So basically, I met this cool girl through mutual friends and really hit it off. K closed that night, had a couple of good dates and then I got the LJBF text. I was surprised because things were going really well, but I moved on ready to never talk to her again. Long story short, she reopened me a few weeks later, we hung out with our group of friends and I Fclosed her that night and a couple other times. After we hooked up she told me she really liked me, and wanted to be serious but she was afraid of getting hurt because of a bad breakup a while ago. She said thats why she LJBF'd me. Things are going great at this point.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, we went out for dinner, things seemed great, we end up back at her place, and she just seems really quiet and not like she wanted to hook up at all despite her inviting me back to her place. Now I will admit, I was really cautious and didnt push for it (probably my biggest mistake). Shes been really hard to read and it felt like kind of awkward. She said she had to be up early, we had an awkward kiss, and I left. We texted on and off that week, but she was clearly more distant until she started ignoring me all together the following week. I sent her one last opener, got no response and I haven't texted/heard from her in over 2 weeks now.

I know I screwed up a bit that night, but for the most part this girl has mind f*ck*d me. I know she likes me, and mutual friends told me she said the sex was great. While I have been talking to other girls since, I really like this one, and I honestly thought the heavy lifting and hard work were done and it was just smooth sailing into gf and bf land. I'll probably see her again at some point over the next month or so but I have been considering reopening her before that.

Any good reinitiate text suggestions, or should I go no contact until I see her again. Also, when I do inevitably see her again, do I still act unaffected or do I make it clear that I wont put up with her blowing me off again? One other minor detail, she has been liking stuff on my FB, she never did that when we were talking, only since we stopped. I am probably reading into that too much but it seems like an ioi to me.

This question almost seems double sided. To reinitiate is to accept that your willing to leave the game, unless she's ok with a open relationship. At the same time if you like her then you like her. Sounds like one-itis to me. Although that's not always bad. If you decided to reinitiate here's what I would do! Always start the convo with something non-related at all. If you closed then I'm assuming you went to her or at least have been I her car. A simple "hey I'm sorry to bother us but I can't find my sunglasses anywhere and then I was thinking maybe I left them in your car/house!" If your not ok with a blatant lie then just stretch the truth. Ask a friend to hide your sunglasses that way you never actually lied! You couldn't find them and maybe he hid them in her house! If she doesn't respond then forget her especially if you mention the sunglasses/hat/watch etc. was expensive. You'll get something like "umm sorry no I don't have it" and from there your in to initiate a conversation without having to lower your alpha male status by first apologizing. The strategy I would use would be that of knowing something went wrong but not knowing what. A simple "hey we haven't talked in a while and I have no idea why! Why not catch up over dinner/coffee etc. Throw in a DHV statement like "I've been super busy trying to catch up on some ______" Pick something you know she thinks is cool, wether it be reading, working out, a musical instrument or whatever. People are self centered. She will be more likely to say he hasn't talked to me because he was busy doing ___ than to admit that She wasn't worthy of you going after anymore. Also make sure to throw in an ultimatum. Don't say do you want to go out for dinner/coffee, rather say "I can pick you up on either Friday at 6 or Sunday at 5" when you give people two options they are more likely to just choose one than make a new option. If she says no a simple cocky funny "hey I didn't know you would be busy then no need to get sassy! Monday at 7 works fine to silt girl" might do the trick if not then there's one thing left to do. Go hook up with 10 girls to make yourself feel better. Each hotter than the next. Good luck! And happy sarging

To the poster above:
Bro, no one is gonna read ridiculous walls of text like that. Paragraph, will ya?

Any particular reason why you didn't simply communicate with her? You mistaken wasn't not pushing for it, it was ignoring her.

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Thanks for both the responses guys! I did communicate with her pretty clearly I thought, we talked on the phone a lot about what we were looking for and it seemed like we were on the same page. She just went cold out of nowhere that night, idk if its because she wanted me to step up and take charge or maybe something else I did, or if she just got nervous herself.

She told me a lot how different and better i was than other guys shes dated, but that she's afraid to get hurt again. Both times she stopped talking to me, it seemed like things were really progressing towards getting more serious. I think she is just afraid of getting into a relationship too soon so she just cut me off all together to avoid it.

Does it seem salvagable? I want to text her and reopen but idk its better to just stay out of contact till i see her again. I am going out with another girl this weekend to get my mind off of her.

I meant communicate with her that night. As in asking whats on her mind.

She probably is afraid of getting hurt. And there's always gonna be a conflict between that fear and her desire of opening up to you. Had you helped her do that, things would've been different.

I don't know what to tell you in regards to how salvageable it is. Don't know the dynamic of your relationship, but two weeks can be a long time of NC.
And how do you plan on seeing her again without actually planning a meetup?

She seems to like you, so if you want her for whatever reason all you gotta do is provide some emotional security, or at least be someone who can potentially provide it for her in the near future. That's it.
The longer you wait the more she'll drift away. This isn't a case of having her chase you. She doesn't wanna chase you. She doesn't wanna be chased either, yet she does. And if she is, she'll comply. Unless it's already too late.

Only one way to find out OP.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Oh ok I see what you mean by communicate that night then and there. Definitely could have helped had I just talked to her then. As far as seeing her again, we have mutual friends that we get together with now and then I could see her this weekend, could be another month for all I know, but it will happen eventually. Thats why I went no contact the first time she went cold because I knew I'd get an opportunity to game her again.

I don't know how to even provide her with some emotional security really. She asked me how I felt about her after a cpl hookups and I figured I was in at that point so I told her I viewed her as eventually being my gf and that I really liked her.

I'm gonna reopen her today and see what happens I think. At this point, is it time to just be completely open and tell her how I feel, or do I still need to act like everything is going great and I haven't even noticed the NC or her ignoring my texts a few weeks ago? Thanks for the advice man, as I said, this girl has mind fu*ked me pretty good lol.

She is not emotionally ready to date or for a relationship. So just leave her alone. Honestly what do you think is the prize after all of this? A relationship with a girl who will breakup with you a couple months down the line? Hot and cold for months? Keep her a fling, keep her as a casual hookup..but for God's sake stop treating a girl who is not relationship material as such. No dates. Have standards for yourself. Do you really want this hot and cold shit to continue?

Find a girl who knows what she wants. She's not ready for what you want. Disqalified. Simple.

Neo87, I guess I think the prize would be a cool gf. I mean we get along great, the sex is great and she's definitely one of the hotter girls I've been with. What can I say I've got a bad case of oneitus lol.

I see your points though, she does seem emotionally unavailable and like more of a hassle than its probably worth. I definitely dont want the hot and cold stuff to continue. So do you think I should keep going no contact?

Here's the thing though man, a relationship material is different from hanging/fucking material. Hanging out/fucking material could be hot and cool to hang out with. For a relationship you wanna make sure the girl possesses other qualities that are conducive to making a relationship at least work. Like lack of drama, emotionally ready for a relationship, honest etc. It's like if you were hiring someone for a job, just because they are charming doesn't mean you should hire them. If the job requires a certain maturity, certain qualifications, keep looking. You won't just hire a smart funny kid to be an important manager would you? No, because you'd at least want someone who has experience managing people. Enjoy it for what it is, a casual hookup. Because girls often know what's going on and will avoid the situation, not because they're crazy, but because they're smart. She knows she will just fuck up a relationship with you, so take her word for it.