I understand one of the themes of pua is if you are not confident, you pretend you are. if you are insecure, you pretend you are secure.

I am wondering how long can you pretend for? like maybe I could fake my way the first time and manage to get a phone number. maybe just maybe I could pretend on the first date. but by the second date, wouldn't the girl start to realize what an insecure loser I am?
how far can you pretend? or is this not even a good question to ask?

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I have not failed 10,000 times. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Edison

Fake it till you make it just doesn't cut it for me either, but I think a lot of the inner-game mantra out there is directed towards that. Confidence and external appearance is something that requires practice no matter how much inner game you have, but it's certainly easier to project confidence and pass the many shit-tests women may throw at you if you've got the inner game set.


Check out David D'eangel's stuff on inner game. It's not really something you learn overnight, but will come, like all things, with practice.

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Preston's Game Log - Please critique

Confidence- Noun
The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust: "we had every confidence in the staff".
The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
Synonyms
trust - faith - reliance - belief - credit - credence


You see bro, confidence is not something you do or do not have a lot of. It is a particular feeling caused by a series of chemical reactions in your brain at a particular time based off of certain things in your surroundings. Everyone has experienced what it feels like to be confident in doing something at some point in their lives but that feeling of confidence came from becoming more competent in doing such activity. For example, riding a bicycle. You may have not felt completely confident when you first got on a bicycle, however, once you became more comfortable performing such task, your feelings of confidence grew when it came to riding the bicycle and it became "second nature" for you to ride a bike. Now, you can probably hop onto a bike and ride with ease because of your knowledge of the bike and what it is capable of doing.

How does this relate to feeling confident around women? Once you know how to act in one situation, you can use this recorded knowledge to achieve your desired out come in a similar situation. This is competence. Once you know what the feeling of confidence is to you, it is very easy to make yourself feel this way at any particular time. Think back to a time where you felt confident in doing something or saying something and watch how easily it is to make yourself experience this particular feeling at any time you would like... for example, when you are interacting with a girl.

Fake it until you make it is actually not such a bad adage. The more success you have "faking it" the more real confidence you will develop.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Exactly. And heres the thing dude... As human beings, we tend to jump into the roles that people of society give us and naturally begin to act these ways.

I'll put this several different ways for you....

You act high value. You get treated like you are high value. You will start to do things that will make you truly become high value.

You act like a rockstar. You get treated like you are a rockstar. You will start to do things that will make you truly become a rockstar.

You act like a loser. You get treated like you are a loser. You will start to do things that will make you truly become a loser.

Make sense?

confidence just comes with experience, you can only fake it so long until it is real, if you hop on a bike and first you don't KNOW how to ride a bike, but you read a book that said, ''don't stop pedaling and keep your eyes where you are going''

you may not be fully confident that pedaling and keeping your eyes where you are going is going to result in riding a bike with success, but after hopping on that bike and trying a few thousand times, you are probably going to just KNOW that pedaling and looking where you are going either works a certain way or doesn't

and KNOWING that is your confidence in riding that bike, same applies to meeting girls, after saying hi to a few bizzilion girls and seeing them react and having conversations with a shit ton of women and trying to sleep with them, after really getting in there and getting some experience, you will just know according to your own ''game'' plan what types of decisions you are going to make, do you continue with this girl?, do you move on? is this going good? is this going bad? should I ask her home? should I touch this girl? should I talk to her friends? did I just offend her? does she seem uncomfortable and shy? does she seem really confident and fun? should I mess with her a bit for fun to keep this conversation going to a more exciting place, or is that too much for her and she needs more acceptance and validation to feel more comfortable with me first? are the logistics making this possible at this place and time?

all these things just start to come with time and practice, just hopping on the bike over and over and eventually you will be more concerned about is the bike on a steady coarse then OMG I'M GONNA FALL, I'M GONNA FALL, you just know, ohhh boy this is a sick bike ride and it's going great, or holy shit this bike is broken

your security is more or less just going to be based on self esteem, you can be pretty insecure and a pretty big subjective loser from your own point of view and still end up sleeping with plenty of women, OTOH you can have a huge ego and bloated self esteem and subjectively be viewed negatively by the girl in front of you and get blown out, time after time after time, and just come off as arrogant and egotistical, developing a higher self esteem and a greater sense of security just helps you get out of your own way better, you cock block yourself less and stay more focused on the task at hand more

if you are really insecure and too focused on yourself, i.e. OMG I SUCK AND I AM NOT WORTHY, WHAT IF SHE FINDS OUT HOW SHITTY I AM AND HOW CAN I HIDE IT, you will tend to spend more time worrying about yourself and how you are perceived, highlighting your negative qualities and what you are insecure about (i.e. not being good enough), rather then just already trusting that you are good enough and getting on with it

if you are not actually proceeding with getting to know the person and getting on with the task at hand (seducing her and starting a relationship of some kind), this can really shoot you in the foot, but even if you are neurotic and have a low self esteem plenty of girls will try to give you obvious signs and make it easier for you if they are in to you, but OTOH plenty will not and will become frustrated at the lack of responsibility taken on your part and just eventually lose interest

for the most part if you can even get a girl out on a date with you, what other reason would she go out with you besides having some curiosity about you, like why would you not be good enough if she actually gives up her time to hang out with you?

basically, a lot of guys might not even try to sleep with the girl they are interested in due to self doubt based on self esteem or maybe even some sort of feeling of shame associated with the idea of sex (girls are pure, sex is evil, madonna whore complex etc.), when there is no merit in their own insecurities from the girls subjective view point, or they might not even make an attempt at even meeting the girls they are interested in because they think they are not good enough, this fear of failure due to a self perception of inadequacy in it's self will lead to failure via making no attempt, in the end self doubt is like poision and it is a self fulfilling prophecy (100% of the time you don't meet that girl you are interested in, and you don't try, you will not sleep with her, 100% of the time and that is guaranteed failure, even though it might feel like the safest of options at the time)

anyways mate, just give it time, keep making steps towards walking into the unknown, accept failure and keep taking new risks to experience what rewards those risks bring, there is really no need to fake anything, just have to spend time finding the right girls and knowing you are good enough to enjoy love and a girl would benefit from being a part of your life, learn to accept yourself first and just give it your best, the rest will come with time

GOOD LUCK