works best FOR ME.

All your talking about is speculation and you really don't know what your saying. Yes I agree that we should be the better man and take control of our lives. Blah blah blah but is that really possible with all the things already influences our fragile minds . Society dictates what we do how we react and how we think. That is no different then what your saying but it's all done subconsciously . If anything whether the person is being fake or not he's making conscious decisions in order to reach a goal. And in this case on the pua forums it's getting laid.

Side note I liked that article and I would suggest everyone to go read it

None of it is speculation. If you have a weak sense of self you'll simply rely on techniques and routines, and 'acting' alpha rather than creating any meaningful change in your life.

It begins from knowing who you are, most of the guys here have no clue so they react from event to event, not realizing they're in a completely unconscious state driven by egoic forces. While we are socially construed beings, a healthy sense of self is something that is static within, it's being anchored, or grounded from within, not looking beyond to fill some false sense of lack that can only be filled with things (e.g., goods, services, and other people) society has convinced you exists.

If it was "obvious" you wouldn't have issues with women. Needless to say, your statement in itself indicates your shallow understanding of what it takes to be a grounded, balanced person.

A lot of the guys here want the quick fix, we live in a society where we succumb to our impulses (egosyntonic) that's why a lot of narcissistic behaviors are on the rise (and are being reinforced) and there is so much disharmony within. No meaningful change can occur within some sort of an internal shift towards authenticity, but instead most people would rather build a facade using tricks and techniques. This is not change, this is not empowering but actually quite the opposite. Some of you will realize this later down the road when you hit that realization that you are no better off (fulfilled) than when you started on this so-called journey.

You have no real data to prove your right. Although I do agree with you to a certain extent .

People coming to these forums aren't just learning about becoming a PUA, they are learning how to be a better person. It all flows down that path. At least that is what I have gotten from these forums since joining

No need to prove something with data, if I know it experientially.

What my statement is saying is that not every man on here is on a long journey to enlightenment...some guys just wanna get laid and have fun!

And what your saying is not new to most people, Obviously everyone is trying to be more grounded and balanced and I for one am certainly not perfect either.

A lot of PUA runs counter to building a strong sense of self, and being grounded as most of it is ego based. That's the point. Nothing to do with wanting to get laid and have fun, that's just an ends to a means.

personally i see it as having fun and getting laid.

i question the fact of why you are on here tbh. seems like you have the biggest ego here.

peoples lives don't change over night, its a long process. you have people coming here for inspiration, idea's, questions, and advice. the only reason why i see that your here is to bash on all the inspiration, idea's, questions, and advice that is given on this site.

it seems to me that all you want to do is ruin what people come here to do in the first place.
your OP was extremely negative and it targeted this whole forum community as a whole instead of talking with each individual positively.

It doesn't work like that. Sorry.

Being attractive isn't something that you "do." You have to actually be attractive.

Your response to my thread is egoic, by very nature. Nowhere did I state that building a strong sense of self was a quick fix. The reality building a strong sense of self takes time, and devotion - far more than learning a toolset of skills and techniques that don't ever address the underlying issue of one not knowing who they truly are.

You're stating that my comments are negative, which are more your own projections than anything else, which ironically are driven from ego energy.

"Having fun and getting laid" are not insights. They do not explain what's driving you nor the experience. In other words those reasons are indicative of somebody who is operating in a purely unconscious way. The conscious person would have an awareness of WHY they do what they do, and how it affects them, the unconscious person just does things for the sake of doing things - constantly operating through the fog of unconsciousness always in a reactive state.

This^^

Its the difference between BEING and DOING. People who peacock to demonstrate to the world that they're attractive generally live life through a scarcity framework, whereas those who work towards feeding their soul, truly becoming better people for themselves, not anybody else around them tend to live life through abundance.


Jim Carey actually had an amazing commencement address this year on this very thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V80-gPkpH6M

I strongly urge you guys to take a look, he certainly does have some wise words to share, and life lessons to impart.