On my side it's authentic, you try to stunt but it's all rented
But you're dope you got a bad chick, yeah, cool bro we all get it
She wears a ring, came through without it
You really think she stay true? I doubt it
'Cause I'm fucking your girlfriend, and there's nothing you can do about it


You got it bro. See a shrink and learn PUA techniques = become the ultimate ladies man.

OP

I'm a newbie around here, so what do I know? I will no doubt get attacked by some people here for saying what follows as it flies in the face of some of the ethos around here. But be aware the I am not 'trolling', and I say what follows simply because some of it may help you.

You need to appreciate that we are all wired-up differently, often VERY differently. Some people need a lot more stimulation than others. Many of these differences are found in strong genetic pre-dispositions. The rest comes from life experiences.

As you may or may not know the extreme versions of this are "personality disorders" like sociopath and narcissist. It's a sliding scale and apparently we are somewhere all on this spectrum, but in its extreme form what is unusual about these people are completely unable to "do" empathy. They are sometimes very high-functioning and are extremely good at working out what other people are thinking and feeling, but unlike people who are normal, they are unable to FEEL what other people feel. If one of these people causes hurt in someone else, they literally don't give a shit as such, and their only concern is "oops this isn't going to look good!". T

That is what a narcissist is: Someone who can ONLY see what their behaviour is like in their reflection in the faces of others around them. They are dominating and love being at the centre of attention. They constantly need to be appreciated, respected and valued by others in order to feel good about themselves.

Narcissists (and the related condition sociopath) will normally have bullet proof self-confidence. They literally don't give even the slightest shit about anyone else's opinion so why wouldn't they have self-confidence? They are often exceedingly good at working out how other people work and they are often extremely good at being charming and making other people feel "special and wanted". They are often pretty aloof and may never reveal their thoughts and feelings, not even to their closest friends. When people stand up to them they often become viciously angry and use that anger to further dominate and control.

They are of course profoundly toxic human beings but they because of their bullet proof self-confidence and that charm that they can switch on they tend to be enormously attractive to women.

Because they are so deeply selfish and manipulative in the end, and it may take a while, they tend to destroy the people around them. But much like a shark that needs to keep swimming in order to breath, they survive on the buzz of being appreciated by a constant harvest of new people.

Interestingly, a natural-born narcissist and/or sociopath will have absolutely zero understand of someone who is introverted and/or shy. What is also interesting is that narcissists seek out two personality types: The shy sensitive souls why they can easily control & dominate. And other narcissists who can make them feel normal about their behaviour.

Now I'm going to be attacked for having a passive-aggressive go at some of this community. Too bad, I'll take that. I'll not fight back. I may even get kicked out of the community for my efforts, in which case, I will come back on another ID, if I can be bothered. The honest truth here is that I am here trying to help any shy/sensitive/introverted people that stumble across this thread.

Now, I tell you all partly to make yourself feel better about yourself (at least you are not a narc/sociopath)
and partly because these kind of personalities may well be totally unable to understand you even if they want to and you will get extremely unhelpful advice from them.

By way of encouragement I would say to you that shy people are generally much more interesting, thoughtful and kind. You need to take strength from the fact that you probably have a lot more to offer women than any selfish, shallow, "super-successful-with-women" narcissist.

BUT you have problems at the other end of the spectrum and you do need to something about it. Therapy of some sort... yes, maybe. But it's expensive and generally time-consuming. A quick fix that's worth trying is some sort of "fake it until you make it". You need to start building your social muscles. Don't expect to be an olympic athlete in your first day in the gym, so don't beat yourself up too much when you can't run 100m is sub 10 seconds like some of the guys here can (metaphorically speaking).

Nonetheless you have serious work to do, my friend. I don't have any specific advice, but just start with 'baby steps' that you can actually achieve. Set realistic goals that you can get into the habit of achieving. Do regular journaling to reflect on your progress and learn from any failures. You need to expect to feel social awkwardness and do stuff anyway. No pain, no gain. But as you grown in confidence, you may be surprised how, over time, much of the awkwardness simply evaporates.

You also need to realise that gaming and the social game in general is pretty shallow and stupid. There's not a vast amount to it. It's not a PhD it's some light fluffy silly bullshit, but if you are a normal human being it does take testicles to handle the rejection.

At least it does normally, there is however a potential short-cut however that does not involve alcohol (which numbs the mind). You might consider following the principles in what follows to kick-start your "fake it until you make it" initiative.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style ... 49836.html

Just make darned sure that you don't become dependant that's all.

That's the best I do. Good luck.