Just starting to learn on PUA, so please bare with the rookie...

Target had two cheating ex-boyfriends and an abusing one. She is constantly saying that there are no good man left in the world and that all men are jerks.

First, how would you act? I usually go with stuff like "if you say so" or "someday I'll prove you wrong". I mean, I'm not going to agree with her, but I am also not going to give some needy beta reply, like "no, i'm dfferent". What is the right way to respond to this?

Second, she complains she can't find a decent guy, how do i say "you never gave me a chance to be that guy" without sounding needy?

You can't react to those statements.

Don't think you'll be a knight in shining armor to her. If she's constantly dating assholes - then she likes assholes (as much as she thinks she doesn't).

Drink with her on a patio, kino and kiss her.

Kissing a girl is pretty unambiguous. She'll know what your intentions are and you won't look like a beta tool talking about how different you are.

She doesn't want different.

She wants a douchebag.

Disregard what she says, for how she acts.

I would react by saying "that's not true", because it isn't. I would continue with something like "there are lots of good guys, but maybe you are attracted to douchebags? if you are, you can only blame yourself". And if I want to give her a subconscious suggestion I would say "maybe one day he will be standing right in front of you, without you knowing it".

No, this is too obvious, and very weak.

She isn't attracted to "nice guys", or "good guys" (in her view, "doormats"). This we know.

Telling her, "Well, maaaaaaybe you can find a guy right in front of you who will respect you (by that, I mean MEEEEEEEEEEEE regardless of your current attraction level towards me!)" only makes you come off as self-serving and deceitful, and not really interested in her at all.

It basically says to her, "I'm a douchebag just like those other guys, except I don't have the balls to fuck you!", when you actually want to say, "I'll fuck the shit out of you, and still call you afterwards. If you're good."


To demonstrate my point:

I once met up with a girl I had been pinging for a few months off and on after getting her number/fb off a dating site (NB: don't invest this much effort in one girl. But I was still new. She also turned out to be not as attractive in person ). She invited me to a bar, and she had two orbiters there - I think she expected me to become an orbiter too.

She complained about men, and her two orbiters fawned over her. I did not. I interacted with other patrons, occasionally jumping in to crack jokes when it added value, but I was mostly silent, doing my own thing. One of the two orbiters said something like, "Well maybe you would have more luck if you looked at a guy right under your nose." He looked pointedly at her, very obviously suggesting he meant himself.

At which point I started LAUGHING really, really loudly.

It is the most utterly beta move ever.

It's basically saying, "Woman, you have the agency in this situation, not me. You lead, not me. You choose, not me. I am merely here for your happiness and serve at your pleasure."


Fuck that attitude.

She's attracted to "douchebags" (i.e., confident guys with options), as is every other girl.

Be that guy, or be irrelevant to her sex life.

Well, that's the point. Showing I'm not a douche without being a needy beta. And still mantaining control. It's a fine line.

She is attracted to douchebags. Be a douchebag or she will not be attracted to you.

I don't think I can be clearer than this.

She has made her preferences known. You're trying to fit what you feel she should be attracted to into her current mold.

She isn't attracted to, "sorta douchebags".

Use her, and then if you like her still, call her back.

That giving her a call back is the only "non-douchey" thing you should be doing, and only if you still like her, and she's more worthwhile than the other girls you're fucking.

It seems like you think you can, "show her you're different", or "fix her".

You can't, and you won't.

She's attracted to what she is attracted to, the same as you are. You aren't rescuing her from some fire-breathing dragon.

You want to fuck her.

So fuck her. And if she isn't up to your standards, kick her to the curb. That's what she craves in a man. Now be that man, or go after easier targets.

She's attracted to the emotional rollercoaster which douche bags give her, when they put her down (emotionally) then bring her back up again she gets the "reward" which is all the way sweeter.

I'm giving the rollercoaster a go. I'm not going to be a douchebag. If she does not like me for who I am, fuck her.

Thank you all

She sounds like she has a lot of like emotional baggage. IDK if its worth it. When women are in those modes, lets just say I am glad i am a woman. If you did something like, well you didn't give me a chance type of thing, she would probably think it is a joke. It kind of sounds like she friend zoned you. Have you tried to ask her out?
-Lindsay

Yes. She was very, very, very reluctant at first. Now we sometimes hang out but havnt been on a proper date, only outdoor activities, concerts and such. Although we go alone it is not realy a date.

Ok, good luck with your hand, and getting other women in general. Doing the rollercoaster requires you to be something of a "douche" FYI.

If she doesn't like who you are, and other girls don't either, it doesn't mean, "fuck her" it means, "You need to change, because what you are isn't attractive".

Why not simply give up on this one? It sounds like she'll never think you're man enough for her.

I also think you should give up. She isn't in a good place that would allow you to get what you want. This one might take a while and still hate all men.
-Lindsay