Hey guys,
So here's the thing, I'm really just starting to look into this stuff as far as PUA and I'm really a rookie and don't really know what I'm doing. I got interesting in starting to look because I have major, what you guys call, one-itis.

There was this girl, who last semester was very flirty with me (touching me on the back, kissing my cheek, grabbing my shoulder etc.) one time at a bar. Me, being the inexperienced pleb that I am, took that and thought to myself "Oh this is finally a girl who's interested in me". I didn't flirt back because there was this other guy there she was also flirting with here and there; I wasn't sure of the situation so I laid back. I later found out that he was her roommates friend who was just visiting so there was nothing there.

A few days later I tried to text her a couple times over the next week, and she was not the most responsive ever, so I thought to myself "Okay, maybe she's busy, I'll catch her when I'm out" So I went out with the hope in the back of my mind that I would run into her again. This happened for about 2 months and while I didn't see her, I think this whole mentality allowed my infatuation to grow into something unmanageable. I was craving the attention that I got that one night and I let it spiral out of control.

So 2 months after this whole thing happened, I finally decided to get it over with, so I could get some closure; I couldn't go on like that. I asked her out over text for coffee because I wasn't running into her anywhere I was going and I was going nowhere fast. To which she said she saw me as a friend of hers, and said she was seeing someone (I still don't believe her to this day, because I'm good friends with her roommate who i'd been talking to about this, who failed to mention that bit). I was told by her roommate that she doesn't really date and isn't really looking for a relationship, which is fine, I just wanted to go out to see what was going on there, I wanted to explore something I thought might've had potential.

There are a lot of other details here and there, but that's what happened in a nutshell, I've talked to her roommate about how I feel about this whole thing, because I was falling in and out of depression for a while. I asked her to briefly talk about it with this girl and explain a few things in hopes that she would understand, so I think she's aware of some things.

Here I am 2-3 months later, still somewhat fixated on this whole thing. It's been getting better over these past few months, yet I still find myself thinking about it, not as intensely as before. I can't figure it out, I thought I got closure and got this out of the way by asking her out and getting it over with, but apparently that's not the case. What I've realized is that I've been wanting to talk to her directly about this, because I still feel like I'm kind of seeking her out at the bars and I'm starting to wonder if this is ever gonna go away.

Part of me wants to reach out to her and see if she'll hear me out, so I can finally talk this over because I've realized that I have been wanting to talk to her directly about this. It's clear that this will never work out, so I'm not really trying to pick this girl up. It's more of a matter of talking these things out, getting it off my chest and making another attempt at full closure? What do you guys think I should do? I know that this may not be the place for this, but I don't really know where else to go

Remove the 'talk' mindset from your mind and then replace it with a 'take action' mindset.

Do early morning sprints every day. Not jog; sprints. Then lift weights in the gym. Eat fruits and green leafy vegetables. Drink lots of water. Cut down on soda. Get a new hair cut. Buy a new pair of shoes. Get a new set of clothes.

Most importantly, approach and open at least ten women a day.

You got yourself into this mess by talking a lot and NOT taking any action during the moment when it mattered a lot. Charge this to experience and learn from it. Now, take action on the tasks that I've identified for you above. Your urge and propensity to talk instead of taking action is a symptom of the poor state of your health. Take action. Now.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Closure? That's all you want? C'mon man, you got flirted with by a girl who wanted some attention, likely to make herself feel better about something and you've taken into some crazy fantasy love situation and you just want to talk to her again so she can see what an amazingly nice guy you are and you two can ride off into the sunset and have a family and grow old together?

Look, trust me I know where you're coming from. I've been there. I've been worse than there. Most of us have been. But you don't have to stay there. You have a choice. A choice to forever be where you are now, or to change, make yourself better, and learn to get a handle on this part of your life.

First of all, STOP with this fantasy. Forget about her. Today. Right now. Delete her off your social media, phone, whatever. She hardly knows who you are yet you've given months of your life thinking about her. You are better than that! Do not get sucked in any more by this girl. Let her be the one that motivates you to really learn and master PUA.

As already mentioned, start with yourself. Get yourself in order. You can't be successful in this until you get your mental game under control. How are you going to get a girl to believe you are of worth when you don't believe it yourself? Work out, gain confidence, believe you can do this.

Then start on learning PUA. Learn the basics. Practice practice practice. Would you even care about this girl if you're hooking up with girls every week? I promise you you'll look back at her and realize she's way beneath your attention.

Become the guy that girls obsess over for months instead of the other way around. It's not hard, but it does take putting in some effort. Invest in yourself and it'll pay dividends so great you won't even believe you were once in this spot.