I work in a office and generally people see me as the quite one who gets he's work done but can have a joke with the boys.

How can I change my image or the way I act so that women (some who's known me for 4 years) find me attractive and not just a AFC?

One answer I can think of is to invite the people you like out for a drink and make a really good impression. Other tactics; be more assertive, suggest good ideas at work, talk more (small talk). You may have already thought of these though.

Consider a funkier hairdo, nicer threads, earring(s).

Make sure u lead an active social life so if people ask how your weekend was you have something interesting to say.

DO NOT consider m**turbating in the Mens' room loudly (or to hip hop), my cousin tried it and it doesnt work and doesnt impress anyone!

Image at work is important for much more than girls. I have been very successful working and I believe its largely do to my ability to network and the image I've created. I do my work too, but I saw so many people getting ahead while doing nothing but APPEARING to work I realized it wasn't just want you did but how you are perceived.

I work for a professional company (think Fortune 500) and peacocking in the traditional sense isn't appropriate. No make-up, jewelry on men, or weird hair or clothing. But you don't have to wear sneakers, jeans, and a wrinkled shirt either. Peacock on your terms. Business casual is just an excuse to dress up a different way. If you have enough money get a stylist or a personal shopper. Get GQ or at least thumb through it at the bookstore. Rent Ocean's Eleven and look at everything Brad and George wear (minus the tie). If you can outdress everyone without wearing a tux you're gonna get noticed.

As for attitude, its critical. Smile ALWAYS. Say hi to EVERYONE, including your girl. Make small talk, and actually listen. Remember how many kids everyone has and their names and grades. Ask about them from time to time. Remember the best anyone has ever made you feel personally at work and do what they did. If you've never felt good at work then get a new job.

Do social things. Set up a weekly lunch or a happy hour. Invite your friends and expand it to more people (maybe even your girl). Set up a fantasy football league. If you don't know how, learn. Do a poker night for the guys you know or a flag football game. Become a guys guy in everyones eyes.

All of this will make you more popular and not the "quiet guy". And popular guys get noticed, especially by girls.

But as for your problem, I'm telling, no I am WARNING, you to not do it. From several experiences, some my own, some witnessed, some learned, that you DO NOT want to date someone at your work, and you definately don't want to try to PU at work.

First of all, if you are getting your work done you can kiss that goodbye. Any issue you guys have will have to be dealt with at work. She'll come see you during the day, you'll have to go see her, basically 20-40% of your day will be gone. Say hello to unpaid overtime.

Second, a company is a very small world. Anything you guys do will be known, any mistake you make will be known (especially to the girls in the office), the last thing you want is to be known as the guy who forgets birthdays or something like that to your boss or the admin or the new hot intern.

Third, even if all of that doesn't happen, 24 hours of a person is tough. Imagine all of your dreams come true. You hit it off, date a few years, move in together. Now you sleep, eat, work, drive, etc with her all the time. After a few months you'll want to kill her. Even if you can take that, she might not. That eight hours a day apart will keep you guys sane. Think of it like separating at a club from a target. You create desire by removing yourself. If you're around her all the time she doesn't have a chance to miss you or want you. That 8 hours gives her a chance to miss you.

The work relationship is impossible to work. I'm sure you've heard "don't sh!t where you eat?" Don't date where you work. <--word to the wise

Cheers for the advice guys

Unfortunatly Mugen, I've already been in a 2 year relationship with someone from work. Worst thing I've ever done cause now its so negative in the office between me and her little group since we broke up. Back then I was a AFC so every week I'd buy her flowers and take her somewhere and she just messed me about. Thats why I wanna change who I am.

I must agree that never getting into work relationships...

As for dressing, I think I'm Sh1t hot on that front. Always wearing a nice designer suit with shirt and cufflinks. Think its my attitude thats a problem though. I always come across as not being bothered when most of the time, I'm woried about the work more than my bosses. Is there a way to get round this and make me seem more confident?

Change who you are and become a better you for YOURSELF, forget her and what she did to you. She didnt kill you, she made you wake up and realize that if you dont do something thats the kind of SPAM you have to look foreward to for the rest of your life.

First off, if you wana ENJOY work more (being social and having people notice you in a positive light is enjoyable), then you need to:

-Have more confidence (improve inner game)
-Be more social and outgoing (Inner and Outter game)

As someone mentioned, the best way to show people who you are, is outside of work. However if you walk up and ask everyone to come out, they probably wont.

Make friends, be social, be a LEADER, and be assertive at work. Get people to like you (without being try hard), and they will be asking you to hang out.

It might start with a simple comment you make to someone or about something. Be more conversational to people. Be more outgoing.

As for where to improve, while style and dress typically help make a good and quick impression, if your happy with your style the next thing to work on is Inner game. Confidence will be even more obvious to people then the clothing on your back.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."