yo me again .. lol.. i really appreciate it if you can give any any comments

i need stop to obsessing about this woman .. we invested alot in eachother...( me little bit more)

anyway...she has a fucking huge ego and cannot be trusted ... point is .. i just looked at some of our interactions...she constantly is playing games she is constantly talking about sex .... in most cases im just not seeing it... she wants me to lead to sex in a solid and conrete manner

me projecting my ideals on her even in subtle ways because i already was invested before i fixed some innergame issues. in a very deep subtle deep way i want a relationship with her... i had sex with girls before that didn't mean anything... if im going to fuck her i know i will get attached. at the same time i just want a meaningless fuck lol

she plays the game of testing me constantly and trying to make me give her ego boosts and sex.. powerplay .... i play the game of going sexual and going all relationship at the same time... rejecting most of her sexual messages ....we are gaming eachother... difference between me and her is that i take it more personal since i invested a bit more.... she is just a egocentric insecure person.. i don't even really care... im just having these fucking thoughts and getting attached.

im aware of this everytime .. but i keep running in these fucking circles switching from intentions..( with most things in my life )

if you say delete her ok i can do that... she is who she is .. if shes egocentric and manipulative then who gives a fuck ? she probably got 100 times more issues then me but that isn't important.

but i cannot feel like i can run away from every bad external influence that doesn't fit in my life ? you get where im going .. i keep running in fucking circles... like i did for the last few years.

im struggling between focussing on external shit and focussing on my inner game... this happens with every fucking woman i meet...and i let it make me insecure.

this woman isn't going to talk to me for 3 months withtout getting anything in return.. lately im not giving in to her ego boost games. She talks alot about sex but i do not see it... i just can't see it...it doesn't register in my mind... lol...

last conversation she even said i could do a fuck without emotions.. im strong enough to do it.. wtf...

I DIDNT EVEN KNEW IT .. IT DIDN'T FUCKING REGISTERED IN MY BRAIN UNTILL I READ IT AGAIN THIS MORNING...

lol i know i am lying to myself ...

if anyone can point out this inner game issue ... im trying to fix this one particular issue for like 4 years and it keeps fucking popping up.. switching between external and internal views , getting needy and indifferent..

the fun thing is .. at the same time my external game improves .. im more the leader .. im more dominant etc ... i fucking kill woman one on one but at the same time i feel by inner game getting fucked up ... the result is : lover/hater

like i said im aware... but i seem unable to fix shit.. untill i haven't fixed it i cannot have normal relationships with woman

the external issue is easily fixed .. i rejected her ( lol like 4 times in total ) recently i rejected her as well.. even told her she played alot of games but it was too predictable and boring... i just fucking talk to her again, tell her i just wanted sex but i played all these games because im getting a fucking ego boost out of it....

(because especially in our last few interactions i was manning up and leading ALOT , and of course she gets in relationship mode - and i get into a relationship i probably do not want in the first place)

... WHICH is TRUE .. because everytime i talked to her i feel good for a few days..

everytime i talked to woman i feel good for a few days .. and at the end of the week when im sitting at home i feel like shit for not particular reason just because i cannot point or fix this issue ASAP... cutting external influences out of my life is just too easy - that doesn't fix my inner issue...

i need to maintain self discipline .. not investing in her anymore.. deleting isn't the solution... it's just a weak ass solution right now

because in the end WHY do i give a fuck about this woman in particular.. ? why am i affected ?

and im probably very very stuck into this mind pattern otherwise woman wouldn't be attracted to me... they are attracted to guys who are 100 % stubborn in their beliefs. Handling woman isn't the problem here anymore .. i just called her on her bullshit and lead.. next time even more straight cutting bullshit..

the problem is how im handling myself when im dealing with external things ( no matter how fucked up they are )

so what is my question

what do you see ?

i know alot of psychology and stuff... i read hundreds if not thousands of hours of material.... Knowledge and intelligence is the enemy here because all these fucking information is just one extra layer on the issue... my ego makes it more complex because of this.... i need the truth.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

lol .. that's because it's so complex... even tho im aware i have no idea how to handle this shit.

the point is ... she keeps talking to me for 3 months , why ?
next point is .. why keep i talking to someone for 3 months that makes me feel like shit ?

i play all these weird little games with myself .. switching to different attention and intention.... and that is in the end what makes me feel like shit someone needs to punch through my wall of bullshit .. smack me in the face

The external issue isn't important .. just a woman blabla.. i already have written down the solution...
The internal issue is more important... im am my own psychologist but somehow i cannot cut through all these delusional ego-ish paradimes and behaviour patterns...

if you see something ridicilious just point it out...maybe the relationship between words and intentions.


here is how it feels ... you walk in mid winter into a cold lake ... you feel that it is warm.... you fucking know that it's cold because it's winter. But somehow it feels warm and you 100 % belief this...
you get what i mean ?

keep improving my life doesn't work because everything is just a layer on this extra bullshit... if i go out sarging im either :

1. putting a huge bandage on a wound.. getting approval and sex from woman
2. or im fucking myself up because im more aware of these issues

my sarging life with woman is just a aspect of it...like i mensioned before i get a huge ego boost when i game woman... but im aware of this issue and feel insecure because of it - it affects confidence - and now im not approaching / really getting the woman and i feel even more like shit because :

1. i stopped myself from getting a ego boost but also stopped myself from having alot of fun with other people
2. im even more aware of this issue and more frustrated because it's repeating everytime without me really finding the cause.

both are terrible and not really motivating.
another thing is if im not mindfull or observing my ego.. if im studying maths or whatever i lose control over my brain and thoughts and my brain backward rationalize it like the woman are the problem...

yes woman are a problem.. not all woman are good... but the main point is how i feel in my own skin and that has nothing to do with anyone else but me. it's also hard to take responsilbity for this because some woman i know are fucked up - taking responsilibity feels like saying those woman are cool and im the only one being fucked up ..

you get what i mean ?

this issue is fucking my life up so much right now because im aware of it ...
just say what you think .. i don't care if you are new to this forum or not... i don't care how succefull you are... i appreciate every comment. I written this post without thinking about it... i had the tendancy to sent her a message about how fucked up she is ( lol ) .. instead i decided to come to this forum and write down what comes to mind.

if i read my own post over and over i have a clear head and im in control .. but when im doing something else right , turning my eyes of reading it i instantly get fucked up by all these obsessive, needy, hate , indifferent, powerplay like thoughts.

i visited a therapist / psychologist and she didn't knew how to deal with this problem.. It's all in my head.

if you hand me the solution straight on i will suck your dick one day .. i promise

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Hey Lode
Why don't you try something different this time?

By that I mean, if she is worth it, try do this the proper way....get what I mean?
Get to know her as a person if she will allow you too...if she doesn't and just wants games then treat her that way. But first, make a real effort to connect with her and learn about her if you haven't already.

Assuming you have, and you know abit about each other, and assuming you still like her...why not put the chips down and say "You know what? Time to go for a REAL risk" and maybe...I don't know if this is the answer you're looking for...but maybe just CONSIDER the possibility that you and her could indeed lead a very fulfilling and meaningful relationship. You can both have an impact on each others lives.

To me it sounds like maybe you are more than just face-value interested.
If I have sensed this correctly, then go for it man, and go for it with full force and full intent on making it work.

Give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that maybe, she might be the one who you spend a lot of time with. You don't know.
It may work in your favor, in which case
a) You could be the happiest guy in the world during the course of the relationship
b) Realise during the relationship that she isn't worth it, you misjudged her, and you leave. BUT be careful, before doing this you still have a lot to consider. Don't make the mistake I nearly made where I thought
"My girlfriend is hanging out with another guy? I'm breaking up with her NOW and finding someone better"
Instead of that usual approach (which ended all previous of my relationships) I communicated with her, and then once she understood where I was coming from she completely ceased seeing other guys at all.

The point is, she didn't know it bothered me, but I felt...I really FELT like she was doing it on purpose. That was my own paranoia though I learnt, due to not trusting girls. I am so proud I didn't leave her because so far, a couple weeks down the track, things seem close to perfect and that issue we had - it's been resolved.

You seem like a very intelligent person. Very good at problem solving.
So utilize this.
Go into a relationship. If things don't work out, try the smart move of resolving the problem before jumping to a conclusion that you can do better. Of course you CAN do better always, but first we gotta work at what's in front of us. Use our interpersonal intelligence (classified as one of the 7 forms of intelligence) to fix the issue, or at least give it our best shot, before moving on.

If she rejects you - you have lost nothing and you can move on anyway or just keep her as a fuck buddy.
If she wants a relationship - you gotta give it a better shot than ever. Reduce the games, but essentially stay the same person. You have to trust her, and love her as she deserves, until she proves that she does not deserve it.
By loving, you won't drive her away but bring her closer. Assuming you're not being needy that is, but you already know that.

Of course, you need to know her first. The advice I have given is assuming that you know her well and like her for who she is.

I don't mean to offend you (if you get offended) if I am by saying this...but if you are considering keeping this one - Don't be afraid and give it your full efforts with intentions of making it work. Regardless on whether or not you get fucked over or fucking married in the future.

For the first time in my life I am trying this stuff out myself with a girl I recently met.
Good luck. Hope I wasn't completely off the topic with what you were talking about...but we will see.

century..

i totally get where you are coming from, even tho you are focussing more on the external .. you tell me to stop thinking ahead and just go for it and see where it will bring me. i stop playing games and stop projecting all these inner game problems onto ('' i was going to say -her'' but i change it to : )im not going to project all this shit on woman anymore. but i do it in a unconcious fashion .. i have not much control over it , i just keep doing it more but in another manner. here is the point .. she is more emotional and open to me during last few conversations...BUT like i said she never stopped playing games.. she says things but act different... i have trust issues otherwise i wouldn't think about this .. i mean hell , she could act different because she's insecure - i don't exactly know why. She never stops playing games.. sometimes she completely ignore and sometimes she's clingy as fuck...

i cannot trust her... the point is ... why do i care about not trusting her ? why don't i stop playing fucking games ? I think i do not trust myself because of the above written down issues... if i meet her again im not going to apologize to her.. she plays games as well..im just going to say that im actually getting ego boosts out of messing around with her.

she is not important in this whole matter... i mean i like talking to her but she's not going to fix my issues... she's only projecting her games and issues on me making it more worse for me to solve my own shit.

i do agree with you about just being open, straighforward to woman no matter what. im going to write it down in the palm of my hand. '' STOP PLAYING GAMES.. CHILL OUT''..

century i read your reply and I DID NOT LIKE IT ALL .. i know have good points... reading your reply gave me these thoughts : this whole thread started out with '' her '' '' she '' but now it's going more to woman in general... another game of me is that i make it personal - pointing towards one person - like they are repsonsible for my experience... but in reality im just projecting it onto every woman i meet

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I'm not an expert on pickup, but do you only game women because of the ego boost or do you actually enjoy it while your doing it.

_________________
The best way to initiate kino, is...

step 1) Take your hand
step 2) Place hand on girl
step 3) ?????
step 4) PROFIT
-Pumpington

she behaves very mixed ... it could be all of those... but again she isn't really important...she keeps escalating my ass in a sexual way... maybe it's games or not , but you do not go sexual on a comfort guy. im not submissive in nature, im not a emotional tampon.. i told her already im not going to talk about her issues and im not her psychologist... she always iniate some sexual energy in our interaction - maybe it's a game maybe not.

like i said before i rejected her like 4 times ..2 times while she was trying to seal the deal. and she isn't even fucking important she just a woman... now i read you post i realise that : i make her important just to cover up my own issues and intentions.

it's not about the woman... it's about my perspective... my inner game issues and why im not making the right descision based on that instead of all these games and shit. I agree with the lack of self-respect but i have no idea where it's coming from.
i think about the rest of your stuff later .. i need a break.. brains are fried.

im just more worried with how i feel and with my view of the world and that is my focus..my retarded brain wants to focus on external shit which isn't important. if i could solve all my issues by making her dissapear i would do it without thinking about it. but like i said... getting her out of my life isn't going to solve anything , getting her into my life doesn't solve my issues either.

Look she plays games .. she's manipulative.. that's just how experienced woman with good game are in general... If she would be really a bad influence i would cut her out of my life , she doesn't do anything to me... she just plays games trying to make me needy and get her ego boost.

like i said : i make her important just to cover up my own issues and intentions....first few weeks interacting with her i didn't see myself playing all these games until kasabi told me about it... it's not about the woman .. it's about my game. If you stick to something you can prevent growth because you are holding on to something...getting her out of my life is exact the opposite.. then i feel like i running away for shit because im affected.

lol you guys are directing me to somewhere, the more i read replies the more frustrating and angry i get

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

both....

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I do think too much
i do worry too much
i do analyze too much

it's true that i don't take much action...but like i said before if i do not take action i feel totally fucked... if i take action i feel just as fucked...because of some psychological deep rooted games and issue...but i think you are right .. it's better to take action and feel like shit than to not take action and feel like shit... im going to take action no matter what.

i do not want to mension her at all .. some replies focussed on her .. on something external - i didn't liked those replies.. at all..

i mension and focus on her to get a excuse and to blame shit instead of myself - it's a game im playing... and it happens in reaction - i don't have power over it untill it happens and by then it's too late. I do remember my previous girlfriend... i was playing the same games with her not seeing my own issues.
if we talk about her .. i talk to her for about 2 months... last few weeks she promised me to hang out at her place multiple times...agreed , later i flaked on her by being straight on her games - i just didn't trust her and flaked. didn't spoke to her for 2 or 3 weeks... after that i spoke to her 3 times .. last time she was more honest.. more emotional , less bullsthitting .. but still going sexual on me...talking about her divorce ( me telling her to stfu and that she made the right descision , cutting off the topic) she sent me text messages that she's going to pick me up and hang out at her place somewhere soon...

i was like wtf .. she said/ promised such thing many times...a week later i texted her how she's doing ( cocky context ) no reaction .. so 6 hours later i rejected her... told her she is bullshitting too much - told her it's getting boring and im not interested in her anymore....

why the fuck do i care ? i asked how she's doing and i got no reply... hours later i just called her on her games and shit.... but if you read that ... i responded in a few hours .. i didn't wait a day or 2.. even if she doesn't respond ( most of the times) it shouldn't be a big deal. she's making a big deal of it by making promises.. im making a big deal out of it by being impatient...

FACT REMAINS THAT I SHOULDN'T CARE.... i cared less about some break up with ex-GFs .. why the fuck do i even care that much ? even if she's running around with a pineapple in her ass and spitting fire from her mouth screaming she's gonna rape me - i shouldn't be affected.. could be she does have a boyfriend but she's lying about...could be she is still married... like i said she cannot be trusted.. could be she likes me too much and she flakes on my ass fo some particular reason. it has no point focussing on her....

it's hard to see if it's because my games i played... or because it's about her behaviour and games... i flake on her and she flakes on me ./. vice versa... like i said i didn't even see she was gonig sexual on me.. it didn't register. ' look if i met a nice woman who was direct .. straightforward.. there wouldn't be all this flaking and nonsense.. i would be much happier that's a fact. But this fact and her behaviour doesn't explain my inner game issues...she does reinforce those issues .. that is true... in those 2 or 3 weeks where i didn't talked to her i felt much better.

im better off without her in my life at least for the moment... i don't need negative people or people who play all kind of games in my life. she's long distance as well and i really don't like that long term to be honest..
well i was just walking outside like 30 minutes ago...instead of focussing on my internal if start focussing on external shit - out of nothing i start pondering about her.. and a few minutes later i felt like i wasn't in control .. i felt overwhelmed by life - college - people - thoughts.. all kinds of shit... and instantly i felt like insecure i have no clue why..

i do know that im extremely snappy towards my parents a few minutes ago ( happens alot ) .. i had this before.. i also had alot of thoughts how i do not like my parents, i had those thoughts for many years... i never really liked the enviroment i was in and it's kind of negative... sometimes im just more positive and more happy when i stay in my own house for days and weeks not meeting family and friends.. in those moments i just find more peace and more meaning...i cannot find the energy to deal with everything at once.

i still have a fucked up financial situation as a result from a bad relationship years ago..also had a accident and lost a big piece of bone in my elbow ruining my sports career. I had many shit things happening to me where i do not have control over... once i accepted it in order to take action i just freeze ... like there are other issues and emotions coming up while taking action..

on day 1 i can study.. concentrate .. focus.. just take massive action
on day 2 i cannot do anything.. im just paralyzed .. my brain doesn't work , i cannot remember shit.

while dealing with thoughts about dating - i have to admit im not really ok with my life right now in general.. I have a great core personality which i build over the years and a huge load of knowledge... but aside from that it's total shit - it could be worse but it's not where i want to be.

now it just hitted me
my mom make excuses about everything .. even about the smallest thing and she ponders over it like 20 times before she accepts... a day later she does the exact same thing without solving anything...my mom does not like her relationship with my dad but she keeps being with him and on a young age i could clearly see that ( emotions coming up) ...as a kid i never like them being together and i wouldn't give a shit if they divorced- i would be happy about it.

My mom and dad both have are lying to eachother and themself... of course this is my perspective of things but even on this day i can clearly see my mom complaining everyday for the last 14 ( maybe more) years...

i just hate my dad even tho he's a nice guy

he is not confident .. courageous.. social .. caring.. never shows emotions.. i hate it how he treats my mom - my mom has a shit personality but my dad is total shit in the way he carries himself though life. he has 0% clue about woman.. he does not understand people and woman in general..they both are never really supportive - they only want to pay shit and invite me to dinner. i didn't had a normal conversation with my dad for the last 14 years ( emotions coming up lol ). on some point i seriously haven't talked to him for months or a year....

They never really raised me .. they told me all these fucking ferrytales to be nice to people and woman .. fucking ferrytales about if you get a good career you will have high status blabla.. when i was 10 i didn't believe any of it... i did not really trust people around me..

my parents raised me until i was 8 or 9 years old... at that age normal communication stopped .. i just never really had interactions with my parents so i often go outside and travel.. this is what i did when i was young i always walked away as a baby and i really like travel.. i didn't travelled for the last 4 years ( except solo sarging ). i hung out with wrong people who we older than me 16 years old people.. often getting into trouble but also having fun.

aside from that i was quitte a loner on ( and from ) my 10th year... my parents never really learned me anything .. they never give me compliments , they never inspired or acted like creative... in most cases it was just me walking around with my wolf ( dog hybrid) outside for hours.. observing nature and how i thought...

this is the reason why i can easily see what people think and doing what they do because from a young age i was cut off from family, friends and social contacts in general .. i only had travel , nature , my dog , my mind and especially my imagination...(now as im typing this all i don't think or feel about her or woman in general .. i just feel in the moment).

my family was wealthy... people fucking eachother over and shit.. people who i really like i lost contact with on young age due death or because my parents were being fucking anti-social...i found it extremely weird how my friends their dads treated my friends i never had such contact ... the first birthday of my first girlfriend .. i was just amazed how family treated eachother and how people were ... i never had experienced any of it... my family, parents always put me down...alot of people put me down in general.. calling me a failure or that i cannot achieve anything... i never really got much attention from family , parents or people.. if i did got attention it was often negative attention.

my mom even made jokes on me having autism and shit in front of my family .. it wasn't even funny...i never felt welcome , i loved going to my best friend his home, escaping all that shit. I never felt home in society in general... i feel much more peace when im outdoors..traveling or camping in nature.. probably just escaping shit

the point is i just had to raise myself into maturity from my 10th year... people never told me how the world was like or how shit worked.. i go out and do stuff. . practice buddhism and meditation from a early age i don't know where i got the idea from but i found it somewhere .. maybe in a magazine... getting interested in philosophy and all kind of stuff had too much freaking time . i also got addicted to video games lol...in most cases i only looked at my certain part of reality or i was escaping to my imagnation and knowledge.. always thinking about how the universe works if there is a god and if there is a spirit world....im also a extremely creative person .. if i manage to express my emotions i can easily write books in days or weeks, create new ideas and concepts with my mind...

to give you an idea on how good i was raised .. im dutch.. but on my 10th lifeyear my english was better than my dutch just because there wan't much communication going on.. no social practices.. i hated fucking school always.. they only learned you retarded stuff in most cases.

i was into sports .. extremely efficient in every sport, doing all kinds of sports...trainers and people in general praised me for my loyalty, dedication and aggresive savy and talent in general .. which is kind of weird because besides from sports im actually quitte un-motivated.. PUA was the only external thing i followed throught on.

i never was social..never had many friends.. when i need to i can be very social but in most cases i disliked human contact.. i never had many friends.. often sit next to woman in class. I was regarded very low status but i always found ways to fuckover and manipulate people who were trying to put me down...

now i think back i was sexually active when i was 6 or 7 years old.. start masturbating and doing things.. being sexually attracted to older woman from a young age... i never liked young woman in class or school, i thought about it but i never was really attracted to them... i was always attracted to female teachers on school... even from that young age ( 7 or 8 ) to the present day . im attracted to older woman in general... i do not care what younger woman do.. if a older woman/ milf/ cougar does something to me im way more affected.

started really getting into martial arts when i was 16.. got more discpline willpower in general.. from here my life started being better just because i met alot of people how were constructive...my martial arts teacher , i didn't talked alot to him but i saw him more like my dad - always trying to get his approval... still to this day i find his approval much more important than my dads or moms... i got interested in fighting, arts , fencing , swordfighting , military history and bad movies...

got my first girl when i was 17 .. before it got serious my best friend fucked her... after that period i just worked different jobs...in the military.. going through different courses and studies... but never really finished anything. i never really like reality and i never adapted to society... always trying to make society adept to me- the reason why i got out of the military is just because i had my own ways of doing - i was too stubborn and always looking for travel and challenges.

at a certain period i was pretty happy in my life.. i was a ignorant of alot of things .. i wasn't really mature.. on my 19th year i got a GF .. engaged.. she turned out to be this psychological disaster totally fucking me up emotionally. after a suicide attempt i was fucking angry on everything... i was laying on the hospital wanting things to change..then i started thinking about things .. how to end suffering - finding a new GF.. i tried some sarging on my own but it never worked... after that got really into pickup and solo sarging - joining this forum.

im actually stunned how fast i recovered..

but alot of issues from young and realy age .. some issues from 4 years ago i still have to deal with... i never fixed my inner game issues when i was totally fucking up. last 5 to 6 years im really cleaning up my psychological mess that my parents and failed realtionship created for me.. financially , emotionally and psychological....never experienced real emotions, objectifying everything... about 1 year ago i had to go through alot of un-processed emotions that were very old.

as im typing this right now suddenly i feel like this isn't true .. like it never happend .. right now im getting distracted again thinking about woman and other shit. my focus again tries to fix on external shit...

this while story while im typing i was totally in the moment.. totally clear and to the point...not feeling bad or distracted at all... actually i feel completely tired like i want to sleep.

anyway this is a extremely short version....im always somekind of nomad.. not really attaching to stuff and always on the move.. when i stand still ( as it is the case for the last 4 or 4 years ) i feel depressed...

in order to get out of all the external negativity i cannot isolate myself like i did for many years... but i also can't stay in it... my parents aren't bad people they themselfs do not know they are negative people BUT i reality they really are... washing my clothes or paying my stuff doesn't make you a better parent or less negative. i do not have many people in my life and it's extremely difficult to cut them out of my life...especially when it comes to woman who i really relate to... i do not really appreciate contact with other humans in general ( in most cases) .. i do not like talking to parents or family.. i almost never really call or text people except one friend in particular...

i just don't see me tell my parents they fucked up... i have done it before but they never admit it... they live in denial. i always sensed that my dad didn't really want me in his life... from a very early age.

if some shit that was out of control didn't happen to me out was not into this mess... i just lost alot of meaning and goals last year....

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

i agree
the past doesn't equal the future and it surely doesn't have anything to do with the present moment.

when im doing something... taking action on some part of my life those old patterns show up.. at this point im struggling with that and i cannot continue taking action. for many years it was a unconcious process ... the good thing is that im concious of it - i can see issues but that doesn't mean i have the solution directly at hand

but awareness is the key indeed.

you are asking alot of good questions... to be honest a year ( or 2) ago i could answer each of those questions ... but right now i can't , since im really into inner game stuff and looking deep everything changed..i know i have to re-invent myself - i can feel it. For years i really have been in tune with myself but since last year i just got lost ..it's fucking hard to do such thing while all these pressures of society are on me... it's not like i can walk off and think about it...

but aside from that.. i need to do it otherwise i will not get anywhere...i have the knowledge and techniques so that's a +. Materials, books and shit will not help me .. i need to spend time with my own mind again.. without any outside influences totally true... after a row a bad relationship i really regressed.. getting more experience and intuition but missing out on alot of conciousness and energy. i cannot handle such relationship right now... thanks

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Very good conclusion Lode, and I agree. It's pretty much a change within myself that I'm currently making also, due to having severe trust issues. They are diminishing
I guess once you realise that it's okay to leave yourself open to get hurt, you don't mind it as much, and you can be happier up until that moment that you eventually do get hurt. Although when you get hurt it may be worse because you were more invested...it's better than not experiencing the feeling of care for your girl. Living in fear of what "might" happen due to what's happened in the past, or what is statistically likely.
I guess what also helped me was this thought:
"Girls have cheated on heaps of guys on the past...but wait a sec - that doesn't necessarily mean they are going to cheat on me. Why? Because I am a genuinely cool guy. I make an impact on people. I'm becoming a Civil Engineer and whether I have a woman or not in the future, will be completely self reliant. And that's rare. So if she were to cheat on me (which I don't think she would because of mentioned qualities), it is truthfully - and I honestly believe - that she won't find any other guy as good as me who is going to treat her the same"

And in your position Lode, you can say the same thing. Assuming what you've told me is true lol, you're quite knowledgeable both in science and the arts, and unlike a huge percentage of the global population you seem to have a true conscience, and a determination to change for the better - that's evident. Any girl who you treat well who craves other dick is literally a waste of time. And they won't all be like that...even if 60% are, they aren't all like that.

Now, it's very possible that my thought process to fix my internal issue may not be accepted by you (due to ya know, whatever differences we have), but regardless..goodluck in solving your mystery.
The first step always, however, will be to first understand that when in a good relationship, the pros throughout honestly outweigh any mess it could ever end up in.
And if that happens, you start the whole thing over Just like a business.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result( im sure you've heard this before)

I didnt read every post, but i got the gist of things.. and i was there with you 100% up until recently.. I decided i would do something different to build me up and reduce my attachment.

Them moment, I got to a point where i would begin to like a girl, enough to post about them like you are.. I would delete them out of my life, never call text ever again. I did this over and over until it stuck. And now i have a lot more sex with a lot more women.

If you can't uphold your frame, you'll find yourself in a stressful, dead end relationship. Which is more harmful to you than anything else..

Do what you want, but i'd suggest tossing this chick.. Or send her all or nothing text message " This is a lil much for me, im interesting in the sex not the mushy stuff, im free tuesday at 8 if you wanna bang" and don't reply to nothing she says, even if she agrees. Just call her on tuesday and take care of business.

That text has worked for me sometimes, sometimes it hasn't.

If you're really trying to break your cycle i suggest you give it a shot.

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Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

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truer words have never been spoken

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

i exactly have done what you said last week . just told her im in for banging.. got into a sex relationship aka fuckbuddy... wrote a lay report about it lol... i never write lay reports.. but i really like this experience so i decided to write it down
unavoidable-romance-vt119963.html?highlight=

very good advice... i've also noticed that if you are not getting return on your investments, just cut the crap and be 100 % direct and straight.

lol @ khuram changing names and getting deleted everytime
she turned out to be a great person... i really like the experience of meeting her... i learned to enjoy woman and interactions on a whole new level... learned to like other music.. The biggest thing i learned is to go after new experiences.

of course it's very likely i will never see or speak to her again. i do not want to get into a relalationship anyway because i need to get my own shit together...it was worth the lesson and the experience... im defenitly going to try new things in life, going to dance parties more often, take up dancing lessons again. The whole experience and just by me taking risks showed me how fun life can be if you just go out and do it - trust the experience a 100 %.

stop judging things if they are value or not.... and just be.

and really really appreciate relationships .. wether they are love , sex or friend relationships. Alot of people who you get close or open with will tell you alot about you.

freaking awesome .. re-light my fire whoo

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Fucking ace
Good stuff champ