To cut a long story short, met a girl and went on a date with her a few weeks back.
actually met her online but I knew who she was and I think she knew the same. Small community.

Date went ok'ish. I was kind of trying to be confident on date and did mention that I get a lot of female attention. I mentioned that I did fancy her but in return she said she didnt fancy me and apologised for it, although she did say I was good looking.
We stayed till gone closing time chatting and she waited for me to stand up and break conversation before she did the same.

I did say to her outside 'come and meet me again' and she said (probably politely) ok.

I went home thinking it wasnt really that worth it. Didnt feel great about the date and thought I would be making a pratt out of myself if I contacted her again. She is slightly older than me at 36 and good looking.
(unusual in this town to be pretty and single at that age)

Two days later and I get a txt from her ( I hadnt text her at all at this point) saying -

'Hi (name).. good to properly meet you yesterday, was nice chatting! (name) x


half an hour later I replied

'Big time. I enjoyed our chat. Am away for weekend.. How's next Tuesday for another one?'

I heard nothing.... then 4 days later, on Monday, I get a text saying 'Can't do Tuesday sorry'


I was really confused. Now I have ditched the idea of this girl so no problems there, but I want to learn and try and understand from this... what happened?.. was she playing a game?.. uninterested?.. was my text wrong?..

thoughts appreciated.

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here to learn.. thats all.

The way I see it, you made two mistakes:
1. I think the way you conveyed your interest was too formal. Telling a girl you like her is fine, but the way you do it is the most important part (as with many, if not all things in life). Keep it light, flirtatious.
2. I think your reply was way to eager. (Did you text her between your invitation and her rejection by the way?) You would have been better off with some banter before bringing up the subject of going out again.

The recurring theme in both mistakes is coming on too strong. I get the feeling that you're looking for a girlfriend. If so, try to relax and reframe the 'looking for love' as 'having fun with some chick'. If I'm wrong and you're just looking to get laid, then don't waste your time on romantic dates. Only meet up when you have established that she's looking for the same thing as you are.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

Thanks for the response

I think I told her on the date that I fancied her originally when I first saw her before our date.. maybe that was too much, but it didnt stop her texting me to follow up our date.. point taken about showing too much interest anyway..

Reply was possibly too eager, but I am curious as to why she replied 4 days later that she couldnt make it. Why not reply same/next day and leave it at that.. or just not respond.. I just wander if she was playing a game..

Yes I am pretty desperate these days for a gf, but she is older than me and I am sure more desperate.

_________________
here to learn.. thats all.