Okay, so here's the short version - I have a girl I have been out with a few times and messed around a bit with(not all the way), seemingly has dropped off the face of the earth. We were perfectly fine, trading texts, etc. for weeks and then boom - nothing. I've followed up with a phone call (no voicemail) and a couple of texts, but nothing. I need some help in where I go from here. It's a long-distance thing, but I want to keep it going for when I return in 3-4 weeks so we can hook up.

So here are the details:

We met on Tinder (yeah I know) when I was traveling. She lives in one city, me in another, but I travel to her city frequently. After trading some messages, she sent me her # out of the blue. We set up a meeting, but she canceled saying she was too busy with work. She said we would have to wait until my next trip to her town, I followed up with well only if you actually want to, don't feel obligated to and she said of course I do, I wouldn't lead you on like that. Next time I was in town, we met and bar hopped all night. It was fun and we parted ways at the end of the night. Two days later she was at a work function and we planned on getting together later. When I was very close to giving up on her, she texted me, stopped by my place and we had drinks and messed around, she stayed overnight. I traveled back home the next day, we traded messages over the next few days, basically just saying we had a lot of fun.

Well now probably 4 weeks have passed and initially we were texting pretty much each day, although she was slow at times, other times she was responding immediately. The tone was great. We had days where she was out with friends and was texting me the whole night. Other times same thing for me doing the same.

Fast Forward - the past two weeks the texting has dropped off considerably. One week she told me ahead of time she would be superbusy with work, but she still sent me some random messages that seemed fine. Last week, she went to see her family and the communication was down again, but we did trade messages a bit. With her visiting her family I thought it was that unusual.

It's now been a week and I haven't heard from her. I read the last messages and it didn't lead me to believe anything at all was up. She was wrapping up her family trip and was heading back in a few days. I tried to call her the day after she got back from her trip and she didn't answer (not unusual, she's a little flaky with phone calls). Shot her a text and just asked how the trip was, no response. Three days pass and I sent a text that said - Is everything okay? No response. All of this isn't like her - at least what I know about her.

So here is what I know about her:

-She does have a pretty important job requiring a lot of work. She gets stressed a lot it seems
-She does seem a little flaky for sure, whether through our initial meetings or texts.
-Okay - I hate to bring this up, but it might explain something. In this wondering what happened to her I googled her name and found out she had a parent commit suicide a few years ago. Piecing together what she told me about her trip back home there was something with an anniversary of this event that she went to attend.
-Because of the above, I'm sure that has impacted her personality. With that said, she seemed very normal to me and not a wild crazy person by any means.
-She's not a 10 by any means, maybe more 6-7, but I like her personality and would like to stay in touch and see her when I travel to her city. I have enjoyed her so far and want to see her more.
-She's in her late 30's, so am I, so I have to think she's a little more mature/ not as flighty as a 20 year looking to party al the time.

Question/Concern - I'm totally clueless where to go from here. I do like her and as I mentioned want to see her again in a few weeks when I'm back in town, so I don't want to mess it up. It's got me down quite a bit, mainly because I didn't think anything was wrong at all. I'm basically left wondering - WTF happened? In the back of my mind I don't think she would end it by just stopping all communication.

Does the thing with her parent and the timing of her trip play a part in any of this? I don't need a lecture from anyone, but when I respond how can I touch on the feelings she probably had when one day her parent was gone? Since I haven't heard form her - what's to say something bad didn't happen.

Or perhaps she's just a Tinder whore? But if that's the case, why keep it going weeks afterward we first met when she knew there would be no payoff?

HELP - thanks guys!

Guys - any help would be appreciated. I'm stumped here.

Dude, she's pulling a fade out.

C'mon. It's up to you to take the hint here... She's laying the clues down pretty thick (and i know it's tough cause you are trying to rationalize how busy she is, etc, but be realistic):

If she WANTED to talk to you, could she? You do not seem difficult to get a hold of.

There ya go.

She does not want to talk to you... She's fading away. You trying to rescue this just makes you look like a chump.

I appreciate the prospective. You're probably right, but if it were the classic fade I wouldn't expect it to go from perfectly fine to a complete stop with no contact at all.

I've come the realization she is mentally whacked a bit by acting like this, so she's shown a lot to me already. however I would like to salvage anything so I could at least hook up later on. What's my Hail Mary play with this girl?

Long distance RELATIONSHIPS are near impossible to make work...I can't believe so many guys here have started this long distance DATING thing and wonder why it fizzles. Think of it from her perspective, she's late 30's...do you really think she wants to get involved in something serious that's STARTING long distance?

This ain't a lecture, just explaining the psychology going on here. I'm all for being honest with yourself and knowing your intent beforehand. This wasn't you trying to hook up, if so, then trading messages for weeks and dating was an inefficient way of doing so. If you want to sleep with a chick then sleep with her. This whole situation was only good for a travel fwbs deal, so start there. First night, bang.

She's not "whacked", in fact she is acting pretty sane. Why would she continue to pursue something or invest as much in something that can neither a) become a good relationship, or b) become sexual-because it's been 4 weeks and nothing. Unless she has so little options, another night of hanging out isn't something she will excited for, nor would she be excited to continue texting to get a long distance bf hopefully. Likewise, why would you invest any more time just to hook up with a girl, especially a 7?

So learn from it. Next time you're travelling and meet a girl, bang asap. ESPECIALLY with a chick from Tinder. ESPECIALLY with a chick living in another city.

Long distance doesn't work.

And as Charles said, she's fading.

PS: No matter how busy someone is, you can always make some time.

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