I never text the girl after. Why would you text her you had a nice time, you arranged the date and made the plans, it should be the other way around.

And that's why you are here right now. Sure. Don't text her you had a good time if you feel too chodey for it, but a follow up and an arrangement for the second date isn't rocket science.

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Many girls will just ASD on first date, no matter how attractive and good you are.

I met women sometimes that drop their ASD on first date and want text and I generally refuse (I need to know somebody well to have sex, and I don't like the idea of rushed things so I generally wait second or third date).

Massive amount of conjecture on your part given the scant information the Op had provided.

Funny, I've never had sex on a first date with a girl, probably because I didn't want it as I'd think she was a ho if she came too easy; not to mention most of them had enough self respect and restraint to hold off till they got to know me better, and I've no proclivities nor any interest in one night stands. For me if she's initiating sex on a first date it's a red flag that she's this easy with other guys too - no fun in that. Also, most girls who have opened their legs on the first date more often than not find that the guy quickly loses interest after.

It sounds like you go for skank-types and bar stars (no offence), those with low self-esteem.

Agreed.

I m with Jackzero on this one, she was looking for you to lead and you didn't.

Also if the 1st date went well then why didn't you arrange for a 2nd before dropping her off? "Hey I really enjoyed the evening with you, let's meet up later in the week I'll take you to that quaint lil dessert place I told you about earlier. When's good?"

I will never understand this.

How much do you think you can know somebody in 3 dates? You don't "know somebody well" unless you've been exposed to them for at least a few months in a variety of different situations.

I agree on the rushing part, but you're using it in the wrong context. Rushing things is just as bad as dragging them out. If you want to be successful, stop placing obstacles on your own damn path.

If you have an amazing interaction and things naturally get sexual on the first date, go with it.
If you have an average interaction and things flatline on the first date, then don't force a damn lay.
But regardless of the outcome, your predefined goal should always be to form as strong of a connection as possible. That happens via quality, not quantity.

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I tend to not get hard the first date and I need more "connection" than average. Also:

1) we were in a car, i dont like car sex the first time

2) it was super late I had 40 minutes drive in hope for a 4 hour sleep

3) had no condoms

4) wanted to act "precious" and wanted her to desire it even more

5) id like to date her for more than sex since I really like her.

You're illustrating his point. Look through each of the aforementioned things you did above, and ask yourself if you were creating an obstacle or not. I see several at first glance.

And why wouldn't they?

Most women wanting a relationship are used to being inundated with dates where the guy at the end expects 'something'. If i were a woman too I'd keep my legs shut a while to see how invested a guy is in truly getting to know me before we have sex. Its not rocket science to figure out.

1) That's logistics issues. You get what you plan for.
2) Don't schedule dates so late?
3) wat?
4) Except that only leads to frustration. There may be a time and place for that kind of stuff but it's by no means during the date 1. Or 2 or 3.
5) I don't see how that's relevant. You want to date her for more than just sex but you won't even have sex with her.

Honestly these just sound like excuses used to mask fear of rejection as "playing it cool" or "I don't just want to fuck girls". As far as I'm concerned you can do whatever you wish, be it relationship or accumulate fuck buddies, but the nature of said relationships is something you define down the road, not within the first few dates.

Like n2 said, you illustrated my point.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

That speaks to a lack of experience.




Nope. I like strong feminine women who are open minded and confident of their sexuality, not princesses who think their pussy is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

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You're here right now because of this weak ass mentality.

Save this shit for if she asks you to be exclusive. for right now, be the FUN leader who makes her cum. Then you won't know what to do with her because she'll be hitting you up everyday.

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No, I didn't plan to have sex that night.
Date started 5 pm, she told me she had to be home at midnight. At 2 am we were still making out in the car.

Connected to the first. I didn't plan to have sex that night.
I see your point and kind of agree.
I don't like having sex on the first date with a woman I really like, that's it. I wanted to know her better, but things got extremely hotter than I thought they were going to.

Dating ain't a PU script, I also do what the fuck I want, and since I really like this girl I wanted to have sex with more time and better logistics. Please understand that I'm a person that:

a) suffers first time sex anxiety

b) even if I don't it takes me sometimes hours to finish, literally, it gets shorter the stronger the (mental rather than sexual) connection I have with somebody.

We ain't fuckin robots.
Hard to be rejected when a woman is unzipping your pants, but whatver.
The second part is true. There are women I just want to put my dick in, and some I want more. Yes I wanted to play it cool (or better, it got extremely late and I had to wake early, the date was planned to end much earlier) and the fact that it was late gave me an excuse.

OP...it seemed like you were being one of those guys that had an excuse for everything when you were responding to R.C...until I read this... So you are saying that a girl initiated the makeout and she was unzipping your pants. You must have rejected her trying to have sex with you in the car. To add insult to injury...if she's unbuckling your pants and you don't get hard, what do you think that would do to her self-esteem? Why would you expect her to reply or even consider a second date when you demonstrated so much apathy towards her? Personally, I think that you are trying to do a lot of talking big in your responses when it comes to defending your viewpoint...if not, the reason the girl doesn't want to talk to you again is because you put her in the position of being the masculine person and you being the feminine.

Seriously, you should have included all of this information in the original post. It makes a big difference in why you failed with this girl.

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