Hey, guys. I'll try to keep it as short as possible:

When I first got into game, my first attempt was with a coworker. We instantly clicked when we met (what you would call "chemistry") and I believe there may have been some attraction. I escalated pretty damn well but got insecure, stoped, and things died out.

At work we are always with each other and people talk about an office romance (although nothing happened between us). I tried going out with her a couple more times, invited her to some stuff and she has always stood me up.

Now she went on dates with some dude. Only a couple dates over the last month, I think. He lives some 40 miles away and I don't know details. But now this girl wants to hang out with me all the time all of a sudden. My escalations went good so far (no k-close or f-close yet).

But still, why would she flake and then constantly call me to hang out?

She likes the attention you give her.

She's probably also using you as a pivot, sort of like a lot of members here do with girls. It's a great idea when you're casually dating - keep 10 people on the hook... and when one of them stops paying attention to you, move onto another and go cold on the first.

LJBF, the quiet desperation ...
She no longer sees you as fuck material, more as a gal pal who supplicates her attention needs, while she goes elsewhere to seek Alpha cock.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Run, dont walk away from this situation. Most likely outcome = sexual harassment complaint against you.

I agree she probably enjoys the attention, but not that into you anymore and also probably doesn't want to screw around with a coworker. She could also really be into this new guy too. It really doesn't matter though, does it? You already pretty much know what you did wrong - you didn't act on it in the heat of the moment, when she was probably willing to overlook any objections about you being a coworker.

So wondering so much about it though could make her keep flaking too-women can pick up that stuff usually haha

I have a low tolerance for flakes. If you flake on me once, ok, you MIGHT have a good excuse. Twice? You don't get any more chances. My time is valuable, and I'm not wasting any more time wondering why. That kind of attitude usually gets them coming back, but at that point you will probably actually not care anymore anyways.

Thank you all for the replies.

I still want to try to turn it around. The way I see it, the fact that all of a sudden SHE wants to hang out with me and seeks my attention kind of gives me the upper hand. And if she did have some interest at first, it's a hell of a lot easier to reignite it than if she had no interest to start with.

Kino escalating every chance I get is pretty much common sense, and so far went good.

Other than that, I think there are two ways I can go about this: Go out when she calls me, and make sure she has more fun with me than with the other guy. OR flake, pretend I lost interest and turn the game around, kinda like "if you did not want me back then I do not want you now"

What would you do?

Hey French,

You have to understand that women have attention appetites. Its almost like when you get hungry, you get some food and then you eat. Now if you got hungry and was never able to get any food, you would remain hungry and continue looking for the food.


So when she randomly asking you to hang out; she is just looking for you to give her attention by accepting her offer. The moment you accept, her attentional appetite has fed. There is no need to continue eating if you are already full right?

She's treating you like this because she feels like she is your only option. And since she is your only option, the moment she asks you to hang out you give her ALL of your attention, because there is no one else you are currently giving your attention to. So she's instantly fed. Men with more options or men that can do or do without women don't give all their attention away at the thought of hanging out with a girl. If she wants all of his attention she is going to actually hang out with him. For some men, she won't get all of his attention unless she has sex with men.

So what you have to do is expand her attentional appetite for you by reducing the amount of attention you are currently giving her.

Next time she texts you asking to hang out.. Just ignore it. She'll feel a shift and start to try a bit harder. Thats step 1 though.. There has to be a constant practice of you giving and withdrawing you attention until you're in a position that makes you comfortable in the relationship.

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Escalate and fuck her. If she doesn't give up her pussy during the hangout, cut your losses and move on.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

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