No no, i really have not missed the point. The whole point of PUA is you use psychological knowledge to do things you wouldn't normally do unless you knew about the way they affect psychology. That's why it's learned, studied, and taught. Controlling is the name of the game, controlling situations, appearance, etc. Otherwise feel free to go out to a club without showering for a couple days, with messy hair and bad clothes and just be yourself. Or even a step further, go into a club and talk about chess club and ask the girl if she wants to go on a date sometime. Probably not going to work out too well for you.

Most people don't realize the degree to which they control people.

I'm sure plenty of guys are in a very similar position.

In fact, the vast majority of guys who seek help from the PUA community just want a girlfriend. They didn't come here with the intend of banging a bunch of women. They just wanted to find a partner to enjoy a healthy relationship with.

I have a similar background. When I first started learning this pickup stuff, I wanted love. I was so desperate and lonely that the idea of sleeping with a ton of women had never even crossed my mind. I was convinced that I would be happy if I just met one attractive girl - ANY attractive girl - and convinced her to be my girlfriend.

I eventually learned that my goals were based on a very limited and flawed perspective.

You see, compatibility is very important. And, in order to learn enough about yourself and what kind of women you're compatible with, there simply is no better alternative to dating a ton of women and finding out for yourself.

So, even if you don't want to have sex with a ton of women, you definitely need to date and experience some sort of intimacy with enough women to understand yourself and your compatibility with different kinds of women better.

And, during this process, you'll PROBABLY discover that you want to have sex with a lot of these women, too. No need to force things, though.

Another important thing is your own maturity in regards to relationships.

If you've never been in a relationship before, your first relationship is going to have a lot of shitty stuff about it. Hands down. No question. If you let yourself learn and grow and mature from your experience, your next relationship will be better. Granted, some dumb guys never learn and they make the same mistakes over and over again, but in general the more experienced men will be more mature boyfriends/husbands/partners and will be better prepared to know what to do in order to be happy in a relationship, and will be better prepared to make his partner happy, too.

So to answer your question, the books and courses from the PUA community that teach you how to get laid will help you reach your goal of having a successful marriage in the best way possible, as long as you don't lose sight of what you really want.

If you're naturally extroverted, I recommend... everything. All of the material in the PUA community is really great for extroverts who really enjoy going out and meeting tons of new people.

If you're naturally introverted, however... check out the link in my signature

First of all you have no idea who i am beyond a collection of blog posts so to assume i have control issues, or anything about me is pretty quickly arrived at. I do not.

I know PUA. I've coached it, i've taught it. I've lived it.

Again you're confusing PUA with General self improvement. They are different things.

I know PUA. I've coached it, i've taught it. I've lived it.

Again you're confusing PUA with General self improvement. They are different things.