I'm 22. My mum isn't dead but she's barely been there for me, only a few weeks here and there in my entire life - so I've basically been raised by a single father my entire life, no mother figure at all.

Recently I saw a post in PUA Lounge where someone said something along the lines of 'Your father teaches you to think, your mother teaches you how to feel' - this is what I've always believed, and I've never seen anyone else say/write that before I saw this post.

I've got some good strengths, far beyond most other men I meet, but as a result I lack in other areas. It's as if my strengths are trying to compensate for what I lack. It's very hard to describe what I lack exactly but the main thing is I'm messy emotionally.

A good example is with other AMOGs - if I get insulted (AMOG trying to DLV me) I go from 'normal' to absolutely demonically enraged - even in the past going as far as to suddenly smack the person in the face which is a total breakdown of all things alpha and PUA.

I can't help but feel totally insulted and offended and no matter how hard I try and quell my rage it always comes out in some way, and it's not nice.

This is just one of the problems that I feel not having a mother has caused for me, but also a big one of course because it's very emotionally unstable.

Is there anybody else in the same or at least similar position, and does anyone have any help/answer whatsoever to this problem?

Eh, I grew up the complete opposite. I am more empathetic than the average man and can be very comfortable conversing with women since my mother raised me. On the other hand, I tend to be reckless, not in fits of rage, but because I did not have that "go get em" dad who pushed me to do things. Lack of action.


Anyway, you can certainly learn to curb your bad behavior. I frame it as bad because you do not really need those emotions. They do not help you make friends. Every time you get angry just use humor to laugh at how silly you get so easily riled up. Every time you get mad, just smile. It is hard to feel angry when you are smiling, as I have tried from personal experience.

P.S. Do not make excuses for yourself. Just make your situation better.

_________________
In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

Lack of a proper father figure was my problem once, but I eventually got past it, so it's no big deal.
Having been raised entirely by my mother, she always taught me (and of course, I listened, in some way), to be the "nice guy". A thing at which I look back on, now, and laugh, since I know just how silly that was, and how, even though she's a parent, she has absolutely no clue of what she really wants; as most women.
Whenever I reflect back on my life, I always think that, had a true father figure been there, I wouldn't even know about "game".
The "Father teaches you how to think, and mother teaches you how to feel" saying is true. And while most people tend to disagree with it, it's because of their parents and their problems.
It seems to me as though you're too emotional for your own good. The thing is, in this particular business, picking up and game, emotion, for us, should not be involved. That comes after. The main thing we rely on, is thinking. Women do the feeling. We think. That's why we're better in every way, shape, and form. Except that we don't have a vagina.
As far as your anger goes, try to think before you act (don't overthink though). Try to put your thoughts in front of your emotions. It's a better way of living, as far as I'm concerned.
In response to your question, in direct relation to game, and what it represents, not having a mother (but having a real father), actually benefits you.

Um, therapist anyone?

Just a shot in the dark, but maybe your anger comes from resentment towards your mother?

In general, all the relationships you get yourself in will tend to be repeated cycles of the challenges in life that you need to become aware of in order to develop. You're stuck so you likely need professional help, or very insightful people, to become aware of these cycles. Once you can identify them, you can deal with them, not until.

The first thing to do is forgive your mum.

Notice yourself when you get angry. What are the patterns? Write down your patterns, and next to it a solution to that pattern. Maybe this helps. And I don't know if it is because of a lack of mother figure, because my mother has always dominated my father in his behaviour, and I turned out to be a nice guy. Not sure which one you like more, angry guy or nice guy. Your choice.

But that doesn't mean that you cannot change your behaviour. It's gonna take dedication and baby steps, and if it's really that bad, consider anger management therapy.

Wallie

_________________
The Learning Journal:
--> wallies-journal-vt141967.html