Hi,

I am a newbie to this site, and in general dating as well. I think this site is a great idea, and I am going to follow this seriously. After reading through lots of posts out here, it seems like the most logical solution in my case (AFC) is GFTOW. However, I still would appreciate some advice in my case as I really really like this girl(I rarely like someone so much even if they are much hotter).

I would explain my case in more detail :-
I recently joined an international academic program, where there are people from all over the world. There's this girl in the same course as mine. She's from some european country and hence doesn't speak English very well. That's why I have to really cut down on my english and pretty much speak very basic sentences while talking to her. I have been having some IOI's from her which can very easily mean nothing as well. She asked for my phone number, we generally sit together in all classes, do all assignments together and she also asked me to study together. However, I have not received much attention from her outside of class like she doesn't respond very well on instant messaging. However, whenever we are together she does take some interest in my personal affairs but still very little.

I gifted her some sweets, which after reading this forum, looks like I shouldn't have done without first showing serious interest in her. My question is what should I do next ? I am planning to ask her out for a movie or something during the next time we study together, but after reading this forum I am completely confused.

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The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...

First of all, it is good that you like her really much, as long as you can let her go. Whatever you do, don't get oneitis over her. I can tell you that if you show her how much you like her, making her feel special and that you have selected her among other options (other girls, aka preselection), she will at least be flattered.

Gifts are okay as long as you don't mention anything about money, and you don't expect anything back. So don't worry about that. Just give her the gift, and leave it there. We can compare this to buying drinks to girls in a bar - it is okay to buy drinks under one condition - don't mention the cost, and don't expect her to give you any attention. The best way to do this is to start talking to someone else and ignore the girl for a while. Since you have done something for her, it is her turn to do something for you. Let her come to you.

From what you have described she is probably not interested in you other than as a friend. I can only see one reason for this - you have not suggested anything sexual yet. You need to create that vibe. So go ahead and get your mouth dirty!

Really appreciate your post. Yes, I also think that she probably thinks of me only as a friend. There's a voice inside me which for some reason keeps on saying that she probably likes me, but it has been wrong once before so I wouldn't trust it. Could you suggest me what could I say to tell her I am interested in a casual way. Or probably point to another post or link which discusses such scenario.

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The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...

Kind of an urgent situation, I would really appreciate posting soon if anyone has any suggestions to give.

Developments :- she brought a gift for me from her home, which is kinda small but still a nice gesture. We did an assignment together, and I had office lunch with her friends and her where I think I was decently funny and interesting. We had decided to study together today(which she suggested), but now she is saying that she thinks it might be better if she studies at home by herself. I don't know why but this kind of thing to me at a lot, when a girl agrees to do something or in fact even suggests something, and then cancels at the end moment. Now, I am confused whether I should push harder or just act cool and say that it's ok.

Please post faster, I have to do something in next 2-3 hours.
*I have this confusion every time I am in this situation, and I have heard both methods work with equal odds.

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The most important 4-letter word I learnt, when it comes to dating ---- "Next" ...

Yep you need to escalate dude you are charging headlong into the friendzoned if you don't. Her wanting to study by herself could mean anything ignore it. Escalate now, look at some videos on YouTube by gambler or somethong but ypu need to escalate asap.

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It came to me in a drreeeaaammmm