New to the forum. In my mid 30's, and just out of a 5+ year relationship.

This weekend I encountered a very strange situation that I need advice on how to avoid. I will try to paraphrase....

For over a decade in my area, I was a very prominent DJ involved in nightlife and other aspects of music. Because of this I have amassed a social media following full of really beautiful women, that immediately know who i am if i were to hit them up.

A couple days ago I changed my Facebook profile pic to a bodybuilding "progress pic", and a woman who I had been eyeing on my friends list for years "hearted it". I seized the moment immediately, and started a convo. After about 48 hours and hundreds of texts exchanged, she decided to make a 5 hour trek to my house for 4th of July weekend. The build up was intense, and exciting, complete with sexual innuendo; I thought we were going to have a romantic, sex filled weekend.

She arrives at my house around 11PM, and I had planned for us to his this bougie bar, complete with "dark corners" and all of the things I'd need to rope her in. But instead, she didn't wanna go anywhere. So, I made us some drinks and put on a movie. She fell asleep. I was OK with this, since we had never actually seen or talked in person. I figured i'd give her one night to get comfy with me. We snuggled a lot, into the morning. I touched her boobs, and got slightly touchy feely. I could tell she liked the cuddling, but she gave me virtually no "IOI"s.

In the morning, after a few hours, I decided to break the sexual ice by leaning over and kiss her during what felt like a very "natural moment". She didn't embrace the kiss and simply told me she hadn't brushed her teeth yet. Eventually we made our way to breakfast, which was slightly awkward, no matter how hard I was trying to seem relaxed. Luckily, the place i took her to has these "trivia cards" on each table that you can use to create conversation, and I did. By the time we had breakfast, she was laughing with me.

But here's where things got weird... I literally had a mental list of things I wanted to do to make the weekend a fun experience for her. First up, take her to the beach to walk my dog, which she absolutely adores. She all out declined this, and told me she wasn't feeling well. At this point I didn't know what else to do besides try to make her feel comfy, since she was "feeling well" in a far away place. I went to the store and picked up her favorite beverages. She was starting to fall asleep (again), and i told her i was going to the gym, so I didn't seem like a puppy following her every move. I took advantage of this time to think through what was going on and try to get my mind right while she "napped". I get home, and a few hours go by, and she's laying on my bed with me while we "chill", yet is not cuddling. Over the next few hours, It got really weird. We had pretty in depth conversation where she was basically telling me her life story, like a previous marriage and all this other sort of "baggage" stuff about her, but once again no "IOI"s.

She kept apologizing for feeling like crap and being "boring".. so I did what i could to keep things fun, like putting on a movie she wanted to see. But as the day progressed, I couldn't help but start to display my disappointment with how things were going. I couldn't tell if this girl was actually sick, or just sick with a case of "not feeling me". Around 4pm, I made a decision.. I am not going to let this girl "friend zone me" for 3 days. I am not a chump. So i decided to start letting my body language show how i was feeling, a bit more. I was sort of staring off into space and being quiet. She picked up on it, and asked me what was wrong. I told her i was "fine", yet kept doing it. Within a half hour she got the hint and said she was going to go home and sleep off her "sickness", and apologized for ruining my weekend. I quietly agreed "ok", and helped her carry her stuff to the car.

We immediately went from a romantic build up, with hundreds of texts, to one of the most weirdest 24 hours of my life, with zero contact once she bounced. I did everything I could to aid her in being comfortable, yet nothing was enough, it just remained weird.

What the fuck happened? Why did it fall apart? Why was she so weird? Was she just nervous? The last thing I am doing to do is chase after her, or am i wrong?

There was multiple times when i had her laughing to the point of tears by one of my infamous "stories", yet I could not get her to even make out with me. I need to know what I can do next time to prevent this from happening again. If anyone can give me some advice, I would seriously owe them one.

What did she think the reason for her going there was? I'm not sure if she thought it was going to be friendship or a date type of trip. If she came in there thinking that it was a friendship trip then I can understand why she could have acted like that. If she was coming out there for a date weekend, then you should have called her out on her attitude instead of acting passive aggressive when you had enough.

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I think you failed to seduce her.

Chick drives 5 hrs and gets in at 11pm...no unless she's coming through the door full of energy, it would be best to scrap the plans for that night. She was probably exhausted as she evidenced by her falling asleep. So you started off the cycle of her rejecting you by proposing a date when she had just driven 5 hrs.

Then kissing her in the morning...no build up, no seduction, plus when she's feeling most unattractive. So you set up that your first kiss would be a negative/robotic experience. Setting up another rejction. The rest is you pushing the escalation.

Now dont get me wrong, a chick can come from a 5 hour drive and fuck you for 5 hrs straight. But you gotta read the energy when she gets there. This sounds to me like one of those times, playing it chill and letting the escalation happenly naturally would be the way to go. Forget the fear of her friendzoning you. She's a girl, alone with you at your place. That creates a natural sexual SPAM. May not mean the sex/kissing would happen the first night, but by taking a step back I think you would have fucked her. So she comes in tired, put the bag away, show her around, sit on the other couch from her, tease, talk, move closer and touch, move back, do you own shit, come back to her, throw a sexual comment, move away. The old school push pull shit. Let the tension build if she's coming in cold. She's at your place for at least a couple nights...let the tension build instead of trying to push push push.

Girl comes to your place, sure sometimes you're at step 10 already. But often, this is the first time meeting you, she's nervous, she's not in the same headspace before she started driving, she's feeling self conscious abt her bo and breath...so you're at step 1. You gotta let it build up. This is the same kinda thinking where guys assume to fuck their gfs they just need to start kissing. Then they wonder why the chick leaves or the sex drives up. You have to always seduce a woman, whether you meet her at a bar, or at your place.

Dude. She arrived at your house. Why in the fuck would you need to rope her in? You already did!

You failed to act like a dominant male.

A woman knows what it means to go to a guy's house alone. Women are generally more intelligent than men and know exactly what's going on.

that's a good thing, lol.

You bored her. Probably a combo of lack of stimulating conversation (teasing, flirting) and lack of physical escalation.

Next time put on loud, upbeat music. Have a couple Red Bulls at your place, too, and engage her emotionally and physically. Lead the interactions. It is your job to set the tone, and to go for what you want without fear. women love honesty and direct behavior (extremely rare, most men are clueless). This makes women comfortable.

This is simply a failure to escalate when you have a woman in your home. There is no excuse for this, it's just classic beta behavior.

Seducing a woman is kind of like war. Blitzkrieg or face stalemate trench warfare. The days after her arrival were never going to work to begin with. You weren't going to fall in love over the weekend. Best case scenario was sex the first night, making her cum and want more so she would come back the next weekend or later.

Escalate that night, or bail on the weekend. Whatever impulse/thoughts she had that propelled her to drive five hours to see you were fresh that day/night. Women are of the moment. Always assume attraction and escalate. If they don't dig you, cool. Move on.

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I actually talked to her, and turns out i actually went "way too fast", and she wanted to spend more time getting to know me. I should have let things slowly build, but i lost my confidence upon rejection.

This is brilliant. I think you've nailed it.

Sounds like a huge waste of time, man.

Either there's an awesome spark at the start and you're tearing into each other, or there's not.

On to the next, dude. She sounds boring.

I know this exact situation, lol. These women are left in a trail of "meh" dust.

There are younger, hotter, smarter women waiting to rip your shirt off. Go get 'em.

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Too extreme. There is no either or when it comes to seduction. In fact, the very definition implies that the woman doesn't see it coming.

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She wasn't weird. You were.

You were looking for IOIs so you could make a move on her? How about the fact that she just drove 5 fucking hours to get to your house at 11 pm on 4th of July weekend?

I know you said you've been out of the game for a bit... But when a girl comes over to your house and plans on staying there, she's looking to get dicked down the entire weekend. Not attend fun events. Save that shit for when you're 5 years into a relationship and you need shit to do to shut the girl up from saying "Let's do something fun!" You started "dating" her before she even got a taste of your dick.

Slow. Down.

And you took your "first kiss" moment as seriously as a 15 year old would. you're adults. You know there is most definitely such thing as morning breath, right? Well if a girl has stinky ass morning breath... And she ACTUALLY likes you.... Chances are she's not going to want to kiss you in that moment of time.

You could use some guidance my man but you've obviously got some serious player potential.