You maybe right but as much as I know her, she isn't that type of girl. I told her what my intentions were. I don't like playing games. I'm a honest guy I don't wanna lie to her. That's not my way of starting a relationship. My intentions were pure. It was just she didn't want me the way I wanted her.

[/quote]The OP did assume attraction. It would be hard not to when he got her number with the explicit reason for taking her out. This girl, like you even explained in another post, falls into one of those girls that didn't want to reject him to his face although she knew he wanted to take him out. She just simply shut him down.

No need to say he acted like a bitch. He asked her out. She asked his intention and he was honest about it. Most guys would try to disguise their intention by saying something like "to have a good time." He was completely, some might say brutally, honest and direct which is better than most guys. The OP didn't do anything wrong except wanting to keep pushing things.[/quote]

I totally agree with you. When I first approached her I asked her if I could take her out and she said yes and then I asked for her number. That's why I assumed attraction. I was wrong. Most likely she just didn't want to reject me right on the spot and also because we were at work and someone else might hear it.

I honestly don't regret telling her about my intentions. I wanted to be honest with her and she did mention she liked my maturity. What I do regret is the "pushing things" I shouldn't have done that. I should just accepted and respected her decision when she first said no to me. At the end, I'm just not her type..

Thank you for responding

You're never wrong to assume attraction. You just need to be aware that these things can happen in the workplace.

And yes, pushing it was wrong. No harm done though. Keep acting normal with her and everything will be fine. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.

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Yeah I try not to make it awkward. I use to go in her office and start random converasations with her but now if i think about it, she was probably just forced to converse with me. She didn't really try to carry on the conversation. For the past few days, I haven't gone back in her office to chat with her. I'm not sure if that's wrong or right. I just think it's not fair to force her into a conversation.

You're right.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You don't really know her.
Nice-guy-princess mentality. Women love orgasms and wild, passionate sex. They have craven, dirty fantasies and are wilder in bed than most men.

If you tell a girl right away you're looking for a relationship, she will bounce you.

If you were TRULY an honest guy, you would have said "let's get naked" instead of couching your intentions in cliches.
Yeah, this needs to change or you're going to keep enduring the Five Finger Rosey Relationship.

Her: What are your intentions?
You: Fun. Let's grab a drink at Bar X, 9 pm.

Instead, you garbled out dull cliches about "taking things slow and getting to know you, and maybe more"


Dull. Lifeless. Boring.

So you got friend-zoned.

A woman gave you her number, and answered your phone call. That's a door. You closed the door on yourself.

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On a cold approach, yes this will cause most girls to put on the brakes (I'm not saying all because there are no absolutes). In a warm approach, unless she is absolutely against relationships, if the girl is attracted to you then this isn't anything that will make most girls run away because she has a general impression of who you are. This was a warm approach where the girl let the OP down gently. More than likely she was planning to go out with him and do the "friends" talk but didn't want the OP to start telling people that he was going to take her out, hence the talk of preventing rumors.

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When we first talked about going out, I never mentioned anything about relationship. I told her I just want to get to know her outside of work and we also agreed that we won't mention anything at work because we both didn't want any rumors. I told her that "even my philosphy was not to start a relationship at work but you are hard to just pass on. I had to give it a shot". So this is the time line. I got her number on thursday then i called her on friday to see if she is free on saturday to go for drinks. Thats's when she asked me about my intentions. I told her I just want to get to know her better and keeping the options open for whatever will happen in the future. She said she wouldn't prefer drinks and that maybe coffee and walk would be better. She also said that she is busy throughout the weekend and we agreed on the up coming thursday to go for coffee. So on the wednesday i asked her if we are good for tomorrow for the coffee date. She said that she thought about it and isn't sure and she stands firm on her policy of not going out with someone at work and that she is still new at work and don't want any rumors. So I said during that time that I understand and I respect her decision. So that date got cancelled

Few weeks later I chatted with her again and i told her that "i understand your policy about rumors and other stuff but i don't want work to be a deciding factor in my pursue of you". So i asked her out again and she said we'll chat about it. So the following day i called her and she said that it's difficult to have a proper conversation at work so she couldn't really talk to me. She said if we were looking at being friends then we maybe can go out but thats when i drew the line. I didnt want to be in friendzone. Second even if i said yes to being friends a date wasn't sure. Third i would be lying to both of us if i agreed to being friends. So i told her that my intentions were possibily being more than just friends and i'm willing to take it as slow as possible. (I guess tjis is where I became pushy)

I never got the impression from her that she's not interested in a relationship. So you're right, she was just not interested in me. The other things were just smoke to politely say no to me.

Isn't that implied when you get her number? Talk about something more interesting, and less meta.

That's telling her you want a relationship, lol. And why are you engaging in meta talk?

Live in the moment.
Never say this to a woman early on. It makes her look like she's some sort of hard achievement and you a lowly peasant "shooting for the moon".

Terrible frame.

Why are you talking like this to women? You don't need to explain yourself, ever.

Translation:

"I fucked someone else over the weekend and changed my mind."
Why?

Assume you are the catch. When you make a date, set a firm place and time, and expect a woman to show up there. If not, her loss.

What the fuck?

Why again do you delve into meta-talk, with serious overtones? You're walking into her frame every single time.

"I understand your policy" makes you sound like a bitch! You don't know this woman, she's never done a single good thing for you. Treat her as such.



You are going to have a hard time fucking new women if you keep up this line of approach.

You messed up by falling into her frame time and again.

It happens to the best of them, man. But where you evolve and get good is when you learn from your mistakes. It is very possible she was never interested. However, your approach is still flawed.

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I admit I f'ed up.. There were things I could have done better. I did use the typical metaphors. My thinking was that if I showed her I'm genuine, honest, and not just playing games, she'll give me a shot. Unfortunately she didn't see it that way. End of the day she was just not interested in me. The tough part now is I see her everyday and something in me dies every time I see her. We are cool. there's no awkwardness and I put a pretty good act that her rejection didn't affect me..

Yeah, spice things up. This is why I always push "shocking honesty". Because the ultimate goal is to take yourself, and the woman out of the mundane. You can't be afraid.

You don't need to prove a fucking thing to a woman who has NEVER done a good thing for you. This is a terrible frame. You need to get this mentality out of your head. "Hoping a woman gives you a shot" sounds meek and pathetic. You need to flip that around, and ask yourself what the woman can do to prove her worth to you.

On first dates, I make women pay for their own drinks. It shocks them, wakes them up a little bit to reality. They think "here's a guy who isn't kissing my ass. Maybe kind of rude, but kind of different, too."

On first dates, I'll ask qualifying questions like, "scale of 1-10, how would you rate your sex drive?".



That sucks, but hopefully you can take the advice given here and make it work on the next woman. We've all been there, messing up with a girl and shitting where we eat, lol. You just deal and move forward.

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