This thread is bringing to light some important issues. The ones that immediately stand out are: 1) when/should I have a filter with my partner on what's discussed, and 2) should my partner blindly support me in everything I say or do.

Regarding 2), I try to live as authentically as possible. If I disagree with the stance of my partner, I WILL bring it up, albeit in as kind a way as possible. Personally i don't believe in agreeing with everything my partner says or does simply because they are partner. I would be short changing myself, and also doing a great disservice to them in blindly agreeing and/or expecting them to be a 'yes man' person.

I want to digress for a second here in stating that whenever somebody quietly agrees with you, or simply goes along with you out of obligation, the two of you will certainly pay for it later on (Marshall Rosenberg calls such people "Yes-saying Jackals" - people who do things under obligation only to silently resent you and explode on you later on).

Expanding on 2), there will be times your partner doesn't agree with what you do, and that is fine as the two of you are (hopefully) autonomous individuals. This must be respected. If you are unwilling to agree to disagree then it's likely you aren't ready to have a relationship until you first have a healthy one with yourself (although good luck trying to convince somebody who thinks they're always right in doing that).

You can NEVER "DEMAND" respect. Now, you can calmly state your side, without being reactive, but once you've taken something personal (assigned a judgment to it), it is very hard to stay balanced in dealing with matters such as this. Entire populations have been subjugated by the heavy-handedness of ruthless tyrants. Do you think FEAR brings about respect? How about protest behavior?

REAL respect comes out of love, not force. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you'll start living life.

Perhaps you could learn a bit from GF's mentality, it seems to be working well for her.

Ok i get it for the thing with my mom. But how is the work related conversation me bringing out bad emotions? I simply told her that if things are brought up that i dont agree with i will bring it up, il do well, however i care about the fairness of things because she in her job kinda gets dicked around

I said what you wrote was vague. From what you are saying now, it sounds like your girlfriend is really saying that you need to learn how to pick and choose your battles better and quit thinking you are always right. If that is the case, she is giving you an opinion. Seems like she's looking out for you.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

First, you are overly sensitive to criticism

As Jack said
You: My first clue to this is how you found an excuse for her thoughts that you were sensitive to criticism. You've been with her 3 years. One incident is not going to make her suddenly think you're sensitive to criticism. You looked for a reason for her to be wrong here, you're always right.
Not liking criticism because you do work well, doesn't mesh. This comes back to what she is saying, you think you're always right. Doing a great job, doesn't mean there are no faults in what you do.

Accept you're not perfect. No one is. Not being acknowledged at your job is something you should stand up for, but listen and take the feedback as well. If your boss mentions that you are great but a shortcoming is you aren't proactive enough, dont respond back with "What....I work 60 hrs a week!" That's not being proactive. Don't think you're always right. The biggest thing I'm seeing here is you have excuses for things. Why she thinks that. Why she gave the ben of the doubt to your friend. Why you're sensitive to criticism.

Is this the worst thing in the world? Maybe she sees me as stubborn or self centered, but not weak? Is there any coming back from this? She hasnt lost attraction if sex is a barometer

Being stubborn and self centered is weak.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

If this is the dorkley I remember with other threads on his gf, dont worry about losing her. You guys have some weird communication patterns that seem to keep you together. Would it keep the next girl? Maybe not. But with this girl it is. For personal development, however, I'd try to be more open to feedback and criticism and being wrong sometimes.

Lots of assumptions. Do you have mind-reading capabilities? If so, you should work at a circus, or open shop telling people their fortunes.

What would be seen as weak tho? The fact that id take criticism from a boss as unfair or unjustified? She knows i work my butt off so it wouldnt be crazy for me to be a bit put off by a boss who doesnt acknowlege this and make moves as a result of this. My girl even said "well maybe the best place wouldnt be right after boss says something, but at end of the review

A boss is a person with authority over you. You deciding not to take his criticism is a bad move when they get to decide if you have a job or not. Your boss may not fire you, but has the power to make things difficult and uncomfortable and make you want to quit or break you down to the point of where they can fire you. Your girlfriend telling you to not be sensitive and that you're not always right is a way of protecting you from yourself since you don't understand that you can be your own worst enemy.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

Fair, id call it headstrong and not always a bad thing in a womans eyes tho. Im glad she cares enough to help

Gave the points from what OP wrote that got me to that conclusion. 2 people who are close to him telling him he thinks hes always right, and him looking for excuses why the would think so (ie he's right they're mistaken). Not tough to come to

I was directly addressing the OP with this.

Agreed

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com