Hi PUA Forum

I'm hoping you can help me. Me and my girlfriend have broken up 1 year ago. She was my first real girlfriend I fell in love with and I needed about 8 months to recover. Right now I don't want her back, I dont see her anymore and we never speak anymore, but somehow I keep thinking of her. I've also dated a couple of other woman, but I didn't like dating.

Every time I have a conversation with a woman I feel like getting out, because I'm not having fun with it. Dates are boring and I never end up with closing anything. Not because I can't, but because I don't make the move. After a boring date I'm not gonna ask for a second date. Thats usually the end. But I'm starting to think that there's something wrong with me. Why are ALL of my dates boring? Why are all of my conversations with new woman boring? Why do I want to be alone every time I'm with a woman?

I WANT to find a girl to have a good relationship with, I want to find the perfect girl, but I just can't have fun while dating/talking to woman. Have you guys got any tips?

Thanks in advance.

Seems like you're comparing everybody to your ex

Time is the only thing you have. Keep dating, maybe you will land a girl 10x better than your ex

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Yeah, get out the "she was the one" mindset. I was with the same woman for 8 years, it's tough not to compare. Don't look for "as good as or better", look for "different but makes me feel as good or better".

I can kind of relate to what you guys say. Is there anything I can do to help myself getting out of that mindset?

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hey

I never had problems with comparing ppl, because Everyone is different from anotherone, so i cant talk from my experience. But maybe it would help that u try to find good in girls u r meeting, maybe they hide something that could be exciting, you need to move on. She was not best you will ever had, you will meet even better-one if u will give girls a chance and find out more about them.
and btw, maybe u r looking for better girl on wrong places and that can be the reason they r not so interesting, maybe u should try something new.

I wish u good luck with finding some excitement in girls

Hey mate I've been there its a shitty feeling you feel like you'll never meet another girl that could compare to her. Like the other poster's said you gotta stop comparing even though its easier said than done what I did when I was in this situation is as soon as I thought about her I'd literally force the thought out of my head. Another thing I'll recomend is if you haven't seen it already watch the movie Yes Man with Jim Carey it may sound stupid, but when I was tore up with oneitis I watched that movie and it snapped me out of it and I got back to my old self its true you find inspiration in strange places. If you can snap yourself out of this funk then I'm sure you'll have fun with women and on dates. You just need to get out of your mental funk.
Anyway hope that helps good luck!!

Thanks guys, appreciate the replies. I guess I'll keep on dating and try to change my mindset !

The problem is you. Sorry. If you have a couple hours to sit and enjoy the company of a pretty girl, and you are bored, you need to get your head in the game. If you sitting there thinking if this chick will someday co-sign your house payments or some shit she is going to be really bored, not engaged, and so will you. Why will a girl light up and show herself and capture your heart if you don't care enough to sit and enjoy the interaction for what it is? Paradoxically, talking to girls is both the simplest and greatest joy in life. But takes place in the present. So if your mind isn't there, you miss out.

Meditation is how to train your focus and learn to pay attention to where and when you are.

Rsdtyler has a into to meditation vid on YouTube. The answer to your problem is there.