Someone asked "how do you not care" when you have a case of oneitis some time ago. The answer is easy: keep hitting up other girls and keep your options open and soon enough you'll realize she's replaceable to the point you won't care if any other girl rejects you.

So now I must ask this exact same question when confronted by an AMOG. Some time ago there was a very long thread about a guy who went out to a bar by himself and was asked why he was out alone. The advice given was split around 50/50 -- half said he should have stuck up for himself and engaged in a confrontation, whereas the other half said he should have put up an I-don't-care attitude. Although personally I was of the opinion that he should have stuck up for himself, I can see the value in being indifferent to insults.

However, I think that if you're going to take the I-don't-care approach, you really need to not care. Otherwise if others can see that you care, but don't say anything, it'll probably be the worst thing. When an AMOG confronts me, my adrenaline goes through the roof and my heart starts racing. I use that energy to confront the AMOG. But with a high adrenaline and racing heart, it would be difficult to play the no-fucks-given card because I'm sure it would show in my body language and the tone of my voice. So now I must ask to those who lean on the indifferent approach: how do you not care?

this has quite a bit to do with perception of the environment, and your ego, if you perceive you are being attacked or you are in some sort of competition or confrontation, you will likely act according

if you feel insecure about something in some sort of situation, you are likely going to either become aggressive or defensive in order to protect your ego based around that insecurity

there is not necessarily a ''right'' thing to do, because in some situations you will just get plain old haters that are absolutely envious of you or they are under certain circumstances that cause them to be absolutely irrational or confrontational, you never really can know truly what is going on 100% and sometimes you just plain can not make a friend or blow a guy out and he will just go to the point of trying to physically attack you or will have an extreme grudge against you for no apparent reason

but think of it like this, if you are very ''non caring'' or nonchalant about things, with a strong frame, people will tend to fall in with the strongest frame, so if you are truly to the belief that you are being friendly and just trying to meet people and socialize and it's no big deal, others will adopt to this, it's normal for you, it's normal for them

how ever when you congruence is tested on this frame, and all of a sudden you go from ''friendly and socializing and this is normal and safe, here to make friends'' to, ''omg i'm being attacked, this situation is hostile, I am in a competition with this guy and must attack back''

people can pick up on this, and what just happened there is you have conformed to that guys frame, he is insecure about something that causes him to be more hostile and put out a negative vibe, you fall in line with his negativity and adopt to his frame, it turns into a battle like what he was projecting and the biggest ego wins or loses in this situation

OTOH, what you can do is just plainly drop your ego, and not give him anything to grasp onto, never show your cards, don't let him see you are ready to go, don't let him see you are ready to run, just plain don't even let him know you are concerned with him, truly do not give a fuck, and stay on track with what you are doing, keep train of thought, when the group is already on the wavelength of '' you are being friendly and have no intention of being rude'' when someone violates the frame and you don't react, it draws more attention to them having a low social aquity (if he can't pick up on social cues and is being rude to friendly person that is accepted by the group, it makes him look more socially retarded)

the more you hold the frame and the more sure of this you are with out reacting to hostile guys around you, the more of them will feel more secure around you and fall into your frame and you will make friends instead of enemies once they realize you seriously don't give a fuck about what they say

but that can be tough on a guys ego if he actually cares, you have to lead by example, if you can still be friendly and polite within reason and forgive, you can bring them into the frame, nothing gets you respect faster then being respectful and if they just won't have it you don't have to suck up to them or anything trying to win their approval, you can just ignore them completely if they choose to not pick up on social cues of acceptance and friendship, and the more they violate that frame that everything is good and the more you hold it, the more it becomes more apparent to the whole group that he is seeking your attention and violating certain unspoken social rules that make him look like a giant cunt and make you look like you are doing nothing wrong, just pay less attention to it and if it is getting out of hand, just draw attention to him doing so through other people and form alliances without giving him too much attention or becoming emotional, as soon as you become trolled and care, is as soon as his frame becomes the new frame for the interaction between you two

think of it like a test of your congruence, how well you can stay normal under pressure without getting emotional, it happens with both guys and girls, it can take as little as just addressing the problem right away, if he is trying to set some sort of frame calling you out on picking up girls or being disrespectful for no reason, just accept what ever comes you way and don't react with shame or anger, just ignore it and stay on the positive path and don't buy into his frames, you don't have to do anything for him or gain his approval and you don't have to put him down either, just keep on with what you are doing and know you are doing nothing wrong

example, ''are you trying to fuck this girl''
or, ''is this guy trying to pick you up?'' *looks to girl*

you: yeah, I actually do think this girl is really cute and I was talking to her but I didn't realize you two were together, if you like her I'll back off for you and you two can talk together, would you like to talk with her?

or ''my bad mate, didn't realize, are you guys together?''

(try to go through the girls as much as you can to form a team with them, any questions regarding logistics should be addressed to the girls that will cooperate and help you, not to those trying to cut you down, and quickly putting the guy in this position can take the pressure off you and put it on him fast)

example, ''who is this faggot?''
you: *look to girl* ''do you know this guy?''

or

ignore him like he doesn't exist and keep talking to who you were talking to without giving him attention until he is more polite, and if he is super persistent just give him the least attention possible, you can basically just shrug off most of everything with, ya thanks man with no hate towards him or anything within reason and no need for his acceptance, just stay respectful and indifferent until he is willing to be more respectful and be aware that he is sort of being weird when you are just being friendly, and soon enough others will realize this too, just keep trying to make the situation better for others that are enjoying your company (once again within reason), no need to downplay the tension, but also no need to create any and the group will just stick with you as long as you seem secure in yourself, with the obvious qualifier being that you are using common sense and if he is a danger to your well being or seriously violating your personal boundaries that you address the issue before it gets out of hand

always try to make a friend before an enemy, you don't have to be in a competition, but it would be helpful to just have personal boundaries for yourself, if someone crosses the boundary assert yourself, what ever you do, just commit to it and be sure of the decision, but really those boundaries are going to have to be subject to your own personal preference, are you really going to get all butthurt about some comment a guy makes about you that doesn't even know you? or is that guy just weird for making random judgmental comments about people he doesn't even know?, OTOH if he is getting really out of line and it is making you feel uncomfortable and it is totally unmerited are you really going to stand there and pretend he isn't getting under your skin when he is? the real line here should be one of authenticity, if you actually are indifferent maintain that as long as possible, they call it being cool for a reason, but if you do care, don't hesitate to scratch the monkey off your back with the focus here being on improving your self esteem and downplaying your ego until you just don't even realize there is a monkey

and yes, you can confront people and blow them out when they are less sure of themselves then you are, you can be downright egotistical and get into pissing contests with everyone that crosses your path, you can even make that work for you but really, why would you want to? and what happens when you encounter a guy that is more sure of himself and doesn't care about you or your pissing contest when you are under the notion that you are a part of one?

Thanks for that exhaustive reply. I guess what I was missing is that the guy can come off as a cunt if I don't fall into his frame, and that's an important factor that I was overlooking previously.

I have a very simple thought experiment for you.
You're walking in the street. A haggard, hideous, small homeless man comes up to you and starts shouting insults at you. What do you do?

Now imagine you know a guy. He's a rival of yours in pretty much everything. You know he's a little better at some of the things you really care about, and scores girls that are slightly hotter than yours all the time.
He comes up to you one day and tells you that you're a loser. What's your instinctive reaction now?

Now... Which of these situations are you insecure in? Where are you afraid of losing face and looking like a fool when you've just been insulted?
The one with the guy that you feel might be a bit better than you, or the one with the nobody?

Lets take this a slight sociopathic step further. You're walking on the street. There's an ant going to a crumb. You accidentally kicked the crumb. Now the ant is pissed at you. Are you going to stop and apologize to the ant?

Most "bros" that go to bars aren't very different from ants. They're the bottom feeders that clean our shit, make our subway sandwiches, and work at our gas stations at age 30. They're too dumb to comprehend what social dynamics or PUA are, let alone be able to use them. Why concern yourself with what they think of you? If they try to sting you, stomp them good and hard. Otherwise.. who goes out of their way to argue with an ant?

Really good way of looking at it. Thanks for that insight.

I used to live near a club area. One night, some trouble brewed and 7 guys ended up dead with blood all over the place. I also worked on a crime information system project before for a police general and the statistics indicate that most reported crimes happened around 10:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays.

When you're out sarging at night, your senses should be very sharp. I have also come across several US crime statistics and that's how I learned why a cal. 38 pistol is called a Saturday Night Special.

Now, here's my personal anecdote when I was still very active in college hanging out in clubs and bars. I've encountered one fight too many and if you're indifferent to your surroundings, you'll end up fucked up in the hospital.

It's fight or flight but you would be smart enough not to be indifferent with what's happening around. Don't tell me this is limited to crime laden Asia. Crime stats are easy to validate in most first world countries.

This is one of the reasons why I seldom do night game and when I club at night, I'm very cautious around AMOGs and the like. When the shouting starts and you see a shiny object flash, you'ld better hit the AMOG's throat hard at once and as fast as you can or you might end up dead.

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general-questions/topic137931.html

sometimes being able to outwit an amog with clever remarks can raise value but i guess its better than insults just having something funny and original to comeback with and usually everyone laughs.. can be offensive unless the other person can 1 up

I'm not sure how you get in "amogging" situations but a good way to deal with amogs is to keep a distance whenever possible. Otherwise, if you're in a situation where a guy asks you why are you alone at a bar just tell him you're thirsty , in the end he might just be trying to be sociable.
In situations where a guy just tries to be a douche to you for no apparent reason just do anything you can to avoid him and forget about dealing with him, remember: you can't pick up any girl in a club where the bouncer won't let you in .

I've seen kids and friends when attacked/AMOGGED attempt the 'I don't care' act, and seen them burned at the same time. They appear timid, and the attacker has them around his finger. For the AMOG, there is no reason not to stop, he is getting laughs from others, and is getting a boost of the inactivity of his victim.

Personally I only think the 'I don't care' act can work when you have transcended alpha, when you possess such a majestic dominance/respect aura that let alone if anyone dares challenge you, if they did it would be child's play, much like trying to punk Sean Connery, you would just be deemed the fool.

As another posted said, my adrenaline spikes when someone comes up to challenge, but why step on up and respond? Because fuck him that's why. I can't sit back and play 'don't care', if someone gets up in my grill and tries to boost himself in front of others by using me, i'll shoot to use the most vicious, wittily cutting one-liner I can. I'm making it known he picked a fight with the wrong bull.

Much like a bratty kid who smacks the sleeping dog on the head for respect points among his friends. He keeps hitting the dog while the dog does nothing? He's got balls of steel, a hero, and takes home barbie. The dog snaps and sinks teeth into his hand? The kid sure won't try that again.

-SilverTonguedFox

I can ignore because I can break most AMOGs ribs and jaws in under 10 seconds. I don't need to prove shit as long as they don't touch me. Hit the gym and pick up competitive MMA and you'll find yourself less worried about proving how hard you are to random nobodies. The side benefit is that if you actually get built nobody will mess with you in the first place. I have literally never been insulted by a guy at a bar or a party in my entire life, nor have I insulted anyone else.