I've been seeing this girl for a few months whilst at college and we're currently on vacation so wont be seeing each other for a month although we agreed we could keep in contact as much as possible. The first few days of vacation went pretty well and we were speaking via facetime and texting regularly. However the past few days I've been feeling some loss in interest in her part... Taking hours to reply to texts when I can see she's on her phone through facebook.
Yesterday i messaged her and she didnt reply for 5 hours, and thenwhen i replied to her she didnt reply to the following day. I messaged her this morning and I have not had a reply all day although as I said earlier, i can see she's on her phone as it appears on my facebook homepage the last time she was active ( as she's in the top people I message ).

My question is, how do i play this one? We get along really well in person and I like her alot, but I can see her interest is fading. She will probably reply tomorrow with some BS excuse... Do i call her out on her ignoring my message??? Or do i go cold and ignore her reply???

Any advice is greatly appreciated guys. Thanks

Don't contact her. Wait until she reaches out to you, then suggest meeting up. If she flakes repeat the same until she up for a meet up.

Sorry I didn't specify we're on vacation so in completely different parts of the country so wont be able to meet until we go back to college in 4 weeks

ok, well it's simple. You are texting her too much and trying to keep the relationship going via text on a daily basis but this won't work as she'll get bored.

She needs to wonder about you, think about what you're up to. Always wait until she reaches out to you then keep it short. If you don't hear from her in a week then send her a short text but it will do you and your level of attractiveness no harm at all if you let her come to you always. I f you can go for 10 days then the strength comes back to you and she'll reach out to you if she still has interest in you, if she doesn't then,,well she's not that into you I'm afraid.

When it gets near to end of the holidays and she reaches out to you - set a date

p.s Never go cold on her and ignore her and never call her out in this case..

Awesome advice man i see where you're coming from. I think that first sentence sums it up a lot. I'm trying to keep it going with meaningless chit-chat which doesn do favours for my attractiveness or value.
So when her reply comes tomorrow/ in the next few days should I continue in conversation or give a short reply then aswell?

When her reply comes in just be cool, ask how she is and be pleasant back, don't show any attitude or go too cold otherwise she'll suspect something. Go with the flow if she is responding well but a good rule is to always wait . Don't be too keen responding to her. Wait until she replies to your text before sending another and never double text her. Try to get out early rather than too late so that she's left wanting more or not bored. Say you got to go all of a sudden, it'll work a treat. Then wait for her to reach out to you even if you think you're gonna lose her. You won't, she will text you eventually if she likes you. If she calls you up on it just say you've been thinking about her but really busy....then ask her about her day or something.


I also have a long distance thing going on with one girl and I was totally over-texting her as I was so into her and she was getting less and less keen, almost indifferent. So i had to force myself not to initiate contact and 3 weeks went by and I thought , 'well at least i know she's not that into me' then out of the blue she texts and we had a great chat, then I left it and another 2 weeks go by and she reaches out to me and suggests a holiday together! then last sunday she texts again saying she is planning to come to visit me in May and I haven't done anything apart from stay cool and let her come to me...

Thanks again man sounds like some great advice. Gonna go with this approach from now

cool, glad to be able to assist.

Let me know how it goes....

UPDATE****

Its been going a lot better, she's been intiating contact most of the time.
Shes asked me some nights if im free to facetime the following evening, it's happened about 3/4 times. When i say i will be free, she flakes the following day and says shes busy (potentially she is) and one time she facebook messaged me saying she just got in and was tired so wont be able to facetime.

She messaged me today some general shit saying her family are buying a new dog, and i replied within a few hours some stupid shit like oh cool what breed is it etc. ( a bit afc, i know )

Anyway now she hasn't replied again and it's been about 9 hours and ive notices shes been on facebook.

Anyone have any idea what this girl is playing at, and what i should do next?

Well allowing her to initiate and her only is a good start and starting to pay off but you are still too available for her and she is aware of it. Now you have to take it to the next level and not be so ready to face time. Be unavailable, make her miss you but don't ignore her just don't be the one suggesting time slots for face time, let her initiate contact, suggest FaceTime and not when is just good for her, hell why not flake on her for once?

Remember 'the one who cares the least about the relationship has the most control.....'


If you text a reply to her try not to ask a question as it leaves you vulnerable and needy, checking your phone for 9 hours to see if she's replied. What would have been better is to say something like, 'cool, sounds like fun, i love dogs' or something like that . Then you're replying but not investing too much into it, feels a lot better...


She has to get to the stage of wondering what the hell you are up to and best of all to get to a stage where she worries she might lose you then you'll see her chasing you more. If she doesn't then you'll know she's not that interested and you'll protect yourself...

I got news for you buddy. This is not an LTR. You've been banging her for only a few months.

What you should do is time how long it takes for her to message you. Then you simply wait exactly that amount of time before messaging her back. If she takes 3 hours, wait 3 hours before you reply. If she takes a day, you should wait a day. If she ignores you, ignore her back.

Waiting for her to initiate contact is meaningless if you always reply straight back.

I'm not sure it's an exact science though and what you suggest is ok to a certain extent but if she takes 3 days to reply and then you do the same she's gonna realise you're annoyed and playing games seeing as it's a bit of a u turn to how you normally reply. It's about drawing a line and setting the right frame. If she takes a day to reply it's more important to reply without showing her you're affected. Sometimes getting back to a girl still appearing relaxed and centred. Making her wait a whole day or over night is enough to get her chasing especially if you leave it always for her to initiate contact 90% of the time

Obviously I didn't mean set your watch to exactly 3 hours.

If she waits 3 days to reply, why the fuck should I reply straight back when she made me wait? This is why guys are getting tooled by bitches. You play straight into their hands and give them all the power.

There's nothing more powerful than being prepared to walk away.

Agreed , being prepared to walk away is a very powerful if not the best response