Hey guys. I've been seeing/dating this girl for about 6 weeks. Shes a 9 on a bad day. In the beginning I made all the right moves and got her attracted right away. We have been hanging out and she is learning more and more about me. Then out of the blue her ex calls her and takes away a significant chunk of the attraction I had built up. Since she already knows about my life it's hard to be mysterious to keep myself interesting and continue to build attraction. So my first question is, how can I become mysterious again? Or should I use a different approach?

Next thing. She is timid. I have to initiate everything (except texting) sex, kissing, touching and even most of our dates/hanging out. She drops me subtle hints like "what are you doing later?" and shit like that but almost never initiates herself. It's kind of annoying. What should I do to make her initiate? Should I just completely stop initiating? This past week I've already cut down drastically, and I can continue to do it more. What should I do here?

I will answer your two question in the exact same way.

Dont be too avaiable. Busy guy. You have better things to do. She is not your world, so she doesnt come first.

If she is a 9 in bad day, she is not timid specially to a guy she has sex. So stop playing this game and freeze her out. really bad the fact you be the one that iniatiate everthing it means you care more, ergo she has all the power.

And who cares about her ex? So i hope you dont show weakness on that topic.

She isn't over her ex so that call did a lot of damage. He called her and then blocked her number so she was all messed up. I don't care about him and I haven't let that situation change anything on my end but it did detract from her attraction. She isn't my girlfriend either we just hang out and have fun with each other at the moment. Basically no strings sex with some wierd semi-romance we like each other kind of relationship... but I always have to initiate, annoying. And I want to make her chase me again like she was before so I've made myself more scarce, but I don't think I am doing it efficiently.

Is there anything I can read up on about efficiently freezing a girl out who you have been hanging out with (not LMR, I rarely get that)? Like, how long do I freeze her out? What do I do when she texts/calls or when I see her at the gym? Freezing her out is exactly what I want to do, thanks.

Oh I forgot to mention, since I started becoming more scarce she has been the first to text me every day, even if it takes longer than it used to when she was chasing me. However, the physical contact and hang outs I still have to initiate. If she is texting me everyday I also need to freeze her out here, how?

Take time responding to her txt, which means if she send a message you take half hour , if she takes some time you double the time.

If you see on the gym act normally.

Flake a few times don’t be to eager. Which means, you don’t arrange anything, but if she arranges you go, on a proportion 2vs1 until it becomes something more and then you can balanced it.

Because if you freeze her out like that, she probably would be running to her ex.

You want her to miss you, so freeze her in your case doesn’t mean cutting contact totally, like an ex for example, she just have to feel something changed, and be able to do something.

I’m going to give you a little tip I did to a girl I was having sex at the time, but she still had feelings for ex. And her ex was constantly trying to go to a cofee(sex)

If she mentions him. Tell her she should go and meet him, but if anything happens between them, the thing betweens you and her will be lost, but you are still going to be with her as friend but your pride will never let you accept her back as women. Then I gave her some crappy psychology that he is just fantasy, and will grow and grow, try to show her , he was only a human. And she can live like that so she should go and see what happens.

Thanks for the feedback. I was reading about freezing out and I definitely don't want to do that completely. I have been responding less/slowly to texts and I'm not going to ask her to hangout until Saturday night. She already noticed a change a little bit I think (before I even posted on here). She randomly asked me if I was ok after we hadn't sent a message in several hours on Sunday. She is a text fiend and we usually text all day once she gets out of work. I still text her throughout the day just a lot less frequently. How long will it take for this to start getting results?

Another thing I was wondering, since I always have to initiate physical contact (cuddle/sex/kiss) does that even matter? I felt that it was annoying and that if she was more interested she would initiate but I can also look at it as I'm the man and I know what I want and I'll go for it. She never resists my advances and I've even done some experimenting on her and I'm not sure what it means. If I don't initiate then we will just lay there next to each other hardly touching (even for an entire movie), but as soon as I initiate she dives into my armpit and tangles her legs with mine and won't let go. How do I interpret that?

You are a man, this is normally left for you to do. If she is really timid, her initiating this type of behavoiur will come in time when she is more comfortable. I dated a girl for 4 years and I would have to initiate 70% of the time (I'm talking sexually stuff only) Biotches love to cuddle, hold hands, all that annoying shit so I would give that one some time.

Yea I've been thinking about this and I guess I was over thinking it.

She has initiated texts every single day since I got scarce, still hasn't initiated a hangout but it hasn't been long. The main thing with this girl is that she isn't ready to get into a committed relationship yet. This is ultimately what I want but I am not in a hurry. I like getting to know her better and I have fun with her every time we hang out. She needs time to get over her ex and I get that but I don't want to fall into the f-zone while she does this. I also don't want to get stuck in a "friends with benefits" relationship. I'm fine with it for the time being while we are still just beginning to see each other, but I don't want to get "stuck" here. I think this will hinder progress in the relationship I have with her as well as the development of relationships with other girls.

With this outcome in mind, how should I play this one?