Well, first of all, you can't judge based on a 2-3 day lapse in responses on myspace. I rarely go on myspace myself and usually have messages there for a week before I respond to them. Some of the guys on this very forum can attest to that, lol. It's not that I'm ignoring those guys, I just rarely go on there.

What you need to do with this girl is the same thing you need to do with ANY girl. You get her attention, in a good way. Make yourself memorable somehow. Plant yourself into her mind so that she WANTS to get to know you more. Better yet, so that she feels like she HAS to get to know you better.

So, to do that, either send her a really awesome message that will get her attention or next time you see her get her attention in person in such a way that she is amazed by you and is thinking about you, even after you're gone from her sight. If you know anything about her, that will be easier to do.

If that silence is a second or two, yeah, that's acceptable. More than that and you become try hard and not valuable. The silence has to be done right. Not just standing there obviously thinking about what to say next. But silence as in keeping them wondering what you will say or do next. When your mind goes blank like that, you need to immediately snip that thread and think of another subject on the spot and start a new thread. "Oh, that reminds me . . . " Or, tell them they are cool and you'd love to talk to them later and number close.

Posted in the wrong place let's try again.

Hi Tripp,

I am a newbie here and just wanted to say, I really like your advice.

My question: Can you use push pull in lieu of negging? Let's say you can't come up with something clever to say? Does push pull through body language, or walking off and talking to someone else, then returning, do the same thing?

Depends on the girl. Not all girls need to be negged. Push/pull with your own body language, or with body language AND words, such as pushing her away physically just a bit while telling her to come and do something for you is effective. Walking off then returning later will ONLY work if they are already hooked on you. If they aren't hooked, they won't care if you don't come back. And if they are hooked, they won't want you to leave to begin with. In which case, just the act of attempting to leave is a type of push/pull. But, again not all girls need to be negged. But push/pull can and should always be used to a degree. But I wouldn't really say that push/pull could be used instead of negging, because some girls don't need to be negged at all, but some girls really do need that IF you're gonna get anywhere with them.

Ok i've just thought of this one, im not saying im gonna use it all the time, i just wanted to know what you think.

'my friends call me moz, SO you can call me (real name)'

I sometimes get uncomftable telling them my name, so i prefer to wait until they ask or let someone else introduce me.

I've kinda got this routine where i sometimes guess there name (i've always partly psychic and sometimes i cheat), if there is a connection i can usually get the first letter. Anyway after i say 'now guess my name'.

_________________
To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we percieve the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Actually man, that's VERY good, but I would substitute a different name other than your real one at that point. Then, later on, you can "reveal" to hear what your real name is, once she's earned it. "Well, now that you have actually earned it, the name I gave you earlier is something I give to those that don't yet know me, but since you're cool now, my real name is . . . "

well Im from the UK birmingham if anyone actually knows but I need some help with approaching and holding down a conversation I seem to freeze to go upto a woman in the mall for example as at the moment dont have time to go bars etc etc due to family commitments........ I mean Ive read nearly every opener...... how would u approach a HB8/9 whose with her mate or on her own in a shoe shop/clothes shop i obivously could use an opinion opener but I feel as though im coming across to direct as after the opener the conversation dies obviously my fault wanna know how to approach properly obviously im working on confidence... but how do i close i seem to much of a coward to close ....... but i thought id ask u for help as ur feedback is amazing...

sorry i aint been on much as we were in the middle last time of u explaining dhv stories to me etc etc just been busy with family commitments

There is no magical formula. Use the 3 second rule. It is there for a reason. It boils down to this. You have to have the guts to walk up to a set and actually talk. And, girls love a guy with guts.

Why is an opinion opener direct? Is it because you're too scared to approach maybe? Not being an ass here, just getting to the point. Yes, your confidence is the key issue.

You just have to summon up the guts to actually do it. You've got material to use, and you've got the 3 second rule. There is no pill to take or anything like that. You just have to DO it.

If you run out of material, either snip that thread and start another, or number close and talk to her later.

cheers for that L.A TRIPP but what I wanted to ask was now lets say im in the mall/shops etc etc and Im chatting to whomever hb8/9/10 how do i close the number i find it nearly close to impossible to ask her so directly for her number......... ive tried "Id really love to carry on speaking with you but Ive gotta be somewhere etc etc and ask for her number then" but is their an easier way???.... how can i distinguish myself to her as not the normal idiot who gives her crap with the retarded methods as these seem to be women who are use to attention due to their physical looks....... how do i make them realise im not coming across to get in their pants (tho obviously thats what I am thinking sometimes)..... confidence im working on.. im going with a failure is not an option route keep trying get as much practice as possible..... this may make my self esteem look low but sometimes im speaking to whoever its like going thru my hed "im not in her league" I know thats like too negative but ive gotta learn how to cope with that and change it... but what can i do for her to think he's genuine... Im good with making people laugh. getting better with holding conversations but sometimes I think she (them as in hb9/10's) are too use to it................


Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.

Greetings L.A. Tripp!

I've been keeping my eye on the sarging on the dance floor thread sarging-on-the-dance-floor-vt17838.html?highlight= and wanted to ask your opinion on learning to dance. Right now I feel the dance floor is a trap since I simply just go out there and do the typical white boy stuff, however I feel if I learned to be a bit "smoother" I could use it as a natural opener. I'm also awkward when grinding, not sure what to do with hands etc etc, and I'm fairly certain that's a huge DLV in bedroom game.

Do you have any resources you would recommend? Should I just look for a local dance class then explain to the teacher what I want? Does it even matter if I look like a "dweeb" as long as it looks like I'm having fun?

Thanks for offering up your opinions!

That's about the most non-intrusive, non-direct way that I know of. The easiest way, to me, is the most direct way. I take out my phone, open it, hand it to her, and either say "you know what to do" or "throw your number in there" or something like that. I haven't yet had somehow give me an attitude about it. In fact, I've gotten the number every time.

As for your mindset and confidence. Yes those are BIG issues you HAVE to work on. Before you ever set foot in the venue, you HAVE to realize that you have value and you are desirable and that the women WANT you. You are bringing the party into the venue . . . YOU are. You HAVE to take the women off of the pedestool in your mind. There's no way around that.

Hey Dr Zig. For your last question of looking like a "dweeb". Put simply, with some girls they will care because you aren't dancing "proper", but with other girls they will realize that you have guts just for doing what you're doing, so they will be attracted.

Local dance classes can help. Resources I've personally used are watching videos on YouTube, watching guys in the club, and practicing myself. I'm now at the point where I've got girls that love going out with me because "I'm" the good time. They KNOW I can dance and they love dancing with me. I can pick up new girls by showing off a few dance moves. But, I'm not here to bring light to myself, instead the point of this is to show you, it doesn't take a lot to get to this point. As I said, I watched videos, watched instructional videos too, watched in the club, and practiced on my own.

As far as grinding. It's really simple. Don't be afraid to touch the girls. Put your hands on their waist at first. Then, move the hands around, on her stomach, down her thighs, things like that. Hands normally go there when you're dancing anyway. And, with some girls, they will grab your hand and place them on their ass, on their chests, or other places. Just don't be afraid to touch the girls. If they are uncomfortable with you, they most likely wouldn't be grinding on you anyway.

Hey man, when I am screening a girl by asking "are you ambitious" and she replies no, how do I continue to sarge? Also does it mean that she is not attracted as she is not qualifying herself? Screening and qualifying are my biggest weaknesses so any advice you could give me would be much appreciated

Unfortunatly the youtube video in your signature is not available in the UK so I cannot watch it

Hi Tripp,

Been awhile since I've asked some newbie questions. But you know what, I'm still a newbie in many areas of pickup, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

So here goes:

1) So say you've got a girl you knew from early in your PUA days coming to visit in a couple of weeks. Your game has advanced quite a bit. What are some steps you take to make sure you still appear congruent with the image she had of you from your early PUA days?

2) This girl I was talking to in the mall (not really sarging, just talking) brought up the fact that she was "desperate" for some good icecream. Uhhhhh OK...totally caught me off guard. Anyway, what's a good response to that?

3) Is minigolf an option for a dating activity in mid march?

_________________
afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

Well, they are both music videos. The first one is "independent" by Webbie and the second is "lose yourself" by Eminem. I love that music and those two songs just happen to have something in them that's useful for pickup too.

Ok, for your question of the "are you ambitious" and she says no . . . I would shake her hand, say "thanks, have a great day" and leave. Just like that. She won't expect that. She most likely won't chase either, unless it was a shit test, but then again, you don't want to mess with her in the first place if she's like that. Personally, I would use Mystery's line of "what do you have going for you besides . . . " even though it was on national/international? tv, I'd still use it. I've used it myself, even right after the show, and it's worked like a charm.

As far as getting a girl to qualify herself, there are blatant ways like that, but there are tons of subtle ways within the convo, in the moment, that you can do it too. Those are just subtle phrases that you throw out there right in the moment. It's hard to give an example of those, because they are so situational, but the basic idea is, she says something, you "question" it, and she qualifies herself to you.