Often I just have the feeling I need to do something, that I can't relax or take it easy and that something bad is going to happen while I consciously can't think of anything that worrisome. For example, as a consequence of small and quite easy school assignments I may feel overly excessive feelings of worrying. I think too much on a certain issue, often in a pessimistic way and I can't get it out of my head.

In social situations, pressure and anxiety prevents me from thinking completely like myself, instead feelings of nervosity reduce my ability to think and say stuff in line of what I really want and feel. While when I am in my most relaxed situation good ideas and things I really would have wanted to say just pop out instead of looking too much for it for when I really need it during a social situation. Do you recognize this? Any advice which may help?

Hey dude.

I also occasionally suffer from what you seem to have. It happens and it can be overcome.

Firstly,I would recommend you take part in what is called "immersion therapy". This involved putting yourself into crazy social situations so that you can realize that your fears are ridiculous and irrational. There is no danger for you to worry about.

Secondly, I would say when you feel these intense feelings of anxiety come on, Name the feeling (Anxiety doesnt count as a name of a feeling). Use words like warmth,cold, tingly, cool etc as well as WHERE it is in your body. Then number it in intensity, 1 being low and 10 being high. Eg.I feel anxious before I approach a girl: Tingly sensation in my upper chest 7/10.

I find this works for me because: I am able to name the feelings thus letting them go. When I name the intensity of the sensation it reduces. Plus immersion therapy places me inside of crazy situations, allowing these feelings to come up more often and by doing so, allows me to deal with them more quicker than usual.

How to go about it:
1. Research social freedom exercises. Get atleast 10.
2. Start "tagging" your emotions you are feeling as often as you can. It shouldn't be difficult as you are stuck in your head. Monitor them and keep tagging them until they are sub 4.
3.Dedicate a few days of taking action with your social freedom exercises (at least 3/week)
4. Remember you are in control of your feelings, thoughts and emotions. Your mind and emotions is like a dog chasing a scent. It will continue and continue, going in various directions until you get a leash on it.
From this moment forward, you are in control of your thoughts and emotions.

I hope it helps, PM me if you need any more advice.
later

Xander Kage

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We aren't mental health professionals. Go see a therapist as opposed to looking for self help bullshit like most guys here would offer.

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I can only talk from experience of getting rid of anxiety for myself.

I use to have a horrible case of social anxiety and excessive worry.

And after struggling with it for years, I've discovered that the cause of anxiety is always
being too much focused on YOURSELF.

So when you're in a social situation for example, you're probably focused on what others may think
of you, how they may judge or laugh or in any other way disapprove of you.

So there is one cool and very powerful technique that will help you with your anxiety in social
situations, and that is this:

When you're out there among people, and you feel unsafe and like they're going to judge or laugh at you,
ask yourself this questions:

"How would I like to feel in this situation?"

And the answer may be relaxed, confident, secure, safe, comfortable.

Whatever it is, take the answer, and do the following with it:

FOCUS on making OTHER PEOPLE in the room FEEL that emotion.

So if you're talking to a guy, make your intention to make him feel comfortable.

Or make your intention to make him feel secure.

The reason why this simple shift works so well is because when you focus on
making the other person feel better, you stop focusing on how you feel.

You can't feel afraid while trying to make other feel comfortable and secure.

So try this thing when talking with a friend to get into the groove of it, and then
ease into conversations with others.

If you want to eliminate your approach anxiety, which is that fear of approaching women,
I invite you and anyone reading this to join my test group. Link is in my signature.

I wish you all the best,

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You can try it here Here: New AA Cure

I used to use this technique when I was younger man, very easy to put it into practice and it helped me to focus and and overcome anxiety.
when you are at the party/night club etc...walk/cross the venue right in the middle where everybody can see you..when you are walking/crossing look around you, you will see that everybody is too busy to notice you...
wait 15 20 minutes and do it again..you will see the same result.
the point is that you going to realize that you are not the center of attention of nobody, very rough technique but it may work/help you to focus and relax

It's probably your parents fault.

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