I'm sure you have been in this situation at some point

Anyway, my girlfriend has a guy who is very defensive of her, and is infatuated by her. I thought it easier to simply post the conversation (roughly) to give you an idea on what's going on, to aid you in helping me come to some sort of conclusion.
Here is nearly exactly what she told me:

Her: "A few years ago he asked me out, but I rejected him. After that we became closer as friends, and we hung out a bit more...but it's a little strange, because sometimes he hugs me, or says "I love you"...and I wonder whether he's lost interest. Also, he had a girlfriend who looked very similar to me. I'm sure that's a coincidence, but it was a little strange. Anyway, he has asked me to hang out sometime next saturday, and I wanted to bring it up with you first to make sure you're okay with it"

I replied
"Of course that's okay. I have total trust in you. I appreciate you asking, but I'm not here to stop you hanging out with friends haha"

and she said
"Yeah I know...but this one worries me a little. He is a very respectful guy and all, but sometimes he seems a little overly defensive of me. He threatened to beat up my ex boyfriend after finding out that he was a dick to me..." etc etc

So basically,
1. She is hanging out with him in one week.
2. He obviously likes her
3. She told me the details about him

Should I be worried at all? He is physically a good looking guy.
I don't know what his game is like, but I'm guessing quite bad.
She is very into me, so I doubt she will do anything....I suppose there is a chance, but I don't REALLY think she would as it's quite obvious she properly loves me.

But yeah - would you worry?

Personally, I'm worried he will kino flirt, and she will tell me (eg something like "He tried hugging me from behind" or whatever), and that I might over react and make the situation bad for myself.
Is there anything I should do to completely lower the chances of anything happening?

And lets just assume that he DOES try something inappropriate (like kiss her or whatever), is it acceptable for me to physically tell him to back off? I don't know if you guys are now going to jump down my throat and call me self conscious for considering that or whatever lol... but hitting on another guy's girlfriend is a complete lack of respect as far as I've been brought up and in that particular case, by my morals, I would hit him. However, even so.. I don't want to look like a tool in front of my girlfriend either...Is this morally acceptable behavior considering the circumstances?

Thank's guys, just want a couple opinions.

Man forget that don't let your girl hang out with that dude. Tell her your having second thoughts and you think it's a bad idea.

Thats good you trust your girl and all but don't trust this guy he's already proved he can't be trusted. He sounds obsessed and tries to control your girl even though he's not with her.

Think about this what does guy have to talk about with your girl? .. "Absolutely nothing...." He knows you're her boyfriend he didn't invite you. He's basically said fuck you i'm gonna holla at your girl. I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of getting to hang out with your girl one on one. If you let your girl go you're pratically handing her over the wolves.

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

I understand exactly where you're coming from Reo

...but by not letting her hang out with him - isn't that showing her that I'm insecure about my relationship?
ie she will think that I believe that he might have what it takes to take her from me, hinting out that he's a better guy than I am.

Also - I came up with another idea just now, which incorporates your strategy, but seems less controlling. Tell me what you think:
1. I find out what day he wants to meet up (lets just say Saturday)
2. A few days before that time (Saturday), I seduce my own girlfriend by telling her what I'm going to do to her etc get her warmed up and what not.
3. Then, when she's getting hot, say "Lets meet up on Saturday"
4. When she says "I've organise to see (insert faggoty name here) on Saturday baby ", I say "Well...you can have an awkward hang out sesh with him, or you could pretend somethings come up and fuck your boyfriend instead. I'll let you decide" sorta thing.

Good plan?

sounds like too much work...lol i think you should just let her know that if anything happens yo will fuck faggot boy up...say that in a different way. let her know you're not insecure of the relationship, but if faggot boy fucks up you're not afraid of confrontation. and if something does happen, yes there needs to be a confrontation. she is [b]YOUR[/b] girl


just my opinion

Thanks guys, sounds good.

Let her go with her friend, the more you tell her NO the more she will wants it, its simple. You did the right thing but you should talk to her and tell her that “ there relationship cant have the “ hugs and the I love you” she will have to talk to him and put them bounds because you find that unacceptable and if was the other way around she wouldn’t feel that comfortable.

There aren't many red flags quite like telling a girl she can't hang out with someone. But she says she has no interest, in fact if anything it sounds like she is more worried that he will become attached than anything else. The most involved i could see you getting without turning her is to ask her to let this guy know that she has no interest in him. Then you're not insecure, in fact you are trying to be nice to him by having your girlfriend spare this dude any lingering pain.

If you are only worried because he is good looking, give yourself and your girl more credit for having a strong relationship. You meet good looking women all the time and dont cheat, she meets good looking guys all the time and won't cheat, so you're fine.

I can see why you would worry, frankly, I think that I would worry too. But not because I dont trust her but because that guy could be trouble.

About LETTING, anyone do anything, that is not cool. She can decide whatever she want to do with her life, you do not own her. All you can do is tell her that you dont like it.

However, if you really trust her, then trust her. If you dont trust her, I cant understand why you told her that you do.

She will meet masses of men who could be interested every day so she will have plenty of chances to cheat if that is what you worry about.

The fact that she told you is a good sign...

In the end it comes down to your gut. Do you trust her or not?

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

My advice would be to let her go meet fagbot. She will have extra super bitch shield waiting for his advances.

She told you straight up, because she is unsure about the guy. If you don't want her going you can easily stop it without looking bad. Just casually bring him up since she told you these stories about him, listen to her, promote his creepiness with your agreement to her own comments. Keep your cool and just call him out on being a wierdo...tell her some stories of other creepos you have heard of aswell... basically make this guy look really bad without actually insulting him directly or telling her to not see him. She will eventually decided to bail on him.

I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone. I'm bad at putting thoughts into words. But basically bring him and her stories up, assure her he's sounds like a creep, tell her some stories about creeps and shit they pull. She will bail. You will basically make her worried about meeting him.

Century not just your quote but I'm replying to everyone else on here on this thread saying You can't tell her who she can hang out with and tell her NO is bad.

Look his girlfriend asked Century if it was ok to hang out with the other guy and Century straight up LIED and said he was cool with when he knows full well he's not.

Otherwise he wouldn't be on here wondering if he made a bad choice, wondering if the guys going try to feel his girl up and so forth and coming up with rediculous ideas to prevent it. All he had to do was say "No" in the beginning when she asked him and that would have been the end of it. But he got scared and wanted to avoid conflict with his girl.

Anybody on here saying they're cool with letting their girl hang out with a guy who they know only wants to fuck their girl is a liar.

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

nope.

she is at fault here.

and i'll tell you why.

she has clearly stated that:

- she is fairly certain he is hung up on her
- she is uncertain about whether he has "lost interest"
- she says he is kind of creepy and unsettles her
- she says he has threatened her boyfriends in the past

fuck needing your permission.

why IN THE FUCK does she want to go with him GIVEN THE LIST i just posted?

it's not like she thinks of him as any other friend. she has clearly stated that he is creepy, violent, and hung up on her...

yet she WANTS TO GO OUT WITH HIM?

why again?

what good can come of her being "friends" with a guy who fits that description?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Wtf is wrong with y'all? He should FORBID her to see him? I checked the clock and I think it's 2011, not 1653 or whenever the fuck you people are from.

"So you think you can handle two boyfriends huh? Well, let's see how you make out "

This is all you can do and this is how you tell her you have more value than her. Alternatively, you can chode out like everyone else and tell her implicitly that you really need her and how miserable you are going to be when she leaves you and continue to implicitly beg her (yes, beg her) to stay with you by asking her in whatever way not to see this guy.

Encourage her to do it.

i didn't say forbid

i just said it's not ok

i would next her

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I wasn't talking about you specifically.

Anyway, saying you'd next her while you don't know the guy's situation (maybe she has very good qualities worth keeping otherwise) is a bit silly. Besides he's asking how to keep her, not whether or not he should...

agreed.

which is being reactive.

my point is that her wanting to hang out with a "problematic situation" (which she has readily admitted he is) shows her lack of judgment and maturity and consideration.

but i'm not reactive, so i wouldn't be concerned with how to "keep her" or how to "forbid her".

i would just say "meh, do what the fuck you want" and go game other chicks.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!