Back in September of 2011 when I began my first year of university I met a girl who was in a few of my classes. She wasn't a HB at all and I didn't find her attractive, which was such a shame because she was such a cool girl. We were in the same study group and worked on a few projects together, and we had so much in common, she was like the perfect girl for me except that I wasn't attracted to her AT ALL. I never even tried to game her because I wasn't attracted. I could tell she liked me but I tried my best not to lead her on. In December 2012 there was a party to celebrate the end of semester and exams before everyone went home for Christmas. I ran into her. She seemed nervous and abruptly she asked me out on a date. I did my best to turn her down by telling her she was a nice girl and a cool friend but she wasn't my type and I didn't think it would work out. She took it in stride and didn't get visibly upset, saying I couldn't blame her for trying and she was cool with being friends. Before I bounced I said I would see her at the start of next semester, but she told me she was going to be doing a field-study program for the following semester and that she was leaving on January 2 and not returning until the beginning of September so I wouldn't see her on campus until the beginning of the next school year. So I wished her luck and we parted.

Since she was busy and doing field work out in the middle of nowhere I didn't have any contact with her (phone/email/texting/Facebook) after that. I gamed other girls like normal. When the first semester of third year began this September some girl I didn't recognize at first came up to me in one of my classes. It was her. She lost about 40 lbs, cut her hair short (and she was one of those rare girls who looked better with shorter hair, it looked much fuller and shinier – not like when it was long, thin and stingy and showed her skinnier face off) and got her teeth fixed. She went from not being a HB to being a HB8. Now I want to get with her since I’m now as attracted to her looks as much as I am her cool personality. I invited her for coffee to catch up but she said she had to meet up with her boyfriend. I found out through the grapevine that she started talking with a guy at a classmates New Years party and they began seeing each other. I know they guy, he is a total AFC, not alpha, has no game, dresses terrible and has no social proof. I thought it would be a piece of cake getting her away from him but no matter what I do she won’t budge. If I do a boyfriend destroyer she just gushes about how awesome he is. If I game other girls she doesn’t bat an eye or get jealous. She won’t hang out with me anywhere alone that is “intimate” or private and if I bring up going out she brings up our friendship. I don’t get why she would do all this since she was interested me, or why she is dating such a beta AFC. I am thinking it's all just a shit-test but I have no idea how to pass it. I usually have no trouble with girls but I am really stuck and could really use some help from more experienced PUA’s as to how I can make her mine. Please help!

First, know that if she's happy move on because you won't do much. In fact it's more beta chasing after one girl who you'll lose more getting just because of the past.

Second, don't assume he's just an AFC, he could look like a little bitch with poor body language but give her amazing sex. Besides he shouldn't be much of a concern for you.

Third, if you really want to give it a shot try complimenting her boyfriend "Oh really, man he must be the the most romantic guy ever", "What? you might have just stumbled across the one you're spending the rest of your life with"

If you're just bagging on her boyfriend she'll instinctively defend him, if you're talking about how perfect he is she'll start to think about the ways he isn't.

But seriously move on.

bro, remember when she asked you out and you said no she was cool and all. why dont you learn a bit from her and after you asked her out and she turned you down be cool wit it and move on. dont get all fussed up about it. move on. dont get obsesed with her.

Dude restoring attraction is hard. Especially since she clearly moved on. I have fucked over many women and then regretted it, tried to get them back by chasing and it almost never works. Honestly if she is that cool I would just be friendly to her and if her relationship fails be there to bone her out:)

Thanks for the replies guys. I have tried talking up her boyfriend because I don't want to seem like a whiny jealous little bitch, and because I know she will defend him if I badmouth him, but even when I say good things about him all she does is gush about how wonderful he is. And although I could be wrong about him being an AFC with no game, I am 99% sure he was a virgin before they got together. This isn't oneitis because I have taken out 2 other girls this week and gotten a couple of phone numbers as well. HB8 won't be alone with me anywhere that isn't a crowded place, doesn't let me kino, and if I throw even the slightest hint of sexual innuendo she immediately steers the conversation in another direction. And when I mention going out she brings up her boyfriend every time.

I guess I don't get why she chose him over me and I'm having a hard time coming to grips with it. I don't want to sound like I'm full of myself but I am tall, athletic, I dress well, have a nice car and am the life of the party. I also have a lot of social proof (hot girls) around me at school. Whereas he is short, scrawny, dresses like a nerd, takes the bus, has few friends, and nearly has an anxiety attack if anyone, much less a girl, talks to him. I have also seen her turn down other guys when they ask her more directly than I have. They have been together for about 9 months, I don't understand at all why a now HB like her is with him, and I am stuck because she shuts me down the second I try to run any game on her.

Hey man. I'm sorry if this first message is going to feel like a rude message to you but this is real life, and what you are going through is called KARMA.

To help you, I need to let my heart talking to you... so don't be mad at me.

Here my heart talking
You had your chance, you didn't want her when you had it. You turned her down. When you eat the dust from someone you love secretly (as you say, she was), when you feel that embarrassment shame after that you've been turned down, it's like the point of no return that makes you think "I'm better than this shit".

Don't try to get her back in those feelings because now you are obsessed with her because she got so much better physically. Good news is... You are probably one of the reason that made her getting so much better. Be proud of yourself for that! Did you ever feel this feeling when you were so down and depressed that something needs to change in your life? That's usually when you start to get all your shit together and start doing push ups. I'd say that you can't imagine the pain you've caused to her by turning her down, I do. And seriously... a date... even if she had 40pounds in extra, if she was a true friend for you, you should have say yes. That's what friends do: caring about each other: no matter what.

Another reason why you should move on:
You said she was virgin before that guy, well guess what... First sex in a long relationship means true love. With my first one, we stayed together a long time before doing anything sexual, that's how I am, that's what I wanted. I know I wanted to feel love before doing anything sexual and I know I wanted her to be virgin as well. That's why I wanted to stay virgin until I find the true one for me. And I had to f****** wait until my late 17 years old! I got no shame to say that out loud on here, because what I had was what I planned for myself, what I had was what I wanted. All of this shit just to let you know that first sex means serious love because it is a fucking big deal, especially for girls. And longer they wait for their first experience to happen, longer they will love the first guy that inserted his worm in their secret beautiful garden. (That's how I've been fucking two years after my first making her cheating on the guy she has been with since she cheated on me with him; yeah that's different, that's revenge sex, I'm evil sometimes).

I'm sorry because you are part of this community, play games and shit... and with your message you're asking for our help.
But I am not going to help you to destroy a relationship where there is happiness (don't take the example of my ex to contradict me, they were not getting on well anymore, and I had to wait two years for that revenge, in the meanwhile, I was with another girl that had cheated on me as well... whatever).
The only thing I can do for you is to advise you to get the fuck out from that obsession to get her back and leave her alone. No one gives a shit that you are better than her boyfriend, especially not her. This is what you think, this might be true, but this is not what she thinks because she is in LOVE!!!!
Now let her live her life, let her do her experiences. Let her experience this great thing that she thinks she has: Love.
Don't worry... Love is like life, it is not eternal. Every single relationship ends at some point. This is life. It ends by some other guy stealing your girl from you (when you don't give her the attention she is seeking in life), it ends when you decide yourself to end it (because she is not giving you what you are seeking in life) or it ends at the end of your lives.
Move on, go get other girls, try maybe to find this "special love" that we all seek (I've found her, so I know what it is... and it is so good that you need to get away from it because it is poison for your life, not healthy at all... just look how depressing I am writing).

Anyway... now that my heart has spoken (necessary step to actually help you), you can analyse every thing I have been writing above and turn it into your advantage. Use your heart (the good shit) to destroy with your brain (the bad shit), that's what we do human being anyway... we all destroy (we're like this, we are born and programmed to destroy. Started by our mother's vagina when she was in labor; ending with our planet; we're parasites).

So whatever... here my brain talking... :
1. Stay friend with her
2. Keep her in your friends circle
3. Don't try to be close with her, nor alone, she won't let you and that would give her IOI from you: so don't!
3. Wait the time it will take for her to go through her relationship and experience all relationship's shits (she seems young, it's her first... so it is gonna blow up soon or later; girls want to have fun and want to experience more than just one relationship anyway. Stats talk.)
4. Be ready for that time when it will occur (if you haven't moved on from that obsession to get her back until that; and find someone you love)
5. Date other girls, stop thinking about her

Yeah, to be short... that's my first advice: WAIT or forget her.
If you feel in 6 month you still want her, then in my eye's heart you'll deserve more help than this. Until that, wait for your turn or for that obsession to go away. (again, just wait for her and her boyfriend to argue, that's fucking it!)

And that's my second advice: Be sure she will call you when that will happen; to do that you just need to go back in the friend zone.


(please don't hate me, and please don't tell me to go to see someone because I have issues to talk about; I can handle all my shits myself)

Hackney, thank-you for such an in-depth reply. That was awesome man and much appreciated. Just one point of clarification though. I know for sure she is definitely not a virgin, nor is this her first relationship. I think there was some confusion with my post. I had said that I was 99% sure that HE was virgin when they got together, in response to the poster who said he could be giving her the best sex of her life despite his beta AFCness.

I think you are right that her losing all the weight and improving her appearance was because of me. But if that were the case, and she improved looks to get with me, why would she not want to be with me now? When I turned her down when she asked me out, she assured me that she was cool with it and it was no problem and we could keep being friends. And since school started and she has been back she is cool with talking with me so I don't think she holds any hard feelings. Like I said I don't think I am obsessed with her because I have been going on dates and gaming other women, I am just struggling to wrap my brain around why she doesn't want to be with me now.

There's an old saying that goes "You snooze, you lose."

She's probably with the guy because he makes her feel good about herself. You said since January that this girl has lost about 40 pounds? She's probably still extremely insecure. He tells her how beautiful she is, and calls her all the time and sends her flowers, and waits for her outside of work to make sure she gets to her car safely..... Live and let live my dude. Fuck her. She's dust in the wind now.

The fact that you are bumping this girl up from someone who you wouldn't even sleep with to the near top of the "scale" shows me that you need to learn a thing or two about something called "make up" and what it can do for a persons physical appearance.