I suppose there's no answer to this question as such. It's just annoying to hear this one, because it could be a mask "for I'm not interested", but at the same time, it also screams "I'm just a naive little thing that can be taken advantage of", and you don't know which one it is.

Recently, in a bust bar, I saw this girl walking about with her phone in her hand texting. I saw her again later as I was exiting the bathroom. She gave me a small smile... enough to make me all exited! I approached and said "let me guess, you're looking for your friend". She said "I am actually" and we talked for a bit. It seemed to be going well until she reverted back to the "looking for her friend" excuse. I joked "oh that's what they all say, you can't all be that stupid!". She laughed a bit and I thought I was doing pretty good at this point. A few more brief words and then I messed up by saying "show me a photo of her & I bet I'll find her before you do". I was just looking an excuse to stay with her. Then, a tiny bit of dead air space, and I heard the words "I'm going to let you go!"

Anyone know any good ways to deal with this? or ever read about such?

In anticipation of replies: please don't dwell too much on my own mess-up, or try taking the moral highground, talking about how I should be worrying about different stuff, etc... just share tactics on this one, or not!

Sometimes they say this so you don't think they're there alone.

The 'I'm looking for a friend', like many things, is open to interpretation and can mean many things in the same night when coming out of the same woman's mouth to different guys. There are almost never hard and fast rules in this game. Especially since you're dealing with chemistry between a man and a woman and the billions of interconnected dynamics that go along with that.

In this case, I'd proceed as though she hadn't said it and have a chill convo with her and tease her if she brings it up again. You just have to gauge her attitude when saying it. As always, the nonverbal communication will guide you where to take the interaction.

You're trying too hard. Read this:



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