You say attraction is attraction and rapport is rapport, which is not true. Rapport is a part of attraction. We use rapport so much to increase attraction that we will purposely break it in order to create uncertainty and tension which in turns causes the desire to reestablish rapport.

All of that being said, you are the one that brought up the topic of rapport and seems to be your primary focus when it comes to commonalities. Commonalities don't only lead to rapport. It can lead to actual value outside the realm of rapport. I'll try to explain this in a simplistic way. A panhandler walks into your job and he sees you working hard and walks over and compliments you on your work ethic and says you deserve a promotion. His compliment doesn't have any value because he's panhandler. A coworker can give you the same compliment and that can actually mean something because you both are equals and you stand on common ground. The perception of equality can tip the scale in your favor. While at a bar you can be a 3 and not have a chance with the coworker that's an 8 because you're in the same position as that panhandler, but in the office you can be the go to guy and that same coworker will look up to you.

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im watching this and i see the rapport / attraction thing then i thought back to the steps, the tried and proven steps: attraction comes before comfort.

and i think its very very unlikely for Mr 3 to sex up Ms 8. as long as there're other men the planet. though we gotta keep in mind money fills gaps

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I am not trying to give false hope because it's highly highly unlikely that a guy that's a 3 is going to be able to get an 8. Like I said in my earlier response, competition could kill that. It would take the stars aligning perfectly to pull it off. Even with everything that I've mentioned with warm approaches, it doesn't mean that it will be easy to get women that would be considered out of your league. It means you have a better chance. If you know what you are doing, you'll probably be able to pull it off.

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I'm going to lay this straight with a very long post. Feel free too challenge any of my ideas that you think are wrong. If you do answer, make sure that you answer all of my questions and explain your points.

We seem to agree on a few things. Mostly that rapport can be used to further your seduction. Just as in your example it will make it easier to get promoted or get a job if you are recommended by somebody or have created commonalities with somebody that is in the business. I've already wrote about this in a post I made called cold approach vs warm approach. Where I talk about the cold to hot scale and calibrating your opening to where you are on the scale when you first meet the girl. However...

This is sexual attraction we're talking about. This is obviously not a factor in the workplace. But to just continue the metaphor and make my point lets replace sexual value with your current abilities to perform in the role that the company is looking for. This is the value level that you are at in terms of your skills and capabilities for the job role you are going for. The job role requires your skill value to be at 8, but based on your current level you can actually only offer the skill value of 3. You might of came with a recommendation and sat in the interview and initially the manager is nice to you because you know so and so... you might even both support the same football team.

It's all going well, but then he asks you about your current level of experience and whether you feel confident in performing the tasks that the job role requires. The role requires you to have a value factor of 8, yet you can only bring a value factor of 3 to the company based on the attributes and skills that you can actually do. The manager will probably dig deeper to find out if you're really good enough for the role. He might give you a few tasks to do and put you on trial. After just a small while he realizes that your not actually what he's looking for, you don't live up to the demands of the role and you are actually costing the company money. He gets rid of you and you don't get the job, and he'll also probably be pissed at whoever recommended a 3 to him. He sifts through the other applications looking for that guy who is qualified for the role and desperately wants a guy who's skill value is 8 or above to fulfill the duties.

You went of track with the metaphor, because this is actually sexual attraction we're talking about, but I think that proves the point pretty well using your same metaphor. Now... onto attraction.

You have also tried to make the point that womens level of attraction towards men can change from day to day and that men genuinely don't loose attraction for women. This is wrong. Infact... I know that I find a certain girl I'm seeing at the moment a whole lot more attractive when she's wearing tight leggings and has her hair up. I also feel more attracted to her when she is being sexual and in a playful mood rather than when she's in her pajama pants sat shoveling food into her mouth.

The same is true for women. She has told me that she finds me more attractive when I have my hair all messed up and I'm wearing a shirt, and she also seems to get more turned on when I'm being cocky and playful with her. None of this attraction is built on commonalities... in fact she is asian and I had no idea who she was a few months ago and I don't have much in common with her apart from that we both find each other attractive and sexually compatible. Nobody introduced us, she IOI'd me and I capitalized on it with an opener.

You see, just like men are attracted to women with certain looks, body types and personality. Women are attracted to men with certain looks, body types and personality. Men like nice hair, attractive face, nice ass, nice tits, nice legs. Women also like nice hair, nice chest, nice shoulders, good height.

Whilst men do focus more on looks, it has to be admitted that women do focus more on personality traits of a man. They prefer guys who are confident in themselves and show all the other traits that they are attracted to. This is the reason that the guys on the football team are the ones who date the hot cheerleaders. Attractive girls are attracted to men who are winners. This is how nature has always been. You can't argue against evolution.

So that is where attraction comes from. In today society a mans sexual value can be based on his... personality, looks, way he looks, lifestyle and ability to seduce.

These are the things that will induce feelings of attraction in a woman. Notice how none of these things touch on the topic of rapport? that's because rapport and attraction are not the same thing. Rapport is something that can be build with anybody. It can be built between friends and it can also be built between people who are sexually attracted to each other, but it is not something that can create attraction in and of itself. Commonalities is obviously just one small aspect of rapport. I do challenge you to explain how having commonalities with somebody can build any attraction at all, because at the moment you've made the point that they can but havn't explained how... because like I said if that was the case you would be attracted to your friends which just isn't the case.

So lets take the guy who is a 3 on the sexual value scale. He's not confident in himself, he's average looking but doesn't dress very well or take care of himself, he has only had sexual experience with one girl in his life and it was very shortlived, he lives in a block of flats and lives a pretty boring lifestyle working at a cafe.

Lets say he's going to approach a girl who is an 8 on the sexual value scale. She's very confident in herself and has just had her hair done. She's got guys buzzing on her phone atleast daily and is wearing a short skirt and smells gorgeous because she took time on her appearance this morning. She still lives with her parents, but she still gives a great blowjob and knows how to ride dick.

3 is going to cold approach her. How far do you think he'll get? 3 is then going to see that she is sat next to him and flicking through her iphone, he notices that she's listening to a song he likes and opens. How far do you think he'll get? 3 is friends with somebody who knows her and gets introduced to her in a nightclub through somebody she knows. How far do you think he'll get?

You see... 3 is never going to fuck her. Because she is an 8 and he is a 3. Just like the employer will never fully hire the guy that is a 3 because he isn't what he's looking for. The girl is looking for an 8 or above and when she see's what she wants, she will most likely feel attraction and follow that feeling. That is the way that it works. I wrote a lot about this here on this thread... general-questions/how-set-yourself-apar ... 96993.html

Even if 3 has all the commonality in the world with 8... if she doesn't find anything about him sexually attractive she will never fuck him and he will just get friendzoned whilst she looks for the 8 or 9 (the classic nice guy, nice girl, badboy story). The only way that 3 can get attraction from 8 is by raising his value by improving personality, looks, way he looks, lifestyle and ability to seduce. And that's what game is... improving on these facets. This is the answer to OP's question.

It has nothing to do with how cold or warm the approach is. I do agree that a warm approach will be easier to convert than a cold one. But that is the entire reason to learn the cold approach... so that you can get women anywhere you want. I wrote about this here... pua-lounge/cold-approach-warm-approach-vt196661.html

But the value factor will always come into play and a 3 is not fucking an 8 unless he raises his value in some way or another. And that's what game is... raising your overall sexual value. Please feel free to explain how he could fuck her without raising his value though (using just commonalities as an example if you would).

We are at a point of futility. First off, my metaphor is okay because it is explaining value. If you don't get that value in itself plays into attraction then anything else I say you won't get.

Your explanation of how a woman may be sexually attracted one day and not the next is off point because you're talking about a woman that is still finds the man in the scenario as still attractive. What you have to understand is that a woman can lose attraction for a man who is wearing his hair and carrying himself in the exact same way. Sexual attraction for a woman is not limited to the physical or the desire to have sex. If a woman becomes disillusioned with you, no matter how you look physically she won't respond to you physically. Men lose women all of the time because they say something or do something stupid. Men on the other hand don't care if a hot woman says something or do something stupid, they are still going to fuck her. If a man acts crazy, but he is physically attractive, a woman will not fuck his crazy ass. If a woman acts crazy, and she is attractive, a man will still have sex with her. We see things differently than women when it comes to attraction. It nearly takes the risk of death to keep a man from having sex with a hot woman while women have way more variables.

Understanding that, if something that isn't physically valuable can make you sexually unattractive to a woman then you can understand why something that isn't physically valuable can make you sexually attractive to a woman. Some attractive women will fall all over a guy that can flirt and make her laugh while not be an attractive specimen...I've seen it. I bet you no matter how funny a girl is that flirts with you, if you don't find her physically attractive she has no chance.

I apologize for not reading what you wrote in past threads. It's hard for me to trust someone's source when that source is themselves.
What you aren't getting, and I've said this multiple times now, is that commonalities play into attraction. I never said that commonalities equal attraction. I'll say it again, commonalities play into attraction but they don't equal attraction. You still need the ability to seduce a woman.

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You're overthinking this.

And I used your metaphor to explain how a 3 will never get an 8 unless he raises his value to that standard.

But do feel free to explain this... perhaps how explaining how a 3 could fuck an 8 without raising his value in some way or another. And how having commonalities would actually be the catalyst for this. Or how an employee with a skill level of 3 could actually fulfill the role that requires a skill level of 8 and still keep his job. And we are talking about reality here... there is ALWAYS going to be competition.


I've already explained that a mans sexual value isn't based on looks alone. Personality, looks, way you look, lifestyle and ability to seduce her is the way I put it. These are the things you could measure in a guy to determine whether he is a 4 or a 7. A guy who is extremely good looking but lacking in all other qualities would still be a 4. A guy who is not so good looking but has great strength in his personality, knows how to dress well and flirt with a girl would be closer to a 7.

Girls who are 8's dont fuck guys that are 3's through commonality, that isn't the way that it works. They would prefer to fuck a guy who is a 9 who gives them the feelings of attraction that they desire. Even if they are presented with a 3 and told by everyone they know that this is the guy for them, deep down they will not feel the attraction and seek it elsewhere. When they see a guy who is a 9 in attractiveness they will go for him rather than the 3. Ever heard the saying "I wouldn't fuck him if he was the last guy on earth?" that's because there is ONLY RAPPORT and NO ATTRACTION.

I will add that attraction is only a temporary emotion. It fluctuates and fades in both men and women. Try fucking the same girl 10 times in a row and see if the attraction is the same. Then change the girl on the 11th go and see the attraction spike again. They've done experiments on this shit. But one thing is true, men and women are obviously wired differently and find different things attractive. But I've already explained this.


I used those threads to further expand my points. Like I said, if you disagree with anything that I am saying then feel free to challenge them. I could just so easily pull an article from a post that somebody else in the marketing field has made on a website... http://www.getclientsnow.com/cold-vs-warm.htm , But I took the time and effort to write those posts so people could learn so I would rather use my own words to back up my own points.

You've still dodged all of the questions I posed that do prove what past statements you made to be wrong.

So... Atleast explain how commonalities can create attraction rather than just saying it?

Or... challenge the statement that I'm making that attraction and rapport are two different things and that rapport isn't necessarily needed to fuck a girl?

Or... How a 3 can get an 8 without raising his value?

Not really mate. Just giving an explanation to my point.

Something that isn't being done with the points that Jack has made as any direct question towards any statement he can't give an explanation to hasn't be explained.

The fuck dude. I've explained each thing multiple times.Commonalities can lead to shared values. Shared values can lead to a bond. And again, COMMONALITIES DO NOT EQUAL ATTRACTION. QUIT SUGGESTING THAT I SAID THAT THEY DO.

Here is a thing that a lot of the "attractive" guys don't realize because they are used to being able to lead with physical attraction. If a woman finds you interesting and enjoys your company, she will actively look for things to find attractive about you. You probably can't fathom this because you believe physical attraction must come first before a bond and/or rapport can be effective. Why would I challenge the statement? I know that rapport isn't necessarily needed to fuck a girl. Just like I know being on the same level of attractiveness isn't needed to fuck a girl.Again, when did I say that he didn't have to raise his value? I also said that different scenarios will lower an 8's value because other factors come into play.

There must be part of you that believes you are reading things that I didn't write.

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Earlier in the thread...
My point is that attraction creates feelings of attraction and that rapport creates feelings of rapport. Rapport doesn't create attraction and can't be used to create attraction. Attraction will come when you have the qualities of personality, looks, way that you look, lifestyle or ability to seduce her that she desires. Something that she wants and finds sexual about you.

Rapport will create feelings of trust, comfort and connection. Which is actually nothing to do with attraction. I've already explained this many times already with the point about how women will cheat on their husbands because attraction has faded, even if rapport has deepened over the years.

SO EXPLAIN HOW COMMONALITIES, BONDS OR RAPPORT CAN BE USED TO BUILD ATTRACTION AS YOU STATED. BECAUSE THEY CAN'T, THEY BUILD RAPPORT. YOUR QUALITIES OF PERSONALITY, LOOKS, WAY THAT YOU LOOK, LIFESTYLE AND ABILITY YO SEDUCE HER CREATE ATTRACTION.
I never stated that. But physical attraction will get you laid and just having a bond with somebody won't. And if she doesn't find anything attractive about you then she will friendzone you.
But... it does. Girls who are 8's don't fuck guys who are 3's. AND ANY AMOUNT OF RAPPORT OR COMMONALITY THAT THEY OFFER TO THEM WILL NOT CHANGE THIS. THEY HAVE TO RAISE THEIR LEVEL OF ATTRACTION VALUE FOR THE GIRL TO FIND THEM DESIRABLE ENOUGH TO FUCK. SO EXPLAIN HOW RAPPORT WILL HELP A 3 RAISE HIS ATTRACTION TO AN 8.

I've already stated that women don't just go for looks in a guy. Although it would be daft to claim that they can't play a part. Your attractiveness value is the whole package of personality, attitude, looks, way you looks, lifestyle and ability to seduce her. NOTHING TO DO WITH COMMONALITIES.

8's don't fuck 3's.
I quote...
SO EXPLAIN IF YOU HAVE SOME INSIGHT THAT MOST OF THE COMMUNITY DOESN'T... BECAUSE AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED A GUY WHO A 3 IS NOT FUCKING AN 8 UNLESS HE IMPROVES HIS LEVEL OF ATTRACTION BY IMPROVING EITHER HIS PERSONALITY, ATTITUDE, LOOKS, WAY HE LOOKS, LIFESTYLE OR ABILITY TO SEDUCE HER. NOT BECAUSE HE HAS COMMONALITIES WITH HER.
You did write these things ^^^

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A person that has seductive skills use these things as tools. I never said that they equate to automatic attraction. Reading is fundamental.
I never said you stated that. I even implied that you don't understand it. Reading is fundamental.
I already did. Scroll up and read it for yourself. Wait...reading is fundamental.
Again, where is it stating that I'm saying that he doesn't have to raise his value? The fact that I am saying that commonalities are values should be a clue for you. The fact that I'm saying it requires seductive skills should be a clue for you. And again, reading is fundamental. I did, but you don't comprehend what I wrote. Probably because reading is fundamental.

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(3)

GETS INTRODUCED TO...



THROUGH A FRIEND, AND THEY BOTH HAVE ALL THE COMMONALITIES IN THE WORLD.

BUT

(8)

MAKES A COLD APPROACH AND SAYS HI... HE FUCKING HATES THE SPICE GIRLS AND ISN'T INTERESTED IN THAT BUT HE KNOWS HOW FLIRT AND ESCALATE.

YOU'VE STILL NOT BACKED UP ANY OF YOUR POINTS OR EXPLAINED A SINGLE THING THOUGH. LOL

I'VE READ EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID AND YOU STILL DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND ALL I'M DOING IS BACKING UP MY ORIGINAL STATEMENT THAT WAS 'COMMONALITIES DON'T DO MUCH FOR ATTRACTION'... BUT YOU HAVEN'T EXPLAINED WHAT THEY DO DO FOR ATTRACTION. OR WOULD IT BE TO HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND BECAUSE IT DEFIES EVERYTHING THAT IS TAUGHT IN THE PICK UP COMMUNITY NOW? C'MON MAN. I JUST DON'T THINK THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY EXPLAIN IT. BECAUSE THEY DON'T, THEY CREATE RAPPORT. AND RAPPORT IS NOT ATTRACTION.

SPENDING TIME WITH GIRLS, GETTING THEM ATTRACTED (THROUGH DISPLAYING ATTRACTIVE MALE QAULITIES) AND FUCKING THEM IS FUNDAMENTAL. THAT IS ALL.

(IF THERE IS SOME RULE ON THE FORUM NOT TO POST IMAGES LIKE THIS OR WHATEVER, I APOLOGIZE AND FEEL FREE TO REMOVE THEM OR JUST LET ME KNOW AND I WILL, I AM JUST USING THEM TO ORCHESTRATE A POINT).

Again...reading is fundamental. There's something wrong with your comprehension skill.I used to work at a company and there was this hot girl that worked in the customer support department from Kentucky. We went to happy hour once and I was flirting with her throughout the night, but once she got to a tipsy level she outright told me that SHE IS NOT ATTRACTED TO BLACK GUYS. She was still cool and we would chat at work. I left that company but was invited to a company event in Palm Springs. I saw her during a meet and greet and I walked up to the group that she was in. I poked fun of her for being alone and she could have a date if she liked black men. She immediately took that off of the table. Later that night we were talking in a group again and it came out that she was in the Air Force during the time I was in (commonality) and we started swapping stories. We ended up talking about goals and she was trying to get into the university that I graduated from (commonality) and I told her that I would put her in contact with someone I knew in the admissions office. Later that night we were dancing together the rest of the night...she would let me touch her but that was the limit. Next morning she sat at the table with me for breakfast. Hung out at the pool with me pretty much the entire time I was there and sat next to me during dinner. We danced again that night and this time she let me kiss her. We went back to her room and ended up having sex.

Now let's pay close attention. She originally didn't find me attractive whatsoever. She didn't start opening up to me until she found out that we shared a similar background and she wanted to go to the same school I graduated from. Even though I flirted with her, I was getting nowhere until those things were revealed. This statement does not disagree with a thing that I've said. As in my experience I wrote about above, I didn't get to spend time with this girl without our commonalities were revealed and then I got her attracted.

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Ok that's what I was looking for. But c'mon, surely you understand that when she says I'm not attracted to black guys that is just her logical reasoning. Which has nothing to do with attraction which is a primal instinct. The fact that you had commonalities with her didn't create attraction, there would of been something about your personality, looks, way you looked, lifestyle or ability to seduce her that made her feel attraction. In this case probably your personality and ability to seduce is what got her attracted enough to kiss and fuck you.

The commonalities created rapport. Which I have already said can help you out in a seduction tremendously and I know this because I do have a knack for vibing on a rapport level with girls very well. I have massive amounts of social intelligence and perceptiveness in real life which puts me miles ahead of most guys when it comes to seduction. I feel very 'at home' and comfortable when I'm in the presence of girls. Some girls require more rapport than others (for instance, I spent 7 hours getting over the social conditioning of this Asian girl I slept with) before she would kiss me. But she was already attracted to me and the fact that I showed a persistent personality and knew what I was doing only aided that. She was an emotional type of girl and opening her up led to the lay, but I'm still under the impression that my looks, personality and ability to be sexual with her is what caused the actual attraction.

I completely get you how commonalities can help in a seduction. But a level 3 of attractiveness is still not fucking a level 8 not matter how much commonality or rapport he has with the girl. Attractiveness levels are biological. It's just that sometimes logical bullshit can cover it up or make girls feel as though they shouldn't act on them. Men are attracted to certain qualities, women are attracted to certain qualities, thats the way that it works. If you're a 6 you can bet the 4's and 5's feel attraction to you but the 9's and 10's know they can do better. No amount of rapport will get you the lay unless you have qualities that she is attracted to. Like I said, that leads to the friend zone.

And whilst it can help, you need to know when to use rapport and when to actually calm it down because on occasion is can actually be a destroyer of attraction. With some girls they fucking hate it and its always better to be more of an asshole. Which is also a very natural part of my personality. lol.
Well me neither, because I know a lot of girls have fucked me without one bit of commonality.