Wuttup lol

Okay theres this girl from my job that ive worked with for about 3 yrs. Ive liked her for about 2 years now. Shes liked me in the past and i actually took her on a date too. The date wasnt too great because i neglected her, not to be rude but i had a problem on my hands that night that she didnt know about. I cant remember the ending on the date exactly because of everything that ran in my head but i vaguely remember her telling me she had no parents home and she was gonna watch scary movies and hinting an invite to me. I turned her down and left to deal with the issue i had. Also this date took place before i liked her and when she liked me.

I feel bad because i went on this date knowing she liked me and knowing it was something she really wanted.

We have been friends ever since i first met her but shes not a super close friend. A week or two after the first date we tried going on another dinner date again. This tome instead of me setting it up she set it up 100%. However when the day came when we were supposed to go, she didnt say anything all day and last minute she canceled the date saying she forgot she had to hangout with a friend for their bday. Mind you both dates were after we got out of work.

Ever since then we didnt really hangout much. A couple reasons why i never pursued her was because
1. Shes a sketchy person: some of the things she says dont add up. Chronologically things dont make too much sense.
2. Shes a confusing person: along with saying things that dont make sense, she uses weird logic thats strange and dont make sense lol
3. Shes rude: shes kinda judgemental for the wrong reasons. Aka she will hate u if u smoke weed which has nothing to do with personality. And shes also kinda rude in convo, she interrupts u and judges u occasionally.

*note* she has anxiety and depression.

So heres my first question: how and why do i like this girl?
Now im a young confident good looking guy who doesnt really struggle with women. Most women i hangout with or party with or even talk to, all say im a funny, cool, playful, outgoing kind of guy that they wanna marry lol. Also i used to play competitive fighting games and im real good at soccer so im not un interesting or anything.

Now i say this because i feel like when i get complimented on these personality traits, i feel like i do a good job attracting and peaking these girls interests.

However whenever i begin to like somebody, i get the nervous anxious feeling alot and it makes it very very hard for me to do anything in an interaction with someone i like. My feelings for this girl flared up when i dreamt about her randomly one night and when i seen her talk to this guy that she saw at Work.

Niether my dreams or her talk were really significant. In my dream i didnt dream about anything we did, she was in it and after that dream i would randomly picture her in my mind and think about her randomly, not like making a fantasy relationship in my head but i would just think about her and picture her face. The guy she talked to was a random friend visiting her but it sparked up this sudden urge to try and seduce her/be with her.

Ive hung out with this girl a couple times since the first date but they were just little hangouts where she would stay along with me and chill before i had to go do whatever i had to do. I never spent a full day with her nor have i spent a nice date with her.

Now whenever i try talking to her its very hard. Like i said shes anxious and depressed, so lots of content she provides are all negative and hard for me to build any kind of rapport or connection with her. Shes not very good with communication. She has a hard time expressing herself. And the way she connects with people is through negative rapport. All of her relationahips were terrible, they either ended in a sudden cutoff with no closure, Getting cheated on, or she had to cut them off cuz she was being abused.

She is the kind of girl that would give u a shoulder for u to cry on if u needed it and would fall in love with u over the negative breakup rapport u would give to her.

I told her recently that i liked her. She didnt feel uncomfortable about it but she seemed surprised and intrigued. I dont flirt with her much or really show how i feel to her at work cuz its a work place and her weirdness holds me back. Ive had great times with her before, ive talked to her for a while and i feel like she would be a great person to be friends with or date but she just acts weird and rude all the time.

Part of me thinks she acts like this cuz of all the times i neglected her and part of me feels like i didnt establish enough bonding or rapport with her.

I Told her i liked her because mentally it would drive me crazy. Being around her and talking to her while trying to hide my feelings and at the same time being a little aggitated from her being sketched out would give me a headache and feel mentally exhausted.

Since i told her how i felt, ive been feeling happier. I dont have to hide my feelings for her so everytime im near her i feel gitty and happy. I make her laugh a more often now.

My second question is: how do i connect with someone who shares lots of negative rapport and how should i go about connecting with her.

I appreciate all feedback. This has been driving me insane for a while lol. I always knew about the pickup community and ive read a decent amount about it so i know pretty much how interactions work.

This is basically my last resort lol. All in all even tho this girl could be weird at times, i like her lol. I dont really know why tbh because me personally i dont feel close with her. Shes shared lots of stories with me and i feel like she could feel close to me? Ill admit i dont open up as easily as other people do and especially not in front of her.

Is there anything i can do to fix this relationship lol? If so let me know and like i said all feedback is appreciated.

Maybe its because she is the only girl you are talking to? Talk to other girls if you havent already and see if you still like her because she is cool, or like her because she is the only girl around.

Plus, I dont really think it is a good idea to directly tell a girl you like her ever. Ruins the suspense, unless you are basically on top of each other and the deal is sealed.

Also girls with depression and anxiety are very interesting. Mostly because of how unpredictable they are. One day the excited as can be then the next day its like they are crashing from drinking tons of coffee.

either way, just ask her out for the night, and connect with each other. Go for walks, drinks, or anything fun and spontaneous. You will connect naturally if she is interested. If not, then wasting your time.

Yea i was thinking maybe i only like her cuz shes the only one around but i talk to other girls as well. But uk what, maybe it is. Whenever i start talking to someone new i basically forget about her. Feelings for her stay because after i stop talking to a new girl they come back for her. Idk if i forgot to mention but i get nervous everytime i get a crush obsession like this and kinda bail out and do perform very well. How do i get over this???