Hello all.
I'm in a pinch and i really need your help.
I'll give my whole story so you can see where i came from and hopefully help me start up again i would be eternally gratheful.
So the current situation is I'm on anitdepressant and i am actually quite happy, i got a lot of friends i work a lot and generally things are going fine, except for women.
I've reached a critical point where finding a sexual partner or girlfriend seems impossible (atleast for somone i would be turned on by).
So my story starts around 4 years ago (i'm 22 by now).
After breaking up with my first girlfriend I felt like i could not find a girl again, but i soon did, a friend introduced me to this girl called Lea, she was very sweet at first, not the prettiest girl but shit i've never dated anything above a 7.
So i fell i love with her and the first couple of months were very nice. Falling more and more i love i was quite happy. But things turned around all the sudden, she started complaining more, crying more and more often to the point where every day i would help her feel better for many hours. After around 8 months togeather she tried to commit suicide for the first time. she called me and said she was in her car with the intention of driving into another truck, so i hurried to her and carred for her helping her home to her parrents. I was devastated but things returned to normal. I helped her start to a therapist and it seemed to be going okay. But i had to travel to another part of the country due to my studies. She was very sad and one day when she visited me she took a knife and tried to stab herself in the heart but i stopped her.
after that i had to break up with her. i couldn't take it any more. i've gone from a fully functional man to a weak unstable boy in less than a year.
(during this period 2 people i knew commited suicide, i also worked as a handicap helper for a boy with no will to live).
So all this drained me a lot but after breaking up and moving in with new roommates (3 girls) i felt like i could start over again.
Buuuttt after living a few months with the girls i noticed they were very mean to me talking behind my back, stealing stuff from the fridge doing stuff without inviting me etc. (i know it sound silly but at the time it hurt).
after 8 months at the girls i moved out i couldn't take it any more at this time i had called the suicide hotlines because i didn't know what to do with my life.
I started at a new school at the same time i started at therapy (best thing ever).
Turns out i have had depression over a long time due to increased stress from work, ex girlfriend and the roommates. so about 3 years of depression.
I quickly got descriped antidepressants and for the first time in many years i felt happy. :O
I have a lot of friends (4 very good, 15+ regular friends). It's about 50/50 male, female friends but none of the females have any interest in me.
I did however have an friend with benefit for a little time, a girl. But i was not attracted to her and most of all i just took her to feel appriciated again. But after 3 weeks she dumped me to fuck my friend.
It did not hurt that much tough since i wasn't really that attracted to her.
So to end it all: I feel like i can't get intimate with any girl that i find at least a bit attractive. :O
The thought of dating somone who's above a 3 is so far away and i don't know how to do it, or even where to start.
I feel like i belong to a different race than normal people/girls.
Things are defeantly going better and i am very happy for that. but to be honest there is no one in my life who can help with me getting better with girls except you guys.
So if you were me?: where would you start, i work too much to be able to go to town often (10 hours a day after school)
Would you continue building up your regular life, would you focus on getting girls and how? or something else?
I am open to all kind of help because at the moment i'm lost.
Thank you so much if you can help i know it's been a bit of a downer to read but thank you!
CHAT
but let's start with 1 - 2 weeks without. 