This is why they're reacting with one-line responses from time to time. Show your intent nonverbally. Try engaging some women throughout the day too it can be fun

Hi.

I'm taking in all of the different advice from everyone, but since it tends to contradict each other, I can't do it all at once.

But everyone on Seddit told me that I need to me more direct and state my intentions off of teh open.

Tried using their openers last last night and it was one of my worst nights in terms of harsh rejections, lol.

Appraoch 1
Girl is dancing near me on the fance floor:
me: Hi, I know this is unusual, but I just noticed you. I'm J- you are gorgeous
her: Ok. Nice to know
me: Yeah!What;s your name?
Her: she turns her back to me here
Me: (After a few awkward seconds of dancing near her)
I touch her shoulder ato get her attention and say
'''wHo ARE YOU HERE with>>???''
Her: get your hands off me!! Go away
I leave her alone. My friend see's all of this happen which adds to my shame, lol


Approach 2:
Girl is dancing near me
Me: Hi. You're cute.
Her: You've got no chance!!
Me: (I smile) why not?
Her:''Laughs'' - wags her finger in my face and turns her back to me to whisper to her friend whilst dancing
I pretend not to care about the recjection and laugh, but it hurts inside

Approach 3: (girl at bar)
Me: Hi! You're super cute
Her: thanks
Me: what 's your name?
Her: Kelly
Me: What are you up too?
Her: Ive got a boyfriend. Sorry

(at least this one didn't hurt like the previous 2 rejections, but I'm confident she was lying about teh boyfriend, lol)

Keep your head up. To borrow a line from someone in here (i forgot who),

No no no no no no no

Don't know who or what the fuck Seddit is. Also not sure why you're following them.

All you need to worry about is that your intentions are demonstrated.

You CAN do this verbally...if you want to.

For some it works. For some it doesn't.

For me, I much prefer the VERBALLY indirect route - where I convey my intentions via body language, voice toniality, etc.

Going in direct when you haven't calibrated and your body language isn't on point is a recipe for disaster.

thanks bro. I'm trying too. I legit felt suicidal when I got home last night, lol.

I'm not sure how healthy getting constantly rejeceted is. They say pain makes you stronger but i'm not so sure.

I'm thinking about maybe giving up on dancefloor appraches, though and sticking with approaching at bars and girls at tables etc. Dancefloor just feels like tinder where all that matters is that you are a very handsome guy. I tend to get my worst rejections on taht dancefloor, so maybe i'll leave that for the handsome dudes

I'm craving just a good interaction. ''Shooting for 1 positive interaction in 2018'' could follow!

Same. I like to call this 'nonverbal direct.'
I dare you to speak to some women during the day with offhand comments about ANYTHING other than the woman herself - the weather, anything. Remember, you're worthy just the way you are.

Seddit is just the seduction community of reddit.

But posting my FR's there is very frustrating because typically, everyone gives me different advice, and then those that DO give advice are very vague and only tell me what NOT to say....but never what I SHOULD say.

For example, I posted a FR recently. It basically went something like

Open. Comliment girl on her jacket. Ask her name. Ask her age. Talk about teh environment briefly. Asked where she'd been that night. Spoke a bit more. I said she was cute and soon after she bailed (I guess since she didn't want to lead on a guy who she didn't think was hot but who thought she was hot)

Anyway, the advice was basically:
DON'T ASK A GIRL HER AGE. DON'T ASK A GIRL WHERE SHE HAS BEEN THAT NIGHT. DON'T ASK HER NAME
- YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT SHIT. BE REAL!

So I say: ''well then, what SHOULD I ask her and talk about? I mean I don't know the girl. She's just a hot girl that I want to pull so tell me what I should do say.

Then the poster never gets back to me, lol.

on RARE occasion they WILL get back to me and say: You want to know if she's cool and you want to know why you should be interested in her.


So then, next time I go out. I open a girl. Say hi. Then say ''are you cool?'', Or ''so tell me why I should be interested in you?'' (trying to follow what I THINK is the advice i've been given)and she is like ''I don't want you to be interested in me! Go away!! kind of thing, lol

I told you this before OP. You obsess too much on what to say without wanting to understand that communication is more than words.

Flirt. Tease. One of my stupidest pickups was pretending to be an Arab prince and telling the girl my name war Mohammed. Blond dude with blue eyes name Mohammed. It was a stupid conversation about my private helicopter being broken and how she'd have to settle for a cab ride home.
Do you honestly believe the words had anything to do with it?
Oh and before you ask, my opener was "Who are you and why at you at my party?". She asked how this was my party and that's how I improvised that role.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

What RC said.
The exact structure of the words is not crucial. What is crucial is willingness or ability to deliver what you're saying with confidence and intent.

What IS crucial is being willing to touch, early and often, and gradually escalate based on the responses you get.

What IS crucial is being willing to create great eye contact, hold, and watch her expressions.

What is crucial is teasing her, making LIGHT fun of her, getting her to laugh, moving with her, etc.

You could literally do the whole talk about "what do you do, where are you from" etc but make it INTERESTING.

Tease her about her hometown. About what she does for work. About the foods she likes.

The TOPIC or SENTENCE STRUCTURE does not matter, but it matters how you deliver it.

Which is why I always say, body language, voice tonality, for me is essential, and not whether I go "direct or indirect".

Thanks RC and Chocolate.

I know that i'm annoying the shit out of you guys, but I promise i'm trying! I've even accheived the journal objective....just!

It isn't easy to get shot down 99.9% of the time and keep coming back for more, lol
I've had a lifetime of it whilst all around me are swimming in pussy, lol
I have to literally lie about my experiences so that I can 'fit in' with my friends!


I've tried experimenting with all kinds of things (to do with vibe/openers/conversation/general tips) etc etc

I guess you're right in that I focus on the words too much, but that's really only because the words are the only things that people know for fact from my FR's, and from them FR's, I am often told things lke ''Don't ask a girl her age'', ''Never open with 'Hi, i'm xxx'', ''Don't open a girl in a weird way.Just say 'hi, i'm xxxx' etc etc!

And then naturally I go on a quest to find the best words/conversation starters etc etc.

Ill make a promise though

The next time I go out, all I am going to concentrate on is having an impact on the girl and hopefully being 'fun'. If she hates me she hates me, but I'll try not to worry about the 'words' as such. As I sit here now, I'll be hoenst in that I'm not 100% sure how to 'be fun' from the open, but I'll try things like opening pretending to be her blind date (how I got laid on my first ever cold approach), opening by accusing her of starring at me etc etc.

Good idea?

The age thing is stupid. I ask that question. And I don't however open with "Hi" if I'm in a club because that's not fun to me. And fun is the reason I'm there.
It is a good idea, but understand that one trial is hardly enough to draw a conclusion. Keep at it for a month or two, and make proactive efforts to stick to that plan.
Anyway, the point isn't to "be fun", it's to have fun. When you go out for a beer with your friends you're not trying to be fun, you're having fun. You're not limiting yourself and you're showing your personality for what it is, and your humor is not restricted.
That's the side you need to show women.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Again, what RC said.

Don't be fun.

HAVE fun.

Enjoy yourself. You don't have to approach every girl with the three second rule in mind. Just make sure that the pickup process is fun, you have fun engaging in people, you have lots of laughs, tease, just ENJOY the whole process.

Cheers

Going too a wedding reception at a hotel tonight. Sould be a fair few young girls to try my luck on!

Obviously not much to report over the last week or so, went out a few times - one short interaction sticks in my head where I was simply trying to implement the 'have fun' thing

I was in a beer garden with 4 friends talking. There was a group of 3 girls sitting on a table nearby. I was standing the whole time, leaning against a wall. My friends were sitting.

Then one of the girls tapped me and said ''Here. Take this chair. I wouldn't want your arms getting worn out''
Now, instead of being like ''thanks'' I said ''So you've obviously been checking out my arms! I bet you like what you see!'' and laughed.

She was like ''Ha! I've seen more meat on a butchers pencil!''

I pretended to be distraught for a second by her neg. Then I said ''Ouch!! I've got feelings you know! Don't be fooled by this tough exterior! You're a mean girl! You're obviously from *my hometowns/where were*''
She laughed and seemed like she wanted to carry on bantering. Had a big smile on her face.

Now, I could have carried on here, but I think part of the issue is that I don't get approach anxiety so much as I get anxiety in front of my friends. I always feel so judged. They've seen me get rejected so many times now that I find it a bit awkward to talk to girls in front of them. I don't want to be that guy who is so self-unnaware and is constantly trying and failing to get girls. Kind of like if I don't 'try', at least they can't be like ''Jester just got blown out by another girl yet again! Doesn't he realise that he's not good looking!!?''

Anyway, I initiated conversation with that same girl a few times, but it never went past a little bantering. Although, in fairness, my only 'mission' at the moment is FUN as is clear from the advice given here.

Plus i'm generally bad at somehow making things sexual/moving things forward and making my intentions known without it being really awkward and clumsy, but I won't worry about that for now

----


Oh, one other interaction of note:

I was in a bar with a friend of mine who, unfortunately at this point was shit-hammered and borderline embarrassingly drunk. So I go solo and see a gorgeous VERY young girl, with some handsome young guy. I assume he's banging her. I overhear them speaking and hop into their conversation, and they're immediately friendly.

We start to chat as a group. I can't remember how I found out, but it turns out she's single.

My drunk friends starts talking to the guy, and now i'm sitting opposite the girl.

She mentions being strong for a certain dance move and I say ''Bullshit. You got no muscles, little girl!''. She laughs all giddy and then says ''feel my muscles!''. She seems very comfortable with this and at this point I thought I potentially had a shot?

Then soon after, she mentioned studying dance in college, and I grabbed her, and we laughed as I pulled her around as if I knew what I was doing in terms of classical dance!

After that we carried on talking about a few things, which is when she started talking about how good looking the barman was. (He WAS handsome, lol) I immediately felt like shit, but remembered the basic game principle and agreed and amplified. I was like ''Yeah! I'd bang him! You want me to get his number for you!!?'' She laughed, but I still saw her trying to catch his eye.

We carried on talking, but at this point, I was unsure of how to 'make the move'. How to go from random conversation with a girl who has possibly showed 'some' interest/compliance. And the fact she'd mentioned the hot barman also made me quetsion whether it was pointless and would have looked socially unaware. I was stumped. Change the topic to something sexual? Just make a statement of intent?

Either way, I done neither and I messed up, and fairly soon after, they left. The GUY asked for my facebook lol! (we'd bantered at various stages throughout the night. He IS straight, lol. Just looking for new friends)

Anyway, wish me luck for tonight, lol

Arhhhhggggg!!

Chocolate and RC have been giving good advice. I just saw that you are 30. Where have you been man? By 30 you should be comfortable around anyone and socially well calibrated unless you are hiding under a rock... I have to squint to read your interactions. How are you still nervous in front of your friends?

Have you worked on making yourself more attractive? Working out and good grooming? Do you do that stuff?

How are you at 8 pages in your journal and you still are using "Hi, you are cute" to open on a dancefloor? I saw you have been previously been given advice on good openers... Piggybacking on that - you are focused too much on getting a girl and what other people think (outcome dependence) - I know this is part of the noob process and me telling you here is near worthless, but you need to be self amused and not so focused on your interactions. You are too much in your head. I suggest getting some part time work in service, where you are around a lot of people - it will help bring you outside your head. You badly need to become that man who can verbally execute circles around anyone. Working in a factory with all men is not good for social ability.

Maybe we need to explain some of the theory behind this stuff? So if you are dependent on the outcome it subcommunicates you are desprate for attention and lonely. No girl or person wants that. If you have a ton of people and pick of the girls, would you care so much about one interaction or woman? Hell no. I know until you actually get there it's a hard thing to feel and be but that's why.

Until you believe you are whole yourself as a person, and don't need, but want a woman, you will have trouble. When you go out, it should be becase it's something you want to do and see, and enjoy. NOT to hit on women. Then you are creating mental pressure on yourself to perform, which works against you.

If you are asking women out on a dance floor, do you know how to dance...? If not I suggest you learn some basics in a few months or less you could probably dance to anything. I'm always amazed by how many guys can't dance. It's such an easy way to meet girls.

Lots of other things to say but I started typing this before reading more...

haven't got time for a detailed reply as i'm off to that wedding in a second.
I've not lived under a rock! - haha, it's just that girls have never been interested in me, probably due to me not being handsome. I've had insults from girls about my looks that probably scarred me for life, lol

I work out and stuff and have good style and grooming, but my face is unnattractive due to genetics, and so i'm naturally not that confident around hot young girls.
I know lots of guys my age who are not socially brilliant in all environments. COnfidence comes from experience. Lots of ym friends woudl be described as 'confident' and 'social', but put them next too a hot girl in a bar, and they fold like origami. This is because they dont' have any positive reference experience.

On the other side, i've got friends who lack 'general confidence' and are unemployed and stuff, but because they've always had attention from girls due to being good looking or whatever, they are much more confident around girls than my friends who have life success

it's not so much nervous around my friends. I'm comfortable around them. it's just that im' uncomfortable with being the only guy in the group who approaches girls, and then get's reject4ed (sometimes harshly) about 96% of the time. It's awkward, but you'd only know that if you'd experienced it. I've basically become 'that guy in the group who's getting rejected by girls non-stop'. that's what I find awkward and what makes me uncomfortable. Not just 'being around my friends'

Regarding openers and stuff, don't forget that I try to implemet advice from EVERYONE who gives it to me, That was how I was adviced to open from other people who supposedly know about this stuff online. Like 'hi, you are cute' was the exact line given to me to use from a PUA on seddit who said my prior interactions were lame when I was self amusing. He said to just be direct and tell her she's cute to open. It certainly works for some guys.

And yes, i'm trying the self amusement thing at the moment - Tried to implement that in my prior FR.

Cheers man