If you're calling me a virgin, then your perceptions of me are very flawed. I could be a male prostitute if I wasn't so skinny. It's better to work smart than work hard, but I can do either. I lift things that the 4 broken vertebrae in my back shouldn't allow me to do, but I try to go easy.

I turn down girls all the time. Or, when they're interested, I don't talk to them or don't know what to say to them. When I was younger, age 21-22 (I'm now 29), I turned down 10 girls/week easily. Believe it or not, I really don't care.

I've had my dick in over 50 vaginas and turned down much more. I didn't say she was a prostitute. It was a girl that I paid that I met online. She didn't usually work as a prostitute. This was the first time she's ever done this. After that, she started texting me back wanting to do it for free. I haven't gotten back to her after the first time because I don't want to drive 45 minutes to pick her up and I just don't feel like it.

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Richard, stop dating women, or wanting them. She could be a 10 or a 1 on all scales, you still do not respect any women, period. You just want them to put them down.

I agree with HT23VWY67's assessment here. OP, if you look at people as merely having value for the external things that they do, you will miss out on relationships with some really amazing people. For your sake OP, I hope you grow to love and accept both yourself and others for what they are, i.e. human beings.

The whole purpose of this is to change.

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Maybe you should try being friends with women first, and not as a pretext for sex. But to actually see something good in them.

Because if you don't have any ounce of respect for women of any sorts, you will never form a stable healthy relationship. You're more likely to end up in a toxic relationship.

The thing with your personality is, you are extreme. I've encountered a very few rare times men like you and it was like moving boulders. No matter what I said or did, you already made a decision.

Hey at least you called me a man.

I do have respect for them, I think. I think I can try to grow some. If I don't have it, I don't know why it's not there. And that is probably what's missing in my "game" much more than social status, money, looks, or anything. I just don't want to be one of those guys who gets used and walked over.

Also, in addition to my long post up top. I think I have something called "toxic shame," aka self-hatred. From what I have read, this comes from not having esteem built into myself while growing up. This is probably why I'm such an asshole to everyone else. And most definitely why I'm such a narcissist. (what a mental health counselor would call a "reaction formation"). Do you see why I have so many issues that get in the way of a healthy relationship? I would be 50 years old by the time I figure this stuff out. But I hope that doesn't mean that I have to lose my life. Maybe I could find girls or a girl that understands that I have issues and accepts my anyway.

And what is the real difference between a "friend that is female" and a girlfriend? Sex is easy. It's the trust and respect that's lacking. I also have mental issues that cause me not to trust ANYONE, not just females. I don't even have any real friends.

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