Background:
- dated for around 8 months
- been broken up for 6 months (I was on and off with her for the last month, But she was the one who finally ended it)
- very little contact in those 6 months
- first 2 months aside I've been doing pretty well with women since then and have had girls I didn't think i could ever get last year
- the no contact + seeing other women defiantly got me over the breakup but my interest in her hasn't at all diminished

Points of interest:
- we have a mutual friend who she does martial arts with who (under the influence of MDMA) told me, she often randomly asks about me and talks about past times with me (although not always positivity)
- the mutual friend said she dislikes my ego which apparently is still very strong (also i used to rediculously sponanious back in the day apparently)
- The mutual friend said she likes my company but feels she cannot relate with I talk about often
- she seems quite reserved in what she says and in her behaviour around me (almost cold) although i have been able to get her to smile and laugh a little more lately
- I have implied this as a poor personal day ("explicitly just me and her, day together, like old times)

Anyway in the last three weeks I've had coffee with her twice, and a couple days after my birthday next week she said she was down when I asked her if she wants to "spend the day together like old times".

my intention is to get my foot back in the door

and now my questions:
1: can anyone give me some definite do's and Do nots when were chilling together?

2: why does she ask and talk about me so often while acting somewhat cold towards me in person? (example: I always make the first text/call, unless I tell her to ring me the next day)

3: what are some good conversation topics that will easily be mutually interesting?

4: any other bits of advice are always good

1. Do touch her a lot. Be prepared for her to admit she's seeing someone else, even if you're 99% sure she's not. Do not react to anything she says seriously. Above all, control your emotions.

2. She doesn't have respect for you. You're always the one who initiates contact, so she knows you're hanging out with her out of desperation, not interest. Let her text you first from now on. Seriously, there's no rush on your end. It's not like you have a biological clock or societal expectations that expect you to be married by age 30.

3. Even if you're talking about the weather, all you're going to be thinking is, "Heh...my dick was in that mouth." Do not talk about anything negative that has happened in your life. Since you two parted ways, you find $20 bills on the ground all the time. All positive. "Life is so good, I can taste it in my spit." Write that down.

4. Pretend she used to buy stock in you, and the day after she sold off all her shares, the value just went through the roof. She made a horrible investment and she wants to buy back in. If I were you, I would keep this meeting short, leave her wanting more, and tell her you have to leave early because you have to meet up with your new girlfriend. Cap it off by saying, "I'm really glad you and I can be friends like this." Go about your day, wait for her to text you and beg you to come back.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

how do I build up her respect again and get her to call/text me first, short of telling her to? I am the one re-initiating contact over all this time after all?

If you take one thing from this post, DO NOT bring up the past. You've got to treat this as a hard reset, however with the benefit of knowing her, which is a good thing. I'd keep things airy a d light, have fun, be in the moment (as you should with anyone). Don't try read her or anticipate her next move based on your history. Demonstrate that you can give her something she's yearning for - a good time without demanding any sort of a commitment.

By being genuine with her. Respect takes time to establish, if you impose time constraints on earning or regaining it you will likely only scare her off. Be glad you have an opportunity to hang with her.

Meet up with her this one time and do what I've said. If she never reaches out to you, then she's most likely over it. You may have to cop to that.

Meantime, you need to improve your life. Is there clutter in your car or home? Get rid of it. Whatever you do for work, get promoted or land yourself a better job. Date other women. Pick up Insanity, P90X, or a martial arts class and get fit before summer. Instead of listening to Bruno Mars sing about catching grenades for ungrateful bitches, pick up an audio CD that can teach you another language. Listen to it everywhere you drive and once you've mastered it, visit that country! Go skydiving, go deep sea diving.

Do something exciting that you want to do that has nothing to do with her, for fuck's sake.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

It's not clear to me why you are trying to get back with her. Move on, no? Or you just want her for sex or something interesting like that?

Advice:

1. Don't. Go get other women and when you've really changed see if you are still interested in her.

2. Because girls love drama. Because you were in a relationship and she needs to work through her frustrations with you so she can close that chapter of her life.

3. Don't talk about anything serious. Just make jokes about everything she asks. Anyway, my guess is it will be awkward and you think it's something and she doesn't.

4. See number 1.

If you want to get back with her, sleep with her, its simple as that, have sex and then follow with all the pillow talk.

Keep up the kino, tell how exciting your life has been since you've split up, DHV some more i am in two minds about bringing up the past, if its about a good memory or a fun time, i can't see the harm in bringing that up, especially if she is in a sentimental mood. You really have to calibrate in this situation, take all the advice you have received and measure it up in the time.

It's best to move on, as the saying goes there are plenty of fish in the sea, which is very true. But i completely understand why you would want to get back with her.

I tried moving on. Fucking others, no contact . In 6/7 months it hasn't worked, I have a problem. I'm not expecting anything from her like all women. But like all women I wanna know how to get her

Maybe consider seeing a shrink.