So there's this girl I've been talking to for about two months. We know each other really well, despite the fact that we're in different countries. We never hooked up because of the distance and we've never prevented each other from seeing other people. I've got strong feelings for her, but still been able to play it cool and not convey an AFC attitude towards her.
This past weekend, she called me and said she just got a bf. But she said it doesn't mean her feelings for me have chanced. I suspect (10% chance of) a shit test or loneliness in her part. She will be coming back in 6 mos, which will make her new relationship long distance and will probably cause her to be single again. My question is, how should I play this twist of events. I've tried not to let it get to me, but the truth is I really am a little hurt about this. When she first told me, I said not to worry and that I was ok with it and happy for her. Should I keep playing it cool and act unaffected to better my chances when she comes back or should I tell her how I feel. Before she hooked up, we talked about me going out there for a week and coming back with her. She said I shouldn't cancel the trip because we're still friends. Should I cancel it or go anyway and sarge my ass off on front of her to make her jealous?? I'm not going to let this make me unhappy, but I would like to hook up with her when she comes back. Should I just move on??? Thanks in advanced.

I have been in a very serious long distance relationship and just wanted to tell you that it isnt really worth all the b.s. you are put through...

My advice would be to try to find a local chick and just stay cool with this girl and keep that as an open opportunity... dont fall into one-itus with this girl or else you will find yourself having many lonely nights.

jdogg has it right. I have been through one too many long distance relationships. It sucks because you are putting yourself through a bunch of silly jelous and hurt emotions for someone you can't even see or touch. I understand you have feelings for the chick. The best thing you can do is slowly let go of her. Don't talk to her that much, don't return every text/call/email asap. Instead just go out, meet some other girls, and still keep your plans. Stay busy, its the best way to keep your mind off of a girl.

When you see her, don't be a dick, don't sarge infront or her because then she will just think your just another asshole. All the time and emotions you two put into the long distance thing will be for nothing. Just understand that right now is not the time that you two were meant to be together, and if you want a future with this girl you have to be patient.

Good advice from both. I don't necessarily want a long distance relationship and I do understand that we both agreed to be free, so I understand the situation. It's difficult to just forget about this girl because we've been friends for too long. But I guess that's a risk you take when you decide to leave the LJBF zone.

You guys are right, I definitely wont let myself worry about this too much. At least until we're in the same state. I'm still wondering though, if I do decide to take the trip and she's still going out with the guy.... I won't be an a-hole to her and would resist making any moves on her until/unless she does. But we will probably go out to bars or clubs together. In this case, is it appropriate for me to sarge?? I mean, she is taken and I can easily use her presence (since she's an HB9ish) to pick up others. Should I not take the trip at all? Keep in mind that she isn't the only reason I wanted to take the trip. I've always wanted to take the trip anyway and she was more of a bonus for me to take it. Thanks.

I too have made the fatal long distance relationship error. It's a nightmare, definitely not worth it. Don't get one-itis, there should be plenty of local trim. If you like her as a person, keep her as a friend, It's always good to have some out of town contacts. But don't get hung up on a girl in another country having a boyfriend, 'cause you're only hurting yourself.

If she is still seeing that guy when you go out there than i would sarge while your out. I should havde explained not to sarge in front of her out of spite. Don't just try and rub it in her face. But your not attached to her. Since you are both good friends use her as a pivot and maybe that will flip the jelousy switches. Just don't be an ass towards her. Just be the c/f pua you are.

My last gf was long distance... and we were pretty serious and i could tell the situation was really affecting her badly and i would try to reassure her that it was only temporary and that we would be together soon. I had planned a trip to go see her for a week and bought tickets and everything. a few days before it was time to leave she ended the whole "relationship" thing on me.... but you know what, i still ended up going and even though she was cold to me the first few days i made some moves on her and ended up having a lot of sex with her... good old break up sex. now we dont even talk to each other anymore.

anyways, i would say you should still go and make some moves on her. if she blocks your attempts then sarge other girls in front of her... just dont be a jerk about it.

I too have just come out of a long distance relationship

it sucked, i didnt take her for granted and she was HB9is aswell
she came to my country this week, we had planned that she would come to sleep over :s
you know what, she broke up and slept over at her sister's students appartement :S
"because it would be weird"
"she needed time"

she totally didnt wanna see me this week, and i aint got a clue why
her sister says she has still got feelings for me
lol
i had built very good rapport with her, she doesnt want to loose me as a friend. and she wants to see me in the summer again.
she's running away from me because i treated her as a queen, she even said i did and it irritated her :S

im still not really over this as you can see.


but my advice to you is; if you want to go, and it brings something good into your life
you should definitely go
and dont try to rub it into her face like somebody else already said with the cool picture
but yes do sarge when ur in the clubs. try having a good time

_________________
Failure was never an option


Because girls don't like sex.. Yeah RIGHT!
Why else do you think girls have P*ssies