| It's really important to frame the relationship the right way from the start. Otherwise you risk backsliding towards the kind of AFC patterns you've described - doing her favours all the time, paying for everything, etc.
Easy things to do that won't get you into these problems:
1. For every 2-3 texts she sends, send 1. Always wait at least 10 minutes before replying (unless it's like "HELP THER IS RAPIST KTHX xxx")
2. As a follow on from that, don't be too available. You have a life of your own, so you can't always pick her up, come over when she wants you to, reschedule your plans to suit hers, etc. Obviously try and compromise, and don't go 2 weeks without seeing her just to be difficult, but don't always be willing to fit your schedule to hers.
3. Paying for stuff is a tricky subject, because you don't want to seem like a miserly bastard. A simple way to avoid problem scenarios is to just NOT do dates which are just driving her to some nice restaurant and then home. That activates "date" pattern, and in that pattern, you are supposed to pay. Instead, you can make a date something like getting coffee, going shopping, grabbing a quick bite in/near the shops, then home. That way she could pick up the coffee, you guys can split the bill when you eat, and obviously you'd pay only for your own clothes if you buy any. Also if you get her to recommend somewhere to eat or go, then it's the generally accepted social rule that whomever is "inviting" the other person by recommending the place, picks up the bill.
Finally, I would be a bit concerned that you're saying things like she gets jealous if you mention your ex. The fact that she's confident verbalising her jealousy to you shows to me that you're not dominant enough in the relationship. It's sort of like a shit test. She wants to see if you're gonna apologise, and thus show submissiveness, which gives her licence to treat you like a doormat (and probably eventually cheat on you), or if you're gonna be a man, be unapologetic about the other women in your life (and everything else you do and say!) which makes her more attracted to you, and work hard not to lose you.
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