I keep hearing that logic doesn't work so well on women, but emotions do.

Probably true.. I kind of have driven away my gf a few times because of this, but no big deal... Seems I just kind of gave her a little pressure and drove her away, but I thought I was fixing that problem of mine.

I'm overly logical. I don't know what it means to spark the emotions on the woman. Nor I know how to do it.

[rant]
Problem is.. that now I'm in a VERY delicate situation. She has extreme pressure from outside sources (work, studies, trying to go to a master's degree which is quite hard, etc) and she REALLY has a lot of anxiety problems now.

I mean just the other day because of an sms she got really pissed at me. She canceled at the moment that she should be arriving to our meeting, but she knew before hand that she couldn't make it. I said "ok, next time let me know a little sooner" exploded because of the pressure I gave her. (this is just one extreme example).


I think she's really getting really bad with the stress, and I'm afraid she will end it up with me, because I'm the only thing that she can get rid off right now, also from what I hear from a common friend.. that things are delicate.

And I'm getting a really really really big urge to get logical. I mean.. our problem is really easy.. lack of communications that makes you always wonder, not be able to make plans well, not being direct/totally honest when we communicate which leads to misunderstandings, taking to serious the sms because it's impossible to understand the real meaning of one message if you don't see/listen to the other person..

We need to tell each other what we expect of each other, and how should we get through these tense moments.(i'm quite busy as well, but maybe I don't have so much problems)

I give her a lot of space.. we see each other ... every 2 weeks. And talk.. every few days a few messages at most(except these last 5 days with no communication..she's ignoring me).

Yesterday she only left me a message on facebook saying "oh i've heard you've been sick(she heard from a friend). are you ok now?" then said a few things about health, tips, etc., and talked about the stuff she's doing lately. And that she's having troubles looking for a model, only found one, others are expensive, but she needs more.(she's a painter)
She lied about why she didn't answer the sms saying she didn't have the phone, but when i was with our common friend i saw her receiving my gf's messages. I don't care about the "lie"... i mean.. I read one some post that it doesn't matter why(and it was pretty convincing) and at least she's putting an excuse to it, at least she cared a bit.. I mean she's not going to say to me straight to my face that she ignored me.

Today I said I would go to an awesome milkshake place, said if she wanted to join she can let me know. No answer.


As I was saying.. I'm getting TOO tempted to go too logical on her. But I think it will make her go even more away, and give her the pressure that will make her tell me directly to F... off.

[/rant]


Shit I wanted to make this brief.. but ok, the question... how do you spark emotions in a woman? (secondary questions: What should I talk or not talk about? Should I never confront her of anything that has been going on lately? Should I say that we should talk about our problems and try to figure out what's going on?)

Maybe I can just forget about everything, still give space, offer myself to help with the model thing so she doesn't have to be stressed looking around for one and say that I'm here for anything she needs?


I'm really confused guys. Would love a little insight.


Forgot to mention that I might reply tomorrow her facebook message saying that yeah, been quite sick because been too stressed/busy. and then offer some help to her by being her model, saying that maybe she will feel a little more relaxed then.

The other thing that could happen is that she gets us to talk or meet(or when i tell her to meet) and she says she doesn't see this working because "I give her too much pressure", wouldn't know if confronting(i haven't given that much pressure..) or apologizing if I actually maybe have not on purpose... or....

argh, my brain is full of F....

I'm an AFC but here is my 2 cents on this anyway. One way to look at this is, if everything in her life is hard and stressing her out then you want to be the one thing that is easy. Don't be a doormat, but show her support (like you suggested with the model thing), listen to her problems but don't offer her your solutions to those problems (she wants to vent, not get answers) and give her the space she needs. Your contact is already limited so freezing her out to make her miss you probably won't have the result you are looking for. As for sparking emotions, avoid facebook/texting for this. You can escalate here slightly, but keep it light and MAKE SURE anything you text cannot be misconstrued. When you see her in person is where you want to bring spark her emotions. But you are going to have to read her body language/mood and make sure you match her level. If you can get a good vibe going then things are going to be a lot easier. Take her somewhere fun and keep the mood light, don't bring up the problems between you two, and if she starts to get negative just tell her to forget all that right now and just have fun. From there you are going to have to adapt to the situation and whatever happens and play your cards the best you can.

Like I said, I think your best course of action is to just make yourself the easiest part of her life. She is having a hard time and the last thing she needs (and you want) is for you to be another one of her problems. Cheers

Quite some sound advice there! Thanks a lot man.


I asked our to go to have some awesome milkshakes last night with me. Got an answer today(after 6 days of her silence) saying that she just saw the message(my ass ) and kept saying "I won't have any milkshakes before my test. You know I have a test, right" (she talks about her test 24/7, of course I do)

I deduce that's her telling me "i'm busy, don't wanna meet". anyways later tonight I will send her a message. Not saying anything about her today's message, but about the offering myself to help a but with the modeling thing. Because as you said..don't bring up the problems, and don't offer solutions(like saying... 'I think you should take a break once in a while')


Thanks a lot bro.

No problem. Your goal is to make her feel positive emotions when she is around you so that she will associate you with those emotions. It may take some time but keep at it. Good luck dude.