It's been a year since I broke up with my ex. We've tried being friends but that eventually just didn't work out, so we decided to stop talking with each other. I blocked her facebook and deleted her number and made it literally impossible (without asking a friend) to get in touch with her again. Shortly after we went cold turkey I moved to another city. Not because of her, but because of my career. This was fortunate, because even if I wanted to, I just couldn't go out to the pubs me and her liked. The only ''contact'' we still have is a couple of mutual friends who sometimes mention her during conversations.

I have reasons I don't want to get back with her. I screwed up but so did she. Even if we would start dating again (which we tried once) things just wouldn't be so colorful as a new relationship would be. I need something fresh, and she is just too messed up for me. I DO still have feelings for her, but that's just because I really loved her once, and that will probably never change.

However, I still have some issues with dealing with it. Usually 5 to 7 times a week, I get a period where I feel alone, abandoned and I wish things were still the same. I feel jealous about her current boyfriend and I'm convinced that I could be so much better for her than he is. I also feel pissed about everything that's happened and the whole situation is just messed up. I want to permanently close this part of my life, but somehow I can't manage to do it.

I have dated other people, but without success so far. I just can't find the girl I like and usually after 1 or 2 dates I decide that she just isn't the person for me and then I feel bad again, because ''I once had a girl I really liked''. I keep comparing them to my ex, and somehow they just never seem to be an improvement.

So now my question. Like I said; I broke off ALL contact with her and the chances of me bumping into her are slim. I have dated other people and I'm confident about the way I live. I don't need nor want my ex back but I just can't stop thinking about her daily. What more can I do to close this part of my life? All tips and advises are appreciated.

Regards

Your almost there, you've reached the most important stage!

Acceptance

This is the phase in which we are able to make peace with the loss. It doesn't always come on suddenly; it often happens gradually, little bit by little bit.

It takes time, it's hard. There is almost certain to be that lingering sadness for a time.

Pat yourself on the back, for making the right decision for YOU.

GFTOW. That ALWAYS helps.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So basicly there's nothing I can do exept GFTOW and wait?

Thanks, hope you're right!

It's better than smoking a ton of weed, or drinking your life into the toilet.!
Two other popular methods.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

well there is a way, easy one.
the problem isn't that you can't forget her, the problem is that something or someone reminds you of her, and i bet it's you.
you see that's the way our brain functioning, through reminders or recalls, we look at the image of the pope and it reminds us of god, for some people god connects to safety and trust for some not, same as we look at the photo of our mothers and it's connects (reminds) of the feeling we got for her, if she is alive we feel fine if she is dead we feel bad, just like when we look at the photo of our exs, the brain recall feelings, it reminds you we can't get them, and we start feel bad.
it doesn't have to be only photo it can be everything that reminds you of her.
i assume at the period you mentioned (5-7 weeks when you feel alone) you are doing, something thats reminds your brain her, its something that triggers the thinking about her, a photo on your cellphone screen or on the wall or in facebook, a clip or something else, just thinking about her its sub-program of something else, something must trigger the thinking.
solution? simple, remove the reminders.

I dont think there are any triggers. The times when i feel bad happen randomly. Sometime at work, sometimes while watching a movie, sometimes in the train. The only thing thats the same in those situations is the fact that i am alone. So if thats the trigger there isnt much i can do about it because being alone at moments is part of everyday life. But thanks for your message!

does happens every time you are alone? i don't think so, there is something else, next time try to figure out what triggers it.
you are welcome.

~Vlad

hmm, something like this kinda happened to me. i was fucked up for like 3 years. i think its because, at some point, if for just moment, i did love her, and that was the best thing ever, and now its gone.

i don't know if you can move on from being in love with someone. because even though your thoughts of them are painful, at least they include some love, and you would rather keep thinking them then not. let's talk about your dating life, what kind of guy are you and what kind of women do you like?

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staaahp.com

Sorry for the late reply, I had a very busy week.

The problem is that I just can't lay a finger on whats happening to me right now. You are correct that there is a part of me that still want to hold on to those thoughts. That part of me keeps hoping to reconcile with her, even though that's not possible. She is diagnosed with psychologial disorders that make her not trustworthy. She can go from totally in love to scared of that same person over 1 night. It's insane, and I've experienced it first hand. That's the reason I don't even WANT to reconcile, but emotionally I can't let go.

Now for you're question, I'm a calm guy but I like to go out and I enjoy electronic music parties and enjoy the music itself. I also like calm girls, girls that are kind of ''attached'' in a relationship.

well, the girl i was in love with, her family is religious and she wanted me to join but i'm just not okay with that. but yeah, it's real bad being broken hearted, you're like in a different twisted dimension with no point of reference. the only reason, i'm "okay" maybe right now is because i met someone new, that i like just as much. and that's pretty rare cuz i can kinda say i've only been in love with 2 people in my life. so in my experience that appears to be the "solution"?

now, obviously, we're on a pick-up artist forum, so i assume you use some "techniques?" in my experience, they do sometimes work, but usually on women with personality issues, like weird insecurities about not being liked by everyone, so you kinda keep pushing on that insecurity, and they'll do stuff to make you like them. sounds kinda ridiculous when its explained this way, and yeah it is kinda, cuz most women aren't like this. but some physically attractive women are this way. also, you gotta be a little, let's say, "self-confident" in order to handle the rejection.

if you want to be in love again (no guarantee it will happen again, i mean, this is life, it kinda sucks), wouldn't u want someone who is, obviously pretty hot, but flawed, like u, me, and everyone else, but just okay to just sit there in her flaws - maybe, next to you?

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staaahp.com

it's is the solution and always was.

^ this is normal and is part of onitis and break ups, need to date other women and let time pass. You made a mistake keeping friends for so long. You can become friends after the grief/onitis is over not before.

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Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
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Right, thanks for all the replies, it helped!

Watch this video is long but worth it, based video on onitis and break ups ever, and i am not an rsd fan:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNovswAlmio

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

Thanks for the video. I can relate to some of the things he talks about.

However, I have another question in this situation I'm unsure about. Like I said we have a couple of mutual friends, but in the past few weeks she's been inviting all of them over, exept me. That doesn't really bother me because if she would invite me I would decline, but the problem is that I'm kind of getting jealous because she's spending time with friends and therefore I cannot spend time with them. Any idea on how to handle this? I'm kind of afraid that those friends will start liking her more.. even though I knew them way longer than her.